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Last night i was on the border patrol of crazytown

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posted on May, 26 2009 @ 06:15 AM
And almost crossed it.

I was sitting at home reading while the worse and longest thunderstorm in a very long time was entertaining itself and others outside. The book i was reading was from Terence McKenna and called the invisible landscape. In there he and his brother tries to make some sense of something they experienced in a rainforest somewhere. But that is not the point of this topic. There is a piece in that book that went on about how the Shamans of tribes all the world over are people who went schizophrenic and returned and instead of western notions that schizophrenia is purely a bad thing and causes delusions he stated that you only get schizophrenia when you resist the extra add ons of your perception and in short it is the resisting of the new informational stream that causes people to get schizophrenia as is known by us in the western world.

Shamans are the ones that went to 'crazytown' and found the exit again so now they can visit whenever they want without any trouble.

It just so happened i was reading it while being in a mindset making me susceptible for the text written there and i could feel the seperation diminish between consensus reality and surreality so to speak. A few moments i really was on the brink of just letting go and see what would happen but in the end i realized that there will be no support structure available when things go sour and i while i would jump on the chance to get a return ticket to some place like that there simply is no assurance i would be able to return if i wanted to.

I'm almost certain i could be able to push myself into that whole new level of awareness/perception/state of mind and it was exciting and scary at the same time but even having the feeling that people could consciously decide to get into the realm of schizophrenic/shamanistic reality shocked me.

Anyone else had something like this happen to them or wants to share some insight on all this?

[edit on 26-5-2009 by Harman]

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 07:46 AM
A "dark night of the soul" as it has been called. Theres a good wikipedia article on it, heres the link.

i have experienced a prolonged version of this, a six month long trip into "crazytown" without refreshments. Schizophrenia is the least worrisome part of what goes down.

This happened years ago, and the only thing i can compare it to was the few Ayahuasca ceremonies i've participated in, without the visual effects.

Imagine for a moment, a fifteen year old who has become aware that the world is not what he once believed it to be. That all of what he sees is very probably a figent of his imagination. All this data dropped COMPLETELY and SUDDENLY onto this fifteen year old. Too much to integrate in a too short period of time. It manifested itself in less than two days and continued for six or seven months.

i wrote a description of it on a forum i frequent, i will go have a look and see if i can find it.

love and peace

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 07:51 AM
Here i have found it, i will post the part which pertains to this thread.

When i was 15, i was going through some dark personal issues. i was transplanted out of my family, out of my regular surroundings, and felt cut off. As the year progressed, i was beginning to feel, what i can only describe as schizophrenic and manic psychotic. i was so deeply disturbed, but i knew what was causing it, *********. So i decided to stop using it.

This helped for approximately 1 week. Then it went right back to the land of extreme paranoia. this lasted exactly 7 months. For a 15-16 year old, this is some rough stuff to go through. i had epiphanies while going through this psychosis, it was like i was learning about reality, in a very harsh and direct way.

i can distinctly break up the 7 months into two parts. The Truman Show Part, and the Matrix part. As i had up to that point only those things the spirits could use as examples within my experience base, i believe these are what they used. i wasn't very spiritual before this, though highly into spirituality afterwords, a year later maybe.

For 3-4 months, i wholly believed i was in the same situation as Jim Carrey was, living a reality tv show without knowing i was the main character. i would go around where i was staying at the time, covering up holes in the wall thinking it was a peep hole for a camera. it was intense, way beyond just that.

Then, for 3 or so months, it all switched up on me, i thought the Matrix was real. i was intent on unplugging myself, or maybe i was just plugged in for a session, and my friends forgot to get me out. i couldn't trust anyone, and everyone was an Agent.

Then, as abruptly as this break began, it ended. And with its end came this ability to use both halves of my brain like i never could before. i could analyze things as if i was a super computer, and my intuition was so great i thought i was the most powerful psychic in existence. these were traits i did not have before this episode. And i never experienced anything like it since. i had mild anxiety/panic throughout the last 6 years, but one attack every tree months four months or so. Never again everyday all day for 7 months.

In hindsight, i have come to find out that the Matrix is indeed real, just not the movie, and that i was being taught things. But the thought that maybe i was just crazy has always been in the back of my mind. Until i read that article. it made sooo much sense. it was truly a relief as well.

i also realized that the ********* Spirit was partially responsible for me being taught these lessons. it wasn't its fault though, because in hindsight, i was going to experience what i did, Herb or no Herb. Maybe not as profound, but i couldn't say. i only have my own experience to fall back on.

i believe i am inherently Shaman, in some way. i'm a mix of Palestinian/Cherokee, maybe my native side had something to do with it, maybe i incarnated many times as Shaman, i don't know. But i have, without a shadow of a doubt, gone through "dark night of the soul"

Edit to fix grammar
Edit to fix drug references (thanks Ghostrider, didnt think it would be an issue but don't want thread trashed on my account)
[edit on 26-5-2009 by M157yD4wn]

[edit on 26-5-2009 by M157yD4wn]

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 08:08 AM
From what I've read, those on the Shamanistic path usually have guides, handlers, or sitters with them to assist in processing their experiences. Not only to 'ground' them in their experience but to offer insight, clarification and understanding.

I think the Shamanistic path could reveal hidden aspects of ourselves, our world, additional diminsions, and interaction with 'beings.' To do so with out the wisdom of a guide could indeed be dangerous and one could possibly get lost/trapped within their own mind.

I find it highly interesting you connected the experiences with schizophrenia as interacting with other aspects of yourself or 'yous', speaking with other entities, or becoming aware of things not actually visible to others on this plane of existence would indeed appear psychotic to most Westeners. In fact, I'm feeling a little kooky just writing about it. Nay, that's part of the problem with Western thinking. It minimizes and discredits the experiences of shamanistic techniques that have been around a lot longer then we have.

This thread brings memories of reading the experiences of Carlos Castanada. Thanks OP for sharing your near assent into the abyss or should we more accurately say your tipping around edges of enlightenment?

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 08:18 AM

You speak of what I would term the 'reality beyond information'.
I have dabbled at its doorstep once or twice in some very secluded and awe inspiring, powerful and pure nature settings.
I too turned back. I did not think I was prepared for it yet. I am not a Terrence McKenna, simply a 22 year old with a burning desire to learn.
Perhaps in the future I will go there and see what it's all about. I believe it is possible as long as you use reference points (job, parents, whatever) to ground yourself back to your physical reality.
The only issue I see is that if you traverse the information barrier then you may not be able to use reference points, as they are simply information...

M157yD4wn: You may wish to edit certain references to drugs which could get you in trouble or this thread trashed. I would also like to say that in most cases I have heard of, a drug simply brings out a lurking condition to which the individual is already predisposed to, that may manifest in the future regardless.

[edit on 26/5/09 by GhostR1der]

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 08:21 AM
reply to post by M157yD4wn

Good to read i'm not the only one
. It was a very enlightening read, thanks for that and i'm truly happy i was able to steer away from the full blown effects of the episode. Although i have to say that any insights it could give me if i only survive it without 'losing it' would be very interesting and helpful. To bad it would most likely take months to incorporate it into my system and that only if i can stay below the radar of the mental health people

[edit on 26-5-2009 by Harman]

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 08:29 AM
It's a strange feeling and one I grappled with for a day or two about a month ago. I'd been so deep into my spiritual readings, the Law of One, many threads here on ats regarding oobes, astral travel and the like.

I felt that I could easily slip into the void, happily I might add. But the fear of being labeled schizophrenic or worse, not being able to return to 'normal,' yanked me back to boring town. I was a bit depressed because that avenue seems to be filled with much more than this reality can ever offer.

Now I have trouble getting to the brink of the feeling, I'm even so busy at work that it's difficult to find time to slip even half way there. That was one reason I heavily weighed quitting my job and going for it. But the cold streets and hunger don't appeal to me just yet.

I'm going to pick up the book you mentioned in your OP, I actually felt the head tingling when I thought about reading it!

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 08:38 AM
In hindsight, if i knew even a tiny little bit of the nature of reality, before this went down, it may not have been quite as hard on me as it was. But i had none. i was never your typical teenager, but i didn't delve into anything deeply. if i had points of reference other than Truman Show or the Matrix, i would have preferred that.

It really is no fun thinking everybody in existence is watchng every little move you make from sunup till sundown. Nor is trying to "decode" everything i read or saw on tv. Imagine decoding words by breaking them into anagrams, then creating words based on a prior experience that day out of each letter. After thats finished, then imagine using a form of numerology to "decode" these words.

But i would do it all again. in a heartbeat. the benefits far outweighed the negatives.

Seeig as how you were reading a Mckenna book, you probably have a better grasp on the nature of things then i did when i was 15.
i say go for it. Slip into the other realms. Don't worry about whether you can come back or not. you will come back. but enjoy the experience,

After all, we are Spirits experiencing physicality. Why shouldn't we be Spirits experiencing Spirituality?

love and peace

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 08:51 AM
sometimes the only sane reaction is to ignore sanity altogether.

it strikes me that the the people that inhabited the world described as shamanic had a kind of world view where seeing was believing. we dwell in a world where we have been thought to distrust our own senses in preference to the things sensed through the cold observation of inanimate objects.

the abyss being described is only an abyss where things are sensed by you through the lens of your soul rather than the lens of a camera, for want of a better analogy.

for my two cents, weather you're ignoring the soul or relying on it altogether, a madness will result. the question you need to ask yourself isn't which way leads to madness, but rather which madness you prefer.

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 08:57 AM
I have been wrestling with this idea lately as well. I always come back to one idea when contemplating how I would handle taking on new sense perceptions and such. Crazy people do not know that they are crazy.

To the OP, you sound like you were on the verge of letting these new senses hit you. In doing that you know that these new things are not YOU, but just a new level of awareness. If you attach yourself to these new senses and think that they are you, you might drive yourself a little crazy. If you can simply observe them, maybe write them down, and attach some meaning to them, it maybe be useful to you.

If you start telling yourself that "this shouldn't be happening" and "I am really going crazy" and labeling as a bad thing, then it will be for you.

Think of it as a baby gaining the sense of sight for the first time. If no one else could see and he began describing this thing called "sight" to others, he would be considered crazy. The gift of sight could drive him mad, or he could enjoy it and let it enhance his world.

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 09:37 AM
Thanks for the replies and insights everyone, appreciated!

reply to post by GhostR1der

Good point, reference points are good things to have, doesn't matter what they are as long as they are strong enough. A few years back i did discover i have some sort of 'failsafe' that keeps part of me grounded while not resisting it. Without mentioning how i got into a state that i found that failsafe up and running it was an reasuring experience to have that working for me. It ended in me running out of a crowd with my body in a state of panic and part of my mind just laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation. I even warned the person i was with that i would soon run out and told him where he could find me. The panic was almost in it's whole a bodily reaction while the rest just went along for the ride.

reply to post by Whisper67

Thanks, my biggest inhabition to go for the ride itself is that there is nobody in my life that could be in a state to even begin to help me for what i almost tried to do. The only ones available would be whatever guide is inclined to help when going on the mental safari so to speak.

I did not make the connection between shamanism and schizophrenia by the way, McKenna did it, i just happen to agree with him and last night it was almost to much of a coincidence with him writing about the state of awareness that Shamans tap into, how they do it and what the pitfalls are and me being in a opportunity to explore it if i so wished.

reply to post by blujay

Hah, we are in a similar situation it would seem, read the book, it's a trip even reading it
. And i just realized that if the experience is something that you can decide to go into or not makes it managable i would think, or it is something like bungee-jumping ofcourse, you can choose to jump but after that you just hope the rope is tied to something. Hm, interesting.

reply to post by M157yD4wn

I still want to explore that realm of [whatever] for sure but i know how to get there now so why not do it in a place and on a moment i feel it would be safest, maybe taking a vacation for a week or two so that when i emerge myself in it i at least would be able to get my barings and put up some resemblance of 'normality' ( or the psychosis of the majority so to speak
) for the outisde world while getting through it.

reply to post by pieman

"for my two cents, weather you're ignoring the soul or relying on it altogether, a madness will result. the question you need to ask yourself isn't which way leads to madness, but rather which madness you prefer."

That made me smile and it is so true, thanks

reply to post by bringthelight

Exactly, just me being fearful made it a bad idea going through with it but my interest has been peaked in a big way, so this is not the end of it i think

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 10:16 AM
My personal sojourn in the "Dark night of the soul" was a direct result of
of losing complete control of my alcohol and drug usage. It's easy to discount that journey as just being trashed/wreaked/hammered all the time.
But in that space there are subtlies that emerge that are so profound that they change your life perspective forever. They are as real and concrete as any mystical esoteric discipline, but very painful and frightening in the experience of utter and complete aloneness. A spiritual death and rebirth. Not for the faint of heart!

[edit on 26-5-2009 by whaaa]

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 10:29 AM
I recently very narrowly missed being hit by a car that was travelling at around 80mph. I was stood stationary in the middle of the road as my motor cycle had broken down and as I was dragging it to the side the speeding driver didn't see me and swerved very abruptly, just missing me.

I was shook up but didn't think to much about it as I got a lift home. When I arrived home I felt very strange like I wasn't all here, I felt very lucid. Anyway the following day I still felt a little odd and by night ended up practically having a break down certain someone very close to me had died all just because they were late back and I couldn't get hold of them (mobile phone battery had gone flat). I was in bits pacing up and down, up and down until finally they came home. As you can imagine I felt ridiculous as well as relieved.

The following two weeks after this I felt very much how you've described in the fist post. I was sure I was going insane and felt I was literally clawing onto reality. Now I feel normal again but I feel like I'll never be the same again. Weird I know but just thought I'd share.

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 10:34 AM
Before I partake of the sacrament, I always say a prayer that God not let me make any adjustments, accidentally or otherwise, that might interfere with the proper running of the universe.

I would love to open that door and be able to go back whenever I pleased. My hat is off to those Shamans.

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 11:42 AM
I made a conscious choice. One that I don't regret now, but that presented me with some of the most difficult trials in my life. It was a choice of paths.

I was already aware of the connection between shamanism and madness/non-consensus reality having read a book called Native Healer. Though in the 10 years I spent "down there", I didn't remember the choice until I came back up to a certain point which was fairly recently. And there was a good deal of value in it for me, understanding myself, my life and experiences.

Madness, illness and any other form of "near death experience" are potential consciousness changers. In a literal fashion, they can alter brain currents, neurological pathways, creating connections that didn't exist before, opening the receiver up to all manner of subtler energies. The issues faced mentally often come in the conflict fought between the "conscious" and "unconscious" mind. There's a reason that it takes approximately 45 minutes to slip into REM sleep, a process that lulls the "conscious" mind to a state where it doesn't resist alterations to its version on consensus reality.

"Hallucinations" are a product of the conscious mind attempting to interpret something that doesn't fit. The "trick" for the shaman (or whatever title is culturally preferred for the particular "holy" man or woman) is to reconcile the conscious mind with a new reality. One that isn't based on the consensus of common experience. In short, to genuinely experience what others only believe to be true.

This is achievable also through meditation, yoga, pranayama, sweat lodge, pharmacological substances, etc. as well. The goal is the same. Though one is assuming a certain level of control while the other will almost certainly make the participant feel they are completely out of control.

In truth the control is an illusion, but the safety is not. At least far as being safe is concerned with maintaining life. There is very real danger of losing one's life taking the "dark" path. But it's a matter of belief how good or bad this is, how accidental or tragic anything is. The issue of control with these methods is more the control of being able to "come back" when one desires. But even that isn't a guarantee, just a reasonable assumption backed by common experience.

In short, folks, be careful. It's a far stranger universe than most of us imagine and can be quite startling. Whenever possible, seek the guidance of the experienced. The solitary journey is necessary for some of us, but I think all of us would agree that having a friend who understands along the way can be one of the greatest gifts ever bestowed.

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 12:32 PM
i've researched similar concepts related to the use of hallucinogenics in psychotherapy after i read a book called the dice man. good book. it led me to some conclusionss that might be relevant.

we use our five senses to gather information about the world around us and our brains then take this information and apply a set of assumptions and preconceptions to the information so that it makes sense. irrelevant or contradictory information is discarded routinely.(take a look at the secound post in this thread) we have no conscious control over the information discarded, it is discarded based on the assumptions and preconceptions mentioned.

i believe that madness, schizophrenia particularly, has a side effect which removes or reduces the influence of these basic preconceptions. this certainly allows the person to absorb and process more information and gives insight, but this is mixed up with lots of messy and contradictory information bought about by the disturbed state of mind.

what i would suggest is that if it was possible to break down the preconceptions without resorting to insanity or narcotics, it would be preferable.

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 12:36 PM
Border Patrol? I hope you don't try and shoot me if I want to bring some stuff back.

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 01:29 PM
I saw this topic after months of avoiding ATS so I decided to login to reply.

I have been to "crazy town" before. Physically I was normal, mentally I felt broken. It began when I was using ********* (a factor) daily for about six months prior to christmas 08-which was when I felt off- and a few times a week before that. I was depressed because of personal problems(a possible factor). Around this time I tried a drug thats in OTC cough syrup ONCE(big factor, don't want to get into specifics). I also believe that the Omega-3 supplement may have been a big factor, as I was taking three of them a day during all of the above. Maybe, as one person said, the very thought of being labeled as "crazy" was enough to cause stress (I work in a mental facility so I know "crazy" when i see it)
The first week was the most extreme. I had trouble with memory, I closed my eyes and after images would stick with me for a long time, I felt scared, at night before sleeping i would hear/see faint noises/ sounds and my eyes couldn't keep track on words in the middle of the sentences (when reading). It was a good feeling though. Everything felt new and like I was discovering everything for the first time. I felt like i Was just observing my life. I was free from this reality, viewing another one.
For about the next month I still felt very surreal but I wasn't scared anymore and just decided to go through what ever I was dealing with. I was feeling better, but when I would get stressed at all I would feel like things weren't real (stress responses release neurochemicals that threw my already unstable mental state). keep in mind that i was also dealing with ********* withdrawal. Sometimes, I would feel like I was stuck in a Time loop. I also felt like passing out.At this time was when my interest in nueroscience was sparked. I would feel pressure in my head and thought that something was wrong (I think that was because enlarger ventricles within my brain).I would have an idea, and at every word I could have a different idea, ultimately losing the original one. The good part was that I had better observational skills, the bad was that I didn't have enough memory to stor it all. I would zone out towards the end of this month alot but I could feel that I was getting "better". the next 2 or three months I would still feel off when stressed and visuals would seem to spin a little on things I wasn't consciously looking at.
slowly I realized that reality was retuning, but it wasn't as definite as I once thought it was. I kept a notebook but I only wrote about science and God in it. the whole thing has a dream-like quality to it. I remember one dream the first week. everything was peaceful and one guy was telling me "sigma something". weeks later it was found dmt was an agonist of the sigma receptor. Weird small things still happen like this but all the time. Now i think it maybe because of '___'(endocytosin) released naturally to wake up my brain from the slump I was in. I remember reading that Shamans have higher degree of '___' in their urine.I love life now and dont let things get to me and I am closer to God than I was before. i like the person I have become of this. I thank God for my life. If I could do it again I wouldn't change a thing.

Edit- Spelling

[edit on 26-5-2009 by Another 1evel]

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 01:36 PM
reply to post by pieman

by preconceptions you mean like filters right? Ii think thats why there is a link between Low Latent Inhibition and schizophrenia. I think that Schizophrenics become conscious of that to some degree and unwittingly change that process. A Shaman, on the other hand, has learned to control it more or less.

posted on May, 26 2009 @ 02:08 PM
reply to post by Another 1evel

filters seems an apt description. i don't know much about latent inhibitions or mental illness in that respect, or any respect really, other than as a side issue to the other direction i mention, but it sounds fascinating. would you mind expanding a little if you can?

[edit on 26/5/09 by pieman]

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