posted on Jun, 5 2009 @ 02:25 AM
Only in chaos is order to be found
That is a sentence I keep hearing often and to be honest, it confuses me a lot.
I am a control freak on all levels of my life. In the past I've studied different paths, most with a guide or a teacher on the specific path. A lot
of them told me that my need for control is exactly what is 'blocking' me to move on.
Several years ago I became determind to loose the control obsession, out of the blue I met a guy who was into a form of chaos magic. He thought he
could help me with what I wanted to achieve. The truth was that, back then I didn't understand a thing about what he tried to teach me, the theories
involved quantum physics (things I never heard off back then) and his methods where all about "embracing chaos", inviting it even.
In me that eventually resulted into massive panic and fear attacks. I even needed to see my doctor and she diagnozed me with depersonalisation and
derealisation and put me on Xanax for a few weeks. So much for the details...
anyway, the above was closer to chaos then I ever wanted to be and I never looked into the subject again.
but now that sentence keeps popping up everywhere in my life
"only in chaos is order to be found"
and I really don't have a clue on how to approach this or how to interprete it.
Is there an expert on the matter here?
all insights are welcome