posted on May, 16 2009 @ 03:12 AM
The reason why I decided to publicly blog is because I have lost all hope for an end to my suffering. Under President Bush’s presidency, I always
looked forward to the election of a new president as an end to my torture, since at the time every major candidate spoke out against torture. However,
after President Obama got elected, my torture continues while at the same time he is telling the American people that America does not torture. And
especially after he said in his address before Congress that without exception or equivocation we do not torture, I am now convinced my suffering will
not be ending anytime soon. I have lost all hope and have become very desperate.
My psychological symptoms keep worsen each passing day. To mention an example, lately I started to shake violently and uncontrollably in my bed at
Thank you and God Bless
PS Just to answer some messages I have received:
Some may claim this is not how the intelligence community operates. Well, I argue this is exactly how the intelligence community of a particular
government would operate if that government on the surface claims that everyone, regardless of race, ethnicity and religion, is free to speak.
So, if they were to detain me based on my speech, then our government would lose much leverage in world affairs, since my case would then gain
publicity through my friends and family contacting the media. (For example, one of basis of the Iraq War was to bring freedom and democracy to that
country. Also, USA constantly publicizes human rights abuses in other countries like China and Russia while at the same time touting this country's
freedoms). So, rather than detaining me and sending me to a secret prison based on my speech, they decided to torture me in this manner and maintain
an invisible hand while doing it.
Since, the CIA thinks I am a spy of Iran (a nation that there is a looming war with and with the fact that there are over 1 million Muslim Iranians
living in USA), how can you argue that the CIA would not engage in this kind of behavior, especially if it meant for them, best case scenario that I
will have a mental breakdown as a result of their psychological torture and confess to authorities that I am a spy. If I was a spy, this would mean
that they would gain valuable information about Iranian spies/terrorist cells operating in the USA (tactics, recruitment, funding, coded messaging,
etc etc), and it would also give them leverage over Iran, that is having a spy/terrorist in custody that they can threaten to go public about. And at
the same time they can deny any wrongdoing that they did to me because of their invisible hand that was maintained in my torture. They can simply say
I was an example where a foreign spy broke down on his own due to the pressures of espionage/cell activity.
And many have suggested that I gather evidence. Well, after I first wanted to check my house for bugs, they sent me a very clear message to not even
dare to do so (see above). I have been living in fear for over 32 months. Sometimes, it is so bad, it feels like the fear is gripping and paralyzing
my whole body. Also, the incidents I have left out are the scariest ones. They have directly threatened to kill me on many occasions but I do not want
to go into details. It has taken me over two and a half years to finally blog and I have only mentioned a few of the symptoms I experience. To list
one more, the psychological torture is so bad, I go to bed at nights feeling like worms are crawling under my skin and I want to scratch my skin off.
[edit on 5/17/2009 by kinglizard]