Feminism: Good or Bad?

Originally posted by Bluesma
I have had my own gripes with the feminist movement, but sometimes I think that we do not all have the same idea on what the term even refers to, and the principles and ideas associated with it.

Like in the OP, I read that it is because of the feminist movement that men found themselves with the pressure to work and sustain a family? Or be chained to responsibility if they get a woman pregnant??

See, for me, all that was already the case in the 50's, in fact it was even worse- men had to marry the woman they impregnate (abortion, her raising the child single, was not an acceptable option before the feminist movement) and since she was expected to stay at home, he had to bring home the bacon alone.

If anything, the feminist movement lightened up the load of responsibility for men in that area. IMO.

My particular complaints were born from my own experiences with a feminist mother, which I found almost fanatic and extremely hypocritical.

I was told whatever I do, do NOT be a housewife or stay at home mother- for that is slavery.
This ended up making me feel ashamed of all my nurturing and nesting instincts and drives, which frankly I consider to be my feminine side!

But I was encouraged to be aggressive and competative in the business world, ruthless and rational, which I experience as my masculine side.

The feminists, from my experience, hated femininity, and were largely obsessed with the superioroity of masculinity. They made the homemaker out to be a dumb slave, instead of the emotional guide, healer, manager of those in her entourage and creator of the future culture.

While mom was trying until her dying day to impress her father and husband, as if they were her Gods. I was pressured to take only sports that would teach me masculine traits, like Boxing and Motocross, not allowed to take "girly" ballet lessons... I ended up feeling like a repressed female, because of the feminist movement.

But then some people I talk to did not experience feminism to be about that stuff at all and disagree.
Perhaps it is misleadign to assume we each know what the other means.

But I have read some sociologists say that at that time (60's and 70's) the paternalization value peaked, and we have to expect now a strong swing of the pendalum to the other side- to extreme maternalization.

That may be happening, I see evidence of the possibility often. But I do not think it is born of the feminist movement- like I said, I think that was the peak of the cultures value for paternalization and the masculine qualities.

Simone DeBeauvoir made me sick, in "The Second Sex" which really illustrated to the max that period of rejection of femininity and "other", and hypocrisy! as she felt she was defending women, all I see is trashing them and her own femininity!

You use the word "femininity" a lot in your post, just wondering, what idea's does "femininity" combine and who do you think dreamed up those values in the first place?

With respect, men and women over the centuries have been expected to live up to those gender roles of "masculinity" and "femininity" when the simple truth is, you are not perfect and your mind and personality cannot be boxed. It shouldn't be boxed.

What some people define as femininity i could class as an insult, see what im getting at?

Originally posted by SearchLightsInc

You use the word "femininity" a lot in your post, just wondering, what idea's does "femininity" combine and who do you think dreamed up those values in the first place?

I consider my feminine qualities to be all my drives to be receptive (emotionally, physically, or mentally), to be introspective, subjective, the drive to merge and integrate.

I consider my masculine qualities to be all my drives to be projective (emotionally, physically, mentally); to be extrospective, objective; the drive to separate and define.

Many cultures and philosophies have considered these to be respectively Yin and Yang, and with good reason! Our feminine hormones increase and encourage development of the feminine qualities, and masculine hormones increase and encourage development of the masculine ones.

Even if you don't want to look to any scientific data, you can observe these effects in your own body, through your reproductive systems cycles- when the oestrogen is high and we are fertile, all these qualities rise in us! Then when our body goes into termination of unfertilized matter mode, hormones switch us into the masculine qualities....

With respect, men and women over the centuries have been expected to live up to those gender roles of "masculinity" and "femininity" when the simple truth is, you are not perfect and your mind and personality cannot be boxed. It shouldn't be boxed.

What some people define as femininity i could class as an insult, see what im getting at?

It is true that some "roles" or practices, may be better outlets for one type of quality than the other.
I have no idea how "being perfect" falls into the question at all..

All I know is that we all have a masculine and feminine side and qualities, and to say either side is "bad", or not acceptable (or insulting), is not balanced.


But I reject feminists who told me the feminine ones were wrong for me to have, and I shouldn't choose any roles which would allow me to live and experience them fully.


Perhaps their fight was to get females the right to live out and experience fully their masculine side- that they may have that option.
Unfortunately, for the feminists in my mothers entourage, their movement was motivated by their perception that masculine qualities are superior qualities; that roles where masculine traits are used are superior roles, therefore the only desireable ones.