posted on May, 26 2009 @ 07:51 AM
Here i have found it, i will post the part which pertains to this thread.
When i was 15, i was going through some dark personal issues. i was transplanted out of my family, out of my regular surroundings, and felt cut off.
As the year progressed, i was beginning to feel, what i can only describe as schizophrenic and manic psychotic. i was so deeply disturbed, but i knew
what was causing it, *********. So i decided to stop using it.
This helped for approximately 1 week. Then it went right back to the land of extreme paranoia. this lasted exactly 7 months. For a 15-16 year old,
this is some rough stuff to go through. i had epiphanies while going through this psychosis, it was like i was learning about reality, in a very harsh
and direct way.
i can distinctly break up the 7 months into two parts. The Truman Show Part, and the Matrix part. As i had up to that point only those things the
spirits could use as examples within my experience base, i believe these are what they used. i wasn't very spiritual before this, though highly into
spirituality afterwords, a year later maybe.
For 3-4 months, i wholly believed i was in the same situation as Jim Carrey was, living a reality tv show without knowing i was the main character. i
would go around where i was staying at the time, covering up holes in the wall thinking it was a peep hole for a camera. it was intense, way beyond
Then, for 3 or so months, it all switched up on me, i thought the Matrix was real. i was intent on unplugging myself, or maybe i was just plugged in
for a session, and my friends forgot to get me out. i couldn't trust anyone, and everyone was an Agent.
Then, as abruptly as this break began, it ended. And with its end came this ability to use both halves of my brain like i never could before. i could
analyze things as if i was a super computer, and my intuition was so great i thought i was the most powerful psychic in existence. these were traits i
did not have before this episode. And i never experienced anything like it since. i had mild anxiety/panic throughout the last 6 years, but one attack
every tree months four months or so. Never again everyday all day for 7 months.
In hindsight, i have come to find out that the Matrix is indeed real, just not the movie, and that i was being taught things. But the thought that
maybe i was just crazy has always been in the back of my mind. Until i read that article. it made sooo much sense. it was truly a relief as well.
i also realized that the ********* Spirit was partially responsible for me being taught these lessons. it wasn't its fault though, because in
hindsight, i was going to experience what i did, Herb or no Herb. Maybe not as profound, but i couldn't say. i only have my own experience to fall
i believe i am inherently Shaman, in some way. i'm a mix of Palestinian/Cherokee, maybe my native side had something to do with it, maybe i
incarnated many times as Shaman, i don't know. But i have, without a shadow of a doubt, gone through "dark night of the soul"
Edit to fix grammar
Edit to fix drug references (thanks Ghostrider, didnt think it would be an issue but don't want thread trashed on my account)
[edit on 26-5-2009 by M157yD4wn]
[edit on 26-5-2009 by M157yD4wn]