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Originally posted by Angus123
I have been suicidal most of my life, and I can't seem to shake off the past, which I cannot change, but seem doomed to relive in my mind over and over.
I had similar experiences growing up, and similar reflections today. Especially the missing of my old self. I keep thinking that was the truer me and I have gotten off course.
Originally posted by FadeToBlack
Originally posted by TravelerintheDark
I scored 26. The thing is, it would be nice to me if this were recognized and legitimized. I suffered a lot of torment in my life for being the way I was and if it is understood to be "normal", perhaps others won't need to go through the same thing.
But I will say that my experiences gave me a stronger will to understand why people do things they way they do, and why I was the way I was. For that reason, I wouldn't change a thing, personally.
As have I. I suffered torment for being the way I was. I couldn't help it. I scored a 26 as well. I can safely say that everything on that test is a legitimate diagnosis of the inner confides of my personality. I also agree that it should be considered normal as well, as those who stand out in a group will always be prone to scrutiny and degradation.
The saying "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" rings true in this situation. It really gave me the drive to seek out being fair and balanced, and made me a hell of a lot more mature than everyone my age. I have the experience of hanging out with more mature adults and to be endowed by their wisdom. In school, I would always hang out with the teachers... This experience had made a changing impact on how I perceive the world and make sense of it all.
This was invaluable to me. I grew up quickly. Sometimes I miss my old self, but I'm glad that I went through what I did because of the person it made me. I wouldn't change a thing.
That is why I reacted the way I did. I think it is an important thread for those who feel this way, and I wanted to hear more from them. I resent the idea of special, obviously. It's a loaded term. Especially since there are people who seem to think they are special in some way.
Originally posted by Karlhungis
I scored a 23. It seems to be getting worse for me lately.
This is an interesting topic. I can't quite understand why people are viewing this as some sort of "special club" though? This isn't exactly an indigo child thread. This isn't a superpower we are talking about here. The simple fact is that some people are wired differently. God forbid that like minded people actually comment on the same thread.....