reply to post by orange-light
Yes, I see it as we are born with instincts, such as "fight or flight". And we are also born with the capacity to learn and adapt. And so we
figure out which situations we can fight and which we flee. So we are malleable, easily shaped, and things stick much more readily.
As we age we become more rigid, and things that have stuck to us become a part of us, integrated. And we are much less inclined to change. Though
why is questionable. Perhaps fear?
Rigidity equals stability to many minds I think. But a rigid structure inevitably collapses when force is applied. Flexibility doesn't prevent
collapse, but yet provides more potential stability by allowing the absorption of forces of energy more adeptly.
To me, when something collapses it is an end but also a beginning. A chance to rebuild with what we learned the first time.
A child crying is a simple declaration. "I am." And existence is validated and continued through food, warmth, touch, shelter and hopefully love.
Also discipline and structure; the point where the child says, "I am" and the parent responds, "Yes, and so am I". And it becomes a delicate
We learn quickly that the system with either promote us, include us or marginalize us. And these things can stick for a lifetime.
But I think we can change. I believe we are who we are, but who we are is not entirely our thoughts and feelings. These things we can change as they
are often learned reactions. What we have learned, we can learn again, I think.
I think you're right about the man beside us. He is also in us as well. Reflecting what we have learned to think and feel. And so we can feel
judged. While we can't change the man beside us, we can change how we deal with the one in us. And over time that change translates from thoughts
and feelings to actions.
I admit that all I remember of Freud is from high school psychology is the ego, id and super-ego. I can't even remember with certainty what they
But I think these divisions are true in some sense and that they are the places from which we interact with those around us. And create power issues
when the child in us wants to cry and say "I am", but the adult we remember, that we keep inside says, "Yes, and so am I and that is more important