Guess work...

I just cannot figure out the girl i really like.

Maybe some members can give me an opinion here.

Okay, so we've known each other for two years, i met her through my housemate, her and him were kind of together, but it didn't last... He wasn't really interested in her and they eventually grew apart.

Okay so me and her meet up by chance months later, catch up and decide to go out for drinks.... We do this a few more times as friends and soon realise we like each other.

So one thing leads to another and we start seeing each other a lot more, we try and keep this quiet from my housemate (as to not rub his face in it) but then the guilt got the better of me and i admitted what was going on.

Obviously he didn't like it... and fell out with her and to an extent me...

Anyhow, me and her decided to cool if off for a while, since things became a little strained with the revalations of me and her.

Long story short: I've recently met up with her and told her i still feel for her. She tells me she misses my housemate and that she'd just rather be friends with me for now.... which is okay.

But then sometimes she keeps saying things like 'I had a dream, me and you were living together' and 'we should go away together sometime' ..... but when she's with her friends, she clams up and acts a little cold.....

So what i ask is: Do i stay cool and wait for her to decided what she wants? Knowing that it could possibly take forever, a potential wild goose chase?

Do i move on.... But compromise any chance of getting with the girl i like?

Choices Choices....

(oh and please don't offer adivce that goes 'follow your heart'..... My heart is undecided LOL.

reply to post by mr-lizard

Hi mr-lizard.
I think you're gonna have to play this one cool and just see what happens here.
I can tell you're in love with her but she seems torn between the two of you.
She's gotta get all feelings out of her system for your housemate first before any progress can happen, which I know is stating the obvious a bit !!
It sounds like you sure ain't ready to move on yet and forget about her, so IMO you should hang in there and see what cards destiny and fate deal up on this one.
It might be a good idea as well to get a place of your own and be away from your housemate if you can afford it.
Nothing is easy--love hurts I know
Hope everythin pans out well for you.

Thanks for reply...

Funnily enough i'm moving out at the end of the month, so things might turn out alright then.
Yes you're probably right, she's probably as torn as me....

Originally posted by mr-lizard
Thanks for reply...

Funnily enough i'm moving out at the end of the month, so things might turn out alright then.
Yes you're probably right, she's probably as torn as me....

I'm sure she's going through exactly the same emotions--not knowing what to do for the best.
Love is after all one of the most intense emotions.
it affects people in all sorts of ways--but for you both to move on and hopefully be together, she's gotta get all those feelings out of the way from her previous relationship.
Be positive, think positive and I'm sure the end result will be a happy one.

hmmm I would say be careful. She may be just as torn as you but she also may be playing games. If her feelings for you were true then why would she be cold to you in front of her friends. Just a cautious word of advice. True love prevails all.

reply to post by photobug


A fair point and one that catches me off guard sometimes. Although she is quite a private person and doesn't reveal things a quickly as others....???

I think you should try and get her to commit to that "lets go away together" bit the next time she mentions it, and take a little trip somewhere. If she then gets cold feet about it, probably isn't in the cards.

reply to post by Gazrok


I like that idea Gazrok...very smart and to put her on the spot as such would definatley show her true intentions. She is obviously still conflicted. If you take the wait and see route, just play it cool. Don't try and get uber-involved in her life. Every now and then ask her to lunch or maybe a pint or something. Friends, but not friends that hang out together all the time. Either she will work through her feelings for your housemate or she won't but either way you will gain a friend. JM2C. True love springs from friendship more often than lust.