My 12 year old daughter attends Public School. I made this choice long ago with her mother because although we knew it would not foster her education, we were willing to take that burden upon ourselves to provide for our daughter's education personally, but we chose Public School over the alternatives to ensure her indoctrination into those subtle social hierarchies that are to be found there so that she would be better acclimated socially.

Of course, Public Education has proven us quite right about it's inadequacies in providing even the simple basics such as Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic, although to the Public School's merit she can make a mean collage out of macaroni. That, however, is not the purpose of this post.

This year, especially I have encountered trouble of a different kind with the Public School system. I have been called repeatedly, at work, by one one of her teachers to lecture me and demand that I do her biding in my own personal life in regards to my daughter when she is not in school. The first time was her insistence that I immediately stop giving my daughter a monetary allowance. The second and third times were to demand that I stop allowing my daughter to ride Public Transit to school unsupervised.

Of course, I just bit my tongue and blew off her demands and never gave it another thought...until yesterday.

I put my daughter on the bus to go to school and immediately after school started got an irate phone call from her teacher. She initiated the conversation by yelling and calling me a "liar" and told me that since I would not comply with her insistence that my daughter not ride the public bus unattended that she was going to see that I would lose custody of my child by alerting the police, Department of Human Services/Child Protective Services, and moving to have my Child Custody Order modified.

I contacted her immediate supervisor and my calls went unanswered. I e-mailed the School District Administrator and my e-mails went unanswered. I phoned the District Administrator and his receptionist told me that they are unable to comment on pending and on-going legal investigations.

Now, first of all...I checked and the laws in my State say that a child over the age of 8 may ride public transportation unsupervised. Secondly, there were at least a dozen other school children on that bus that were riding unattended. Third of all, this isn't a town full of crime, being that the small population knows each other and the only murder we have had in 28 years was a justifiable homicide (he was not convicted by a jury of his peers for murder) and one kidnapping in that time that turned out to be a run-away teenager rather than a kidnapping. So, I can't see how I did something criminally wrong or neglectful to the welfare and well-being of my 12 year old child.

I still wouldn't worry if it weren't for the fact that DHS/CPS in our state is renown for violating the civil rights of parents, removing children from parents who are lesbian or gay or have non-christian religious beliefs, while allowing drug offenders to keep their children. I fear that having the law on my side is of little relevance to DHS/CPS.

Anyone have any suggestions of what I should do?

However, the bigger question is since when did the Public School System get the authority to dictate to parents how they should parent outside of when their child is in school? I'm certainly going to hesitate and think twice before blowing off their repeat requests that I take away video games and movies (or worse yet, model rockets and chemistry kits - both of which are now restricted by Department of Homeland Security post-9/11 for being threats to National Security) from my daughter. What do I do when they tell me that the material she is reading is inappropriate (they already tell me that...because John Steinbeck, J.R.R. Tolkien, Neil Gaiman, Umberto Eco, Alduous Huxley and the like are "inappropriate" somehow)?

Our school has kindergarden 2 full days a week, my oldest goes for a full eight hours of school on tuesdays and thursdays. I have had issues with our school in that the kindergarden teacher told my daughter that she shouldn't eat the cookies that I packed as the desert in her lunch (aluminium water bottle full of RO water from home, sandwhich, 2 cookies made at home, 1 cheese stick, 1 apple) and that they would kill her because "junk food is death". She also told my daughter that because we have 4 kids we were part of the world problem and that no one should be allowe dto have more than 1 or 2 children per couple. She came home completely upset thinking that she was going to have to give away two of her younger siblings.

I went to the school the next day to talk to the principal and while waiting in the office a teacher and the teacher aid who works in my daughters class where talking loudly about how the real problem in the school is all the native children (actually they used a very derogatory slang term for native americans) and half breeds. While i'm certainly not native, my wife is 1/16 cree, but you can't tell. I was offended, my daughters best friends almost all fall into one of those two 'categories' the teacher used. I complained about it and was told that the principal would look into it.

I'm seriously thinking of home schooling the kids rather than let them continue on in that mess.

This is harrassment pure and simple. I would document each time you called and what time you called and who you were trying to reach.
If this was a solid act of neglecting your child then someone besides the teacher would be available to speak with you. This is your leverage to start and because they are not answering your calls then you are being harrassed.

You may have to take legal measures of your own.

Call your local school board. Schedule a meeting with her teachers, a principal or vice-principal, someone from the juvenile court system and social services.
If requested properly and justifiable (which I feel your case is indeed) this meeting will have to take place.
I have done this very same thing.....with great success. I opened the meeting by saying that I am certain that the parent/teachers lines have been crossed. I had documentation, printed materials from my state's school legislation, letters from previous teachers..etc. Go in armed to the hilt!!
It is your right as a tax paying parent to do so.
I did not take my son to this meeting though. His duty is done..as in going to school and giving it his all.
Remember...they OWE you a decent and just education for your child. Your part is done..by paying your taxes and ensuring that your child is in school.
Do not be intimidated by any of these people. The head of the juvenile courts thanked me both verbally and written for actually going through with this to the nth degree.
There was not much communication from his teachers in question; however, my son and I were given the due respect owed us by those from all factions in attendance.

Make a couple of phone calls. Research your state's school legislature and print out all bills, codes etc. This is a big deal....make it so!!!
Set up this meeting asap......and good luck.

Peace...

This is exactly the reason I will never have kids. Because its only going to get worse.

Soon the parents will be FORCED to listen to government "suggestions" about their childs well-being. Teachers have NO right to do anything other then teach. Thats all.

Children are no longer allowed to be children. They are growing up to be these coddled and sheltered shells of a person that have NO idea what the real world is like. When these kids reach the real world, its as if an atomic bomb went off in their head. They realize how hard, cruel, and unforgiving this world is and so they end up in a massive depression.

Kids are forbidden to be kids any more. They no longer have a childhood. What ever happened to coming home with bruises and a giant smile on your face? Sometimes our best memories are the ones that were painful.

Grrr. It gets me so mad. And then something like THIS comes along.

NOBODY should have ANY say in raising a child other then the parents. Get the government out of our damn lives!

The more children are taught to listen to other people then their parents, gives way for a very complacent, impressionable society in the eyes of the government. They want a nation of zombies that will bow to their every word. NEVER will I raise a child if it means the government has more say in parenting then the parent. And sadly, thats the way its been going the last few years.

This stuff is all too common. When I was in High school my main focus was to get out without causing too much of a scene so I could get on to College. When I reached college I realized that I was in no way prepared to undertake most of the courses in the Degree plan I had chosen to follow.

Right now I'm a Sophomore pursuing a degree in Electrical Engineering and I'm struggling to keep my GPA up above a 3.0. I had no study skills, I did not understand the concept of actually understanding the material instead of simply memorizing it. Only in this past semester of Calculus II did it click that math took logical skills instead of hard memorization. My point being that Public education is a tremendous failure.

As for my brother, he ended up being pulled out of school by my mother after several attempts by the school to put him into counseling, put him on drugs etc. . Finally one day after the principal had asked him to step into his office and my brother simply said "No" and walked away they had threatened to call the police on him and have him arrested.

Get 'em while their young!

My heart goes out to you, CPS doesn't play fair. Sounds like the teacher's on a power trip. I'd get my child out of there fast.

In many states the schools don't bus the kids unless they live more than a few miles away from the school.
My kids chose to take public transportation rather than walk two and a half miles. I would think the school would be praising you for teaching your child life skills (learning to use public transportation isn't easy.)

Does the teacher feel it would be safer for your child to walk alone the entire way?

Oddly enough, it's teacher's like the one you speak of in the OP (among myriad other issues) that prompted my wife to quit the public school system. She now teaches for a "cyber school" and loves it!

I truly hope this option is a valid one for your young pupil, I would be happy to provide information on the school she works for, and if they have a branch in your state if you like. She just told me that there is most likely at least one or two options in every state.

Hopefully, help is just a U2U away...

Good luck!

Well an update on the situation...

The School District Administrator was delaying speaking to me as he was frantically busy trying to meet with the teacher and school principal to get all of his facts before having to converse with me.

He was entirely apologetic and admitted that the teacher overstepped their bounds, and assured me that the teacher approaching DHS or taking part in any actions regarding the placement of the child would only be in clear situations of Child Abuse or Criminal Neglect, neither of which were applicable in this instance.

Through the faltering of his voice you could tell that he was scared. Between apologies he assured me that the teacher would be coached on teacher-parent relations and that the principal of that school has had to coach her on two previous occasions (I guess "coaching" is the Politically Correct term for "reprimand" these days?) and that all future communications regarding my child will be through the school principal himself rather than through the teacher to ensure that boundaries into personal affairs will not be breached.

(He actually volunteered the information about her being coached on two previous occasions after I mentioned that this wasn't the first time this has happened with this specific teacher, and that she has even called me to demand that I not allow my child to eat meat and enforce a vegetarian lifestyle on my child. He nervously laughed and said that wasn't the first time he has heard that about this particular teacher.)

He specifically thanked me for coming to him to express my concerns in a written e-mail rather than venting vocally to the teacher directly. He stated that most people, when confronted with the issues that the teacher had wrongfully expressed, would not have been so clear headed to do as such. (He did ask that I try to understand the stress that teachers face not only in the classroom, but from the administration, as well as budget cuts and layoffs, and that they don't really need any additional stress from angry parents yelling at them, even if they were in the wrong.) He insisted that if I encounter any problems with any of her teachers next year to do the same and he will immediately look into it and take appropriate measures to resolve the situation.

So, all is well that ends well I suppose.

Thank you everyone for your advice and words of encouragement. Teachers aren't always in the right, and it's important to stand your ground and call them on it when they overstep their bounds.

[edit on 27-5-2009 by fraterormus]

Good for you..!! Must make you feel a little better indeed. And the school year is almost over. He..he..
On to next year!!

Now send this to your local school board and prevent it from happening again.
Send your first and last posts!!
Print them out and mail them in.
Sign them proudly and parentally.

Not all teachers are like this; and in my opinion, no one who behaves as this one does, should be even allowed to be a teacher.

Enjoy the summer with your daughter..

Peace...

Wow, what a mess that is. The woman sounds psychotic. Back in the day I was taking city transit for junior highschool by age 11, not to mention that we took unsupervised bus rides since we were about 8, even from one province to another (Que to Ont). My kids lived close enough to walk but the city transit here is safe enough to take if they had to.

If I were you, I would get an attourney (legal aid if necessary) anyways to have your child moved out of that class and with another teacher without any drama. I would ask for an apology in writing (from her and the administrator) so you have proof of this harassment in case something comes up later.

Hoping you are ok now though. What stress that must have been.

[edit on 27-5-2009 by suzque66]

Wow, I love how educators have this "high and mighty" side to them. They think they have all the answers and can do whatever they want with our children.

I would not worry about it too much, she'd have to prove that you are actually endangering the child in order for Child Services to stick their nose in it.

If she's complaining simply on the fact that she's taking the public transport un-supervised, there is nothing they can do, as the law states that any child over 8 may take it alone.

Since your city is relatively crime free and close nit, that leaves no room for her argument to be valid.

I would speak to the school board and harass any and all of her supervisors, this teacher should be removed.

~Keeper

Wow, just wow.

So, she's going to get another "coaching"...

Doesn't sound like here previous "coaching" sessions accomplished much. This teacher doesn't need coaching, she needs to be fired. She's obviously not fit for the position she commands.

Your situation likely arose out of a sense of "retribution" against one of her previous "coaching" sessions. Each time she's "coached", it strikes a blow to her ego, and she'll go searching to pump it back up by admonishing another parent, simply to quench her thirst for power. Sounds to me like this person became a teacher so she could be viewed as an authority figure by the only people she does not feel "below" on her own little scale of social hierarchy, children. By virtue of your relation to your child, she feels that somehow you are supposed to recognize her authority over you as well.

Were I you, my life would now be devoted to raking this teacher over a hot bed of coals until she finally decided to move to Baghdad or Tehran to get away from me.

Two years ago, several parents, myself included became aware of some inappropriate goings on in my daughters classroom. I, along with several other parents, actually sat in on the class, all day, video camera rolling. The teacher resigned after being asked by several of the students why she was acting so differently with parents in the room.

Like any sector, the educational system is going to have loonies. Just remember that there are many, many good people, who become teachers because they love kids, and have much to teach.

Originally posted by Unit541
Wow, just wow. So, she's going to get another "coaching"...

Doesn't sound like here previous "coaching" sessions accomplished much. This teacher doesn't need coaching, she needs to be fired. She's obviously not fit for the position she commands.

Your situation likely arose out of a sense of "retribution" against one of her previous "coaching" sessions. Each time she's "coached", it strikes a blow to her ego, and she'll go searching to pump it back up by admonishing another parent, simply to quench her thirst for power. Sounds to me like this person became a teacher so she could be viewed as an authority figure by the only people she does not feel "below" on her own little scale of social hierarchy, children. By virtue of your relation to your child, she feels that somehow you are supposed to recognize her authority over you as well.

Unit541, you are absolutely correct in your assessment of the situation, I regret to say.

Immediately after receiving her "coaching" session by her supervisor, she abused her State powers of Mandatory Reporting to file a report with DHS: Child Welfare Program in retaliation. Based on no other findings other than this teacher's testimony, DHS is now filing "Criminal Neglect" charges against me and moving to have my custodial rights of my daughter removed.

She has proven that she will use the system and her State appointed powers as a tool for committing harassment.

At this point, I've had to resort to playing hardball.

In my following posts are copies of the letters I have sent to the School Administration and to DHS.

[edit on 12-6-2009 by fraterormus]