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For EnglishPremier league Football (soccer fans )

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posted on May, 29 2009 @ 10:30 PM
The spartanta cam is firmly aimed at Old Trafford again today.
Sir Alex is nearing the end of guiding the Nephew of the clubs American
Owner as he nears his office.

“noo Chuck come into me office and I’ll gi ye a autographed tem shirt and a bottle of wine to give te ye Uncle.
The pair enter the office , Sir Alex appearss curious at the sight of three white cardboard boxes on his beautiful Scottish oak desk, “what are these I wonder...Chuck help me clear the desk of these three boxes eh so we can enjoy our hot chocolate and scones when they arrive.
“no worries Mr Ferguson ,”
Chuck lifts a box but the bottom gives way as he is placing it in the corner.
“wam bah eek momma momma”
“woots wrong Chuck what is it”
Chuck is pointing manically at the floor “theres a head on the floor, a freaking head Mr Ferguson geep geep”
Sir alex is frozen with a box under each arm he stares at the severed head and recognises it as Parks head.
“Its bloody jung see Park , God its Parks dead head”
“Ronaldos bloody replacement” fergie is angry now.
“Mr Ferguson do you think those boxes you’ve got have h hheads in the them ,Iam scared freaking bad”
Fergie is shaking he knows he must look inside the boxes but knows his heart may not take the strain
“Here chuck Iam going to put the boxes on the desk ye look in them and describe what ye see”
“Please no Mr Ferguson Iam scared to look”
“Chuck ye want me to tell ye Uncle ye tried to set fire te the Club grounds dog de ye”
“no sir no he will put me to work at Mcdonalds for sure,...I’ll do it I will open the boxes”
Chuck is going over to the desk he is opening both boxes at tyhe same time, he is now looking in one box “ Mr Ferguson this one has a freaking head in it too oh mommy”
Sir Alex is sitting on his swivel chair his eyes are closed he is deathly white”Tell me what does it look like Chuck?”
Chuck is almost sobbing “It has agirly headband on top, and it it is sneering”
“GOD NO its Berbatov F### Tevez’s bloody replacement bloody hell nearly me whole forward line gone gone.
Fergie is in shock the Barca game is less than a fortnight away he has told Ronaldo and Tevez they are to be sidelined for the final, now someone is killing his stated First X1 Front men and putting their heads in boxes...Fergie knees are knocking suddenly his kilt feels flimsy and coldness is seeping into his old Glasweigin Soul.
“Chuck Chucky tell me the last box is therea head in it”
“ Yes Sir sob oh mommy there is and he looks so innocent and beautiful like a puppy dog asleep”
“Fergie dreads asking the question but he knows he will” Describe the face te me Chuck”
Fergie is clenching the hem of his Kilt as if it can save him from Chucks reply
“ Its got beautiful big blue eyes and red Freckles Mr Ferguson like an angel...a dead freaking head angel”
Fergie jumps out of his chair and screams “NO NOT WAYNE NO NOT WAYNE ROONEY GOD NOT WAYNE”
Fergie is now in a rage he doesn’t appear to see David Beckham entering the office doorway on presumably Football Academy Business.
Fergie is punching the air he is lashing out he’s kicked the dead Koreans head by accident ....oh no it is sailing across the room in the air....God NO its hit David Beckham in the head, ........Beckham is on the floor God Chuck is doing mouth to mouth on him ,Sir Alex is staring in disbelief at what has occurred.
‘Mr Ferguson he is dead”
“God no not again , God they wont believe it was an accident”
“Why me God me entire forward line dead , now I have Beckham lying on me office floor bloody dead killed by a head kicked by f###### me.
Fergie suddenly regains his composure “Chuck drag the body inside the office close the door good lad”
Fergie places a fatherly hand on the shaking Chucks shoulder”chuck this looks bad for you first you try and set fire to Roger our beloved guard dog now you come and place boxes of heads on my desk and kill David Beckham with Parks head that is what the Police will believe”
“no mr Ferguson I didn’t do nothing freaking momma”
“witnesses saw you lighting Rogers tail’ they will speak up”
Ferguson has an idea brewing and smiles
“Now Chuck your Uncle is very very rich and has many connections he can sort this out but I need you phone him tell him you killed Beckham accidentally like and you need a team of clean up guys and a helicopter’
There is a knock on the door the tea lady “Mr Ferguson is everything ok?
“Aye Beatrice everythings fine but we don’t need any Hot chocolate and scones bye”
“oh its just there is a human head in the jaws of Roger the dog and it looks very real do you think it is a prank ....I mean a mannequin or something?
“God Fergie knows the game is up” he must change tack”
“Beatrice ...Chuck the American owners dangerous nephew ,is holding me hostage he has killed David Beckham and Wayne Rooney Berbatov and park.
Please ring the police quick he is mad .
Old Trafford is going to be busy thats for sure , meanwhile Ronaldo and Tevez are skulking exchanging strange looks as they arrive in the carpark for a planned team meeting.

posted on May, 30 2009 @ 04:34 AM
DAMN!! Its only fiction.Thought all my prayers had been answered for a brief moment.......MANURE scum.

posted on May, 30 2009 @ 04:43 AM
Sounds like a bitter scouser to me, just coz you won sweet FA this season

posted on May, 31 2009 @ 12:50 AM
Nay just a bit of fun.

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