Feeling Inadiquate.

Hey all, wasn't sure where I'd post this. So in advance, sorry.

Here's my story.

I'm Norwegian. Moved to the states at a very young age. I lived the majority of my short life in the states. All my schooling was back in the states, my first girlfriend, my first motorcycle and all the other life experiences you'd have, was back in the states.

I came back to Norway a few years ago in hopes to go to become an Architect. (Schooling here is free since we're socialists.)

That of course fell through. I was accepted and had plans, but things happened. I met a girl, fell in love, had a child. We lasted for about four years then it ended. Our relationship was far from perfect, in fact, it was abusive.

Since that time, I've had nerve problems, get really nervous in arguments, have a big self esteem issue and other things left over from that relationship.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, that it feels like everyone else is more valuable, more important then me. I'm not a freak of nature, I behave some what normally socially. (Don't like parties any more because of my nerves.)

Why am I in this rut? I've been this way for about three-four years now. The rut I'm talking about is of course my feeling of inadequacy. I've not been able to have a relationship, I feel like no one would want someone like me, like I'm a defect.

I don't have that many friends, mainly because I find making friends here in Norway to be difficult. Back in the states, I could start up a conversation with the guy filling gas next to me and leave fully tanked and with a new friend. Not so here. (Everyone here is so conservative when it comes to new people.)

I don't know where I'm going with this. I guess I just needed to post something.

Sorry all.

FK

Is it possible for you to come back to the States? It sounds like that relationship did a lot of damage.The best thing you can do is open up and talk about what you are feeling and having trouble with.We all go thru these feelings at one time or another.You sound very intelligent and likable to me and everyone who read your post. If possible talking with a Pastor or priest or counselour would be helpful. Just remember everyone feels like you do,just don`t get stuck there talk with someone. I really get a little panicky in crowds or just certain situations but that is totally normal as well.I just prefer to not put myself in those conditions and I think a lot of us can relate to these feelings.I probably didn`t help much but I wanted to try.Take Care

Hey, thanks Kleah.

I'd like to come back to the states, but I've got work and a kid here to tend to.

That relationship was (is) a living hell. I have a post about it somewhere. I'm still trying to get out of the hole I let myself fall into in that relationship, but being around people who feel so different from me makes it a little harder. But I'll have to manage.

I don't have many people I'd like to talk to about this. I'm not the "sharing" kind of guy. I keep things pretty much for myself, but then it gets so full inside I have to do something about it, hence this thread. (It's easier to talk to people you don't know they say. I find it to be true.)

It's getting late here, and I'll post some more tomorrow.

Thank you for your reply.

It's so cliche' but it's true - Follow your heart, be the best dad you can be and pursue the things that interest you to the extent that you can and you will meet someone.

When it's really meant to be there is nothing you can do to "make it happen" and there's nothing you can do to "screw it up"

Hang in there and be yourself. "Never doubt your beliefs, only your doubts".

Have you tried counseling? There are drugs that may help with the nerves issue also (but should be prescribed by a physician).

If my wife doesn't take a certain little pill, then she can switch gears in a really bad way...(and she'll know it, and recognize it afterwards, and know it was because she didn't take that med)...

While such things are often over-prescribed...in some cases, you just plain need it to function normally...so if they tell you medication is an answer, be sure to get more than one opinion....(if you can do that with socialized medicine)....