Why Do Bad Things Keep Happening to Me?

Hi Everyone. I want to make some very practical statements here. I continually here the phrase "everything happens for a reason". It's in the papers, interviews, television. There are people who believe this without question. To believe that everything happens for a reason, is to believe in predestination. To believe that everything is predestined, is to negate free will. Do you believe in free will? I know I do. I cherish it.

But back to "everything happens for a reason". Yes, it does.
Consider this:

If you go through the windshield of a car; the reason is you were not wearing your seatbelt.

If you develop emphysema, the reason is you very likely smoked too many cigarettes.

If you develop high cholestrol, the reason is poor diet, or it is heritary.

If your dog gets hit by a car, the reason is, you didn't have her on a leash.

If you were in a traffic accident, the reason is you were driving without being attentive enough, or you happen to be struck by someone who was not being attentive enough.

You see where I am going with this. When many bad things happen close together, sometimes it is just because we have become careless with our lives. I've gone through periods where I have become careless with my life. Cast my fate to the wind, so to speak. Or lose interest in our lives. It happens. People can begin to find their own lives very uninteresting, and stop paying attention to what's going on with it. And things begin to deteriorate very quickly in these periods.

May I suggest this. Take control. Consciously take control of your life, and the lives of your pets. Watch what you eat; control what you eat. Do the things we all need to do to take care of ourselves. Exercise, rest, have fun, blah blah. All those things we hear all the time.

The same with your pets. Someone dropped a pill on the floor and was not vigilent enough to notice it, or didn't bother to pick it up. This was random. This was human carelessness. You are not being punished by the cosmos.

So be vigilent. Start actively taking care of yourself and those around you. Notice what is going on, and take control of it, insofar as it concerns you.

As for luck...Are some people luckier than others? Of course. I could go to the casino on any given night and watch all the people around me hit jackpots.

But to be feeding yourself the message "bad things happen to me....I'm an unlucky person", translates that you consider yourself a loser. And you are so so so NOT a loser. So stop telling yourself that. Try telling yourself, that yes, you've had a run of unfortunate events, some of your making, some not. But that's over now. You are taking control of your life. You will no longer be careless with your life. Expect, demand that things turn around. Tackle your health problems. And for crying out loud, engage in fun. Fun is so important. Please find what motivates you...what makes you feel free. What makes you feel alive.

And be vigilant. Watch what is going on around you, and intervene if you need to. I'm not saying be hypervigilant, and go around like a crazy person trying to control everything and everyone around you. But be vigilant. And don't be careless with your life. I read somewhere on ATS a post that said "thoughts are creative". That has stuck with me. Have the thought that things are turning around for you. They will. You'll see. I am thinking good thoughts for you now, and I will do so everyday for the next week. Join me, okay? Love to you.

[edit on 28-5-2009 by ladyinwaiting]

[edit on 28-5-2009 by ladyinwaiting]

reply to post by ladyinwaiting


Yes you go along the boarder lines of Karma, which is very real.

It is harsher than you think, if someone dies a slow painful death they deserved it, it is not negative for it is positive in the big picture.

Take every action into consideration understanding that their is ALWAYS reaction.

If you steal don't think you have gotten away for you give off a ripple effect that always bounces back (throw a pebble in a bucket of water, the ripples come back to the same point after bouncing off of the edges).

It can be seen in nature, think.

Also do no state bad things are happening to you for the Universe works in the way that it attracts to the action of thinking and feeling that and gives off a reaction.

-Psycho.

I always, ALWAYS have just as good a day as I make up my mind I'm going to have.

If I don't want anything unpleasant to happen, nothing unpleasant happens.

If I expect bad things to happen, it's truly a constant stream.

Originally posted by andy1033
I know what it like. Just be thankful if you have your own mind in this world. I have been monitored non stop for 17 years by the government without ever doing anything, and t will probably never stop. They seem absolutely desperate to destroy my life.

When i hear stories like yours, and mine, i just do not know really what advice to give, but alot of us on this planet have to go through hell.

All my life is like pissing into the wind, for no reason. Sounds like the op has that too.

What can one say.

So why would they be monitoring you for no apparent reason? It cost money and time to do that kind of behavior. There must be some reason for them to expend those kinds of resources, eh?

[edit on 2-6-2009 by DragonriderGal]

I would also check for hidden toxins in your living environment. If you keep getting sick and your pets keep getting sick/poisoned, that is kinda suspicious, eh?
All the other things happen to other people too, but if it is all exacerbated by your poor health, it makes it all seem far worse, perception-wise I would think. You might also want to check into Dr. Hulda Clark's work. I have gotten rid of diabetes and high blood pressure using her protocol.

reply to post by Psychonaughty


Actually I do believe in Karma. But not to the degree you describe.

If you stub your toe, it's obviously because you were not watching where you were going, and not that you are being punished by Karmic forces.

What goes around, may or may not come back around. I see Karma as more important than that. It may not respond to a small thing a human being may do in the course of a day. It is not trivial. It is more important than that.

I do respect what you think, very much. To have a system of beliefs that you value is so much better than to have nothing.

And what I believe, and what you believe are not really mutally exclusive. They can exist together.

Think of all the components of yourself which work together on a daily basis:

Your physical/biological self. And the brain you have, and the reasoning ability you have been given to know to take care of that physical self.

Your intelligence; your brain. Your ability to reason. To make decisions which protect you. Humans have been given drives and the ability to reason. We use that reasoning ability everyday. Does it fail at times?
Of course. Failures are a part of being human.

Your spiritual side: There are those of us who neglect it. Those of us who nurture it, try to feed it, try to stay tuned in to it. You do. I do. Maybe it has taken us down slightly diffierent paths, but it seems to be working. Something that kept me jumping all the time and living in fear and horror, would not work for me, personally. I would not function well as a person, as a professional, as a physical entity, or as a curious and creative human, if I were afraid to act or think ,for fear of some great and intangible judge such as Karma, swooping down on me at any given moment, because of some minor detail.I would live in fear, and I choose not to live in fear. Learning is a huge part of what we are. And in the course of leaning, we make mistakes. So at times we make mistakes for a reason, that is, too learn. Not to be punished.

But if I deliberately tried to crush someone's spirit, shatter their dreams, or destroy them somehow? Well, yes. I think there would be dues to pay.


Then there is science. It effects us in every way, from our climate, our weather, our research. Too many to ponder here.

But all of these, and other aspects also (our personality, our psychology,
our history, our creativity and inventiveness, our politics), all work together to make us the creatures we are. They work together. And these are the reasons that human beings are such complicated, fascinating, "fabulous monsters".

Karmic and spiritual beliefs do not negate the physical and scientific part of us that is true. The physcial and Scientific aspects of us do not negate
the spiritual side of us, which is also true. IMO.

However, there is one area we do differ greatly on. You said "do not say......(whatever it was you told me not to say"). My thoughts and beliefs are that I am an American woman, and consequently I may say whatever I wish. That too, is a part of my belief. I may disagree with other's opinions and belief's, but I may not tell them not to say it. That could be.......bad Karma?

I'm just joking with that last remark. I wish for you the very best from all our many sides, and I wish it for me too. I do try.
Isn't that really all any of us can do? And of course, I mean really TRY.
There are people who say they are trying, and maybe even believe they are. But sadly no, they are not. Trying is a very active endeavor, and can require a great deal of work. Trying is not for the lazy. But with that, I am "preaching to the choir". My best to you.

reply to post by jeepin4x4girl


I'm sorry to hear about your misfortunes, believe me I've had my share as well and for a long time thought there was a curse on my head. Why do seemingly bad people excel in life? Why are good people destroyed continuously? It is a question that has perplexed scholars, philosophers, religious leaders, etc since the dawn of recorded history. I don't know of your beliefs, but if your willing read the book of Job in the bible, and it will explain some of this. Peace unto you.

It seems that I may be coming late to the table so to speak, but I just found this site and joined. The reason: I've been going through what Jeep has been going through recently and cannot figure out why since I am also usually the one who is ready, willing and wanting to help other peoplel

What I have found is that once we get into a trend of what we consider "negative happenings", we tend to think that everything is negative and we forget all of the good things that have happened in between so, one "bad thing" leads to the next type of thing. We then, continue on to connect the "negative dots" and we bypass the positive!

No doubt, Jeep, that's a lot of stuff to deal with in a relatively short period of time. It's that point that makes it so hard to deal with and pushes our concentration onto only those negative things and makes it all appear as though it's one huge dark cloud that's over our heads. Eventually, we tend to ony be looking for "the negative" and our entire lives seem as though they are all only negativity.

I think in expecting things to go fairly smoothly and hoping that nothing bad happens, we tend to set ourselves up for a huge fall. We have to "temper" our lives to include the idea that we will have "bad" or "negative" things happen in our lives. Everyone has them. I think the difference lays in the idea that some overlook the negative things and concentrate on the positive. Others tend to mount up a list of "bad things" and concentrate only on those, bypassing the positive.

No doubt, your pets having to be put to sleep at really difficult times in your life is hard. I've had that happen too. My one cat died the day that my grandmother was buried. Buried my grandmother, then came home to my cat dying and had to put her to sleep that very evening. (totally unexpectedly). My dog had to be put to sleep a couple of weeks before my dad took a turn for the worst with his battle with cancer and died. They were all unrelated and had no bearing on the next "bad happening". But, if you do enough "connecting the negative dots" and bypassing the "positive dots", we can all come to the conclusion that there's ony negative.

Not to downplay what you've been through but, perhaps, it's time to forget about "doing good" for everyone else and take care of yourself? What would YOU like to happen for yourself? How about bypassing taking care of others for a change and taking that time and energy and put it towards making YOU happy and healthy right now? In other words, take a vacation from making good happen for others and make it happen for YOU?!

Bad/negative things will still happen as it does to us all BUT, if you are in a positive headspace and emotional state when they do hit and having positive experiences, it's not quite as hard to take. Always give yourself something to look forward to....even if it's only a good movie, a bowl of popcorn and your feet up or, a bubble bath with good music that you enjoy, a coffee with someone you enjoy. Alway give yourself something positive to look forward to. Keep a list of things so that each day, you have something...no matter how small it may be.

Sickness, accidents, deaths, broken appliances, losses, job losses etc., will always be part of human existence. We all have to accept that fact. The mistake is in believing that this will always be the case and they will continue happening in that intensity. It's a generalization that can create a lot of upset. Know that things come in spits and spurts and just as the "bad" comes in bunches, so does the good. More to the point, you need to CREATE some of the good for youself! Don't rely upon outside forces totally for that. YOU have some power there as well! USE IT!!!

HUGS to you for what you're going through. Know that you're NOT alone in this. It's all part of life and human exitence and human experience. Change those things you can and accept those that you can't change.

To Centurionx:

I'm laughing here because it's so true that seemingly "bad people" do have good things happening to them while seemingly "good people" have bad things happen to them.

My theory is that the "bad" seem to do everything in their power to get what they want and make good things happen to and for them while the "good people" are out doing good for OTHERS and therefore, are missing the boat in making good happen for themselves!

Sometimes, we've got to make ourselves our #1 priority and put that energy into making good things happen for ourselves.

Of course if we are being totally selfish, it will come back to bite us in the behinds and generally, eventually, those who have stepped on others (the bad) will have it come back to bite them in the rear too. But, by not helping ourselves and focusing too much on others and others' needs, we are being "bad" to ourselves. THAT will bite US in the behind too!

There's a balance there. Sometimes, we need a vacation from caring so much about others and doing good for others so that we can use that energy to make good things happen for us. That doesn't mean excluding everyone else...just lightening up and putting more focus into our own "good" for a bit. Once we've hit that balance, things will even out more.

I am amazed and disgusted by the mantra of "karma." Thousands of people starve each day, die in penury each day. I cannot imagine that a majority of the world's poulation deserves to be born into a life of constant painful survival. I cannot fathom the logic of suffering through many lives until reaching enlightenment. How does suffering lead to enlightenment or represent justice. It just seems like a circle of pain. How does karma fix anything or explain anything. Darwinian struggle explains life better than that of ancient Brahmin philosophy based on nothing but ideology.
It is is such an ideology that was used against the lower classes. "You belong to a lower caste so you are suffering because of karma and we have been blessed by it so we can rule you!" Sounds sane to me. All this pain and suffering is to explained by karma? I have seen many people suffer and I cannot imagine how they are being karmically cleansed since there is nothing learned and no incentive to enlightenment besides an ability to simply survive. Karma in no way shows or explains why there is suffering. Life is a struggle to survive and continue (thank you Darwin). We do not need 2,500 Brahmin fascit ideology in new age garb.
That said, I believe there are dark forces at work. I know someone who has had a life filled with such bad luck that does not conform to their kind, almost saintly, character. A rich person (who had good karma in a previous life) will most likely become a miser. Someone who came in with worse karma will wash dishes in China. Neither will gain enlightenment; indeed, their good karma coins will decrease. It is a circle rigged against humanity if true (thankfully it is not).
So you karma clappers quiet down. How dare you belittle peoples' suffering. Do you want enlightenment? Look at the one who suffers and continues to be a human being. He/she is greater than your aryan idiocy, greater and more merciful than the god of the bible and quran.

a reply to: jeepin4x4girl

I have had the same. Very close story as yours. Even a cat put down. I have some answers. What helps me but doesn't seem to stop it completely.

Just caught this thread, and just want to say I sincerely hope your luck turns around.

I also don't understand why no more than a handful of people gave you S+F, but honestly it's the least they can do to make you feel a little bit better about sharing such an awful string of calamities.