posted on May, 18 2009 @ 08:12 AM
A bit long and nothing earth shattering in the grand scheme of things, just some thoughts on my oldest child leaving her teen years.
My oldest daughter turned 20 years old yesterday. This may not be amazing but it seems just the day before that she was a little girl. She is now a
beautiful young lady. It all sounds so cliche and has been written about by thousands of parents everywhere but when it happens to your own children
somehow it is different.
She has been a fairly easy child to raise, always easy going and friendly. K slept all night at five and a half weeks old to our amazement. All the
baby stages you watch for came along slowly, she didn't hold a bottle until she was ten months old. She didn't crawl until she was a year old, and
didn't walk on her own until she was fifteen and a half months old. We worried and doctors did the requisite tests, and of course she was fine, just
taking her time.
School came and she liked it. There was some difficulty with reading and writing and much later we found out she had a problem processing what she
read. Thank goodness for special education she was able to catch up. (if anyone tells you that "whole language" is the way to teach children to read
and write...run) There were the braces and glasses, braces now gone and contacts purchased. K is a thriving , soon to be junior in college studying
History and loving it. Her grades are great and so she can't spell very well, the computer age has been her saviour.
Boyfriends have come and gone and for the most part her choices have been good. My heart breaks more than hers when one of them has left her sad. I
haven't met the newest one but my husband says he seems nice and we will see what happens. The choice is hers of course and I look forward to seeing
her happy and settled...but not too fast.
I turned 50 last year and one child has survived her teenage years, where did time go? I never imagined myself this age and my children growing up. Of
course you know it is going to happen but sometimes life is so busy you never stop to think about it. I would like to think I can take some credit for
how she is turning out, independent, out spoken and opinionated. She is also smart, caring and responsible, often taking care of me. We are great
friends and enjoy being together. I have given both my children a love of music and we enjoy going to concerts together. They are never embarassed
their mother is taking them to the shows, although I have been told to stop singing on several occasions. We shop together, watch tv or just talk,
they even enjoy travelling with us as well. As she gets older I hope we continue to be great friends. I don't ever want to be "that" mother-in-law
you have to be dragged to see.
My mother and I have a great relationship as well and when I was pregnant the first time I was hoping for a girl so I could have what my mother and I
have. I got that daughter in K. When I had a second daughter I was only minutely disappointed it wasn't a boy. I have two lovely daughters to share
what I have with my mother. My husband doesn't seem to mind being "left out" but I do feel sorry for him sometimes that he doesn't have a son to
share what I do with my girls. They didn't mind fishing with him when they were younger but it harder now for him to get them by a stream. I remember
my father saying, he loves his daughters (he has three) but once he got older he would have liked to have a son to share things with. He has grandsons
now and I know that he enjoys doing things with them as he would a son.
Kudos to those who have raised their children to adulthood, I know that parenting never stops but I am hoping it gets easier. I have one daughter who
is still a teen and although she has been more challenging than her older sister she is a blessing in my life every day. Very different than her
sister in many ways it has made it interesting to see them learn to get along and sometimes even like each other. I know there is love and a special
bond between them. I look forward to writing a similar blog when E is 20.
To those that still have small children, cherish every minute. I know it has been said a thousand times by the same parents I mentioned above but
before you know it they are 20, getting ready to move on, giving you grief and joy and making you proud every day you got to be their parent. Enjoy.