Wow, I'm both envious and frightened for you. Let me explain, and, look, I mean no harm -- it's just the way I look a things.
I'm 51, not that that matters. I've had questions all my life. When I sign up for things online I always list myself as a "student", because,
hey, that's what I am. Student for life. I've heard people here locally infer that they know all they need to and I think to myself...... "gee,
that would be death for me." It's true.
Not to get too daisylike or fuzzy on you, but it really IS the journey that matters, at least to me. I said I am envious, and that's true, because
I'd LOVE to truly know the answers to many of my lifelong questions -- things I've researched and sought answers to in faraway lands and came back
with more evidence, however MORE questions than answers.
I can't say that I've ever felt the way you said. I've always had questions. I kinda think I always will. Sure, along the way, some things
get answered for me, but it's a cumulative effect -- a tipping point of information as it pertains to a particular question. That's the nature of
belief, and I've come to realize that many of the questions we ask of ourselves don't really have a definative answer. Somewhere along the line
one has to sense the pattern and correlate the information and come to a believe.
This, of course, is the antithesis of the scientific process, but it's the core of the human process. We reach our beliefs, and the only thing I
can thing to advise you of, OP, is to be open to reforming your beliefs when persuasive data comes your way. Beliefs are funny like that. You
can't just close the door and say, "that's it, I know this thing." Why? Because your data may have had errors or assumptions and you always,
ALWAYS have to leave the door open for at least discussion, and leave your mind open a crack for understanding, because it will happen for you if you
There. That's the sum total benefit of my years. All wrapped up tidily in a thread reply.
So now, it's my time to thank YOU, because I
haven't wandered this particular way of thinking in perhaps three or four months. You remind me to see the world with wonder and to shrug off my
paradigms, and to feel.
Don't forget to smile and laugh. Your body loves endorphins.