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Dale's gone and left ya again

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posted on May, 11 2009 @ 11:58 PM
"I'm through with you woman, it's over BETWEEN US!!!!, .....I'm leaving this place and never looking back GOOD RIDDANCE!!!" Dale exclaims

"Nuuuhhh, Nuuuhhh, Nuuuhhhhh,...uuuhhhh, don't leave me"....Tina sobs. She holds on to his ankles as he walks through the front door scraping her body against the threshold, ripping another strap off her dingy dress slip.

"Get away from me you wench", he gives her a good kick with his free leg. She rolls down the hill of crab grass picking up loose weeds and plopping into a fresh puddle of mud.

Dale hops into his 1987 Toyota minivan and cranks it up. "YOU'VE GOT THE BEHHSSSST OF BOTH WORLDS...", the music blares. "Your little devil rats have been in my ride again woman, " he punches the eject button and throws the cassette at Tina's head. "Tell your momma to shove that pee bucket up her nighty" Dale looks in the rear view mirror and takes his hat off. He pulls the oily blue rubber band off of his ponytail throwing his greasy silver hair over his shoulder.

Tina watches as her lover speeds off through the discolored trailer park. The neighbors watch and shake their heads.

A concerned friend walks over to Tina and helps her up. "He won the lottery again didn't he"... the friend asks.

"Yes"...Tina says, spitting out globs of mud and still sobbing.

"How much this time"...

"$1, a free quick pick"... Tina sobs....

[edit on 12-5-2009 by OrangeJuice]

posted on May, 11 2009 @ 11:59 PM
Just thought I'd write something quick for fun,

maybe I'll add more, who knows? Dale may turn up somewhere wicked in the near future ....

posted on May, 12 2009 @ 02:27 AM
lol well that cheered me up!!

sorry for the 3 linner


Poor tina lol

posted on May, 12 2009 @ 12:20 PM
reply to post by symmetricAvenger

THANK YOU symms!!!

I enjoy cheering people up, and this story crossed my mind a few hours before I posted it here.

Dale is just an average guy from a small town with small town values. He's unemployed and lives with Tina, Tina's eight kids, and Tina's mom who is morbidly obese so she has to use a pee bucket or she'll break the toilet when she sits on it.

maybe Dale is an unemployed assistant plumber?

I'm not quite sure what he does yet, but this story could get interesting

posted on May, 12 2009 @ 06:52 PM
reply to post by OrangeJuice


omg crackin me up

hey can you do a short story thing??? would love to read it : ))

deffo funny stuff

Dale n tina wooo hooo!! hehe

hey i think tina should win the lotto tho
n dale goes love nuts over it or something lol

posted on May, 13 2009 @ 12:26 AM

Originally posted by symmetricAvenger
reply to post by OrangeJuice

hey can you do a short story thing??? would love to read it : ))
Dale n tina wooo hooo!! hehe

I agree. We need another installment.

What happens next? I wanna know.

We know Dale now. Whatabout Tina? Is she hot?

How much longer can these two stay alive on this planet, living off lotto dollars? Seems to me that fate is a bit too kind to these people.

posted on May, 13 2009 @ 01:42 AM
"Hot Dog I've got me a Trifecta"..Dale has his mind set on a Chrome Magnum from Kwon Chans pawn shop. He's been eye balling this work of art since 72' and now he has the money, gas, and correct tire pressure to get it.

"Hello, how can I help you today," Chan says.

"Let me take a look at that mag you got there Chan, and show me something else worth buying,", Dale says. Chan opens the utility room as Dale catches a glimpse of Sun Kim, the Oriental flower maiden from China. Dale thinks about leaving town with a new bride...he strikes up a conversation

"I bet you kept the China boys off of you with that GUHN didn't ya".. Dale places his hands on the counter.

"We do not have the right to bear arms in China"..

"I don't see what all the fuss about Tank Tops is over there, you all make most of the fruit of the looms anyhow"..Dale smiles and looks over Kims figure. She decides this customer can not possibly be helped by her or her father so she makes a whispering suggestion in Chan's ear.

"Aw yes Mr. Dale sir, here we have a fresh new exotic arrival from out west" Chan takes a red velvet cover off of a mid size glass case the initials MS were scratched into the side.....


The boys give the enormous piles of fat one last slide before heading out the door. Tina's friend helps her into the 20ft x 9ft aluminum trailer stepping over broken Christmas lights and weather stripped garland.

"Why do you let him come back Tina?"...

"He payed my way into DollyWorld back in 87' when he bought his toyota....I'm just returning the favor..(sniff, sniff)" Tina says....

posted on May, 13 2009 @ 01:53 AM
What on Earth is Chan trying to sell Dale?

I can only imagine...?? More tales coming soon!!

posted on May, 13 2009 @ 04:43 AM
reply to post by OrangeJuice what an imagination! now if dale and tina had it All the story would become dull and ordinary like every other love story but this is real life. although, LOL, i don't know why tina keeps taking dale back. hmm...that readers can relate to something like that, us woman can be so dumb at times, and men? gosh i love them "hawgs", can't live without them
dale is just a pig, he has a long way to go to become a genuine hog. send them in the future for another story, maybe dale became a hog and was really horrible. hey if he didn't want that china girl i could have tolerated the pig

posted on May, 13 2009 @ 04:48 AM
reply to post by OrangeJuice i know what it was. MS, moonshine. how could i have not seen that coming, living here in the appalachia

posted on May, 13 2009 @ 06:06 AM
reply to post by echodogene

Hello echo!!!

The short story forum is a land of magical wonders.

Chan is trying to sell Dale a monster from the member MountainStars closet.

what will happen.....

posted on May, 13 2009 @ 09:39 AM
reply to post by OrangeJuice ah, so he may turn into a vampiror a bloodsucking monster? don't let him hurt the g-kids, i'll be waiting to hear "the rest of the story".


posted on May, 14 2009 @ 05:08 PM
"Welcome to the Antique County Street Show we have a Ms. Glenn Maynar with us now, How are you Dear", ...

"I'm just Fine Pete,"Glenn says...... "Glenn is 84 years old and she has brought us a 17th century Dutch Musket used by her Great GrandFather Colonel Harley in the 1865 battle of Aiken, SC and may I say it's in excellent condition Glenn"..."Thank You Pete"...

"Now let me take a gander at this spectacular machine and give you a fair assessment of it's true value........Yes....Oh Yes...Glenn, my dear this instrument is estimated at...WOW... a whopping $505,000.00"...

"Oh my Gosh"...Ms. Maynar places her hand over her mouth,..."Mam my managers would like to speak with you after our next guest if you don't mind selling this Historic Relic"..."I don't mind at all Pete"...Glenn says

"Well step right over here to my left Mam....and we have with us now a Dale,...I'm sorry they didn't get your last name...what is it sir?"

..."Eubanks"..... "We have a Dale Eubanks from Smyrna is that correct?...."Yes".....and sir what would you like the Antiques County Street Show to review today?" Pete reaches a hand out to grab the case, his reflexes give him a jolt backwards....."OK....Alright.....hold on mam..... uh, Mr.Eubanks what exactly is that?..NO MAM!!!, you can stay right there every thing's under control..... ....No he will not, he's not going to hurt you Ms. Maynar just stand by my side"....

"....OK, I'm gonna have to get some assistance, ...Yes, Thank You Jim, I need you to hold this end for me...mmm hmm..." Pete slowly lifts the glass top off the case, a blue tint began to overshadow the creatures brown leather skin.....Pete "GASPS!!!". Ms.Maynar points the musket at the creature. Dale grabs his magnum.


Four State Troopers and a Fire Truck arrive on the scene in minutes. Rumors start to spread through the crowd. A note of resuscitation was scribbled underneath the odd blue creature a small green energy pill lay in its mouth.

Tina scrapes her 'Dale's #1 Lot Lizard' sticker from off the fridge. "I guess I'm finally #2 now"(sniff,sniff) ....she walks down the hall and squeezes past her ma. Tina stares at the empty top bunk where Dale slept peacefully that morning,.."Why me".. .. she turns her black and white toshiba to channel 2..the antique county street show is on.....

posted on May, 14 2009 @ 07:12 PM
Dale didn't make it everyone,

He was flown to the Medical College of Georgia and pronounced dead from a Musket wound at 8:48 pm. His body will be layed to rest at the FEMA cemetary and refuge trailer park complex in Smyrna, GA.

Tina, got a ride to the Medical facility and recovered her lovers remains....

The creature turned out to be a famous magician, his first name is David the authorities do not know if he turned himself into a creature or someone else...a note was left under his body with the initials CA..MF..LVNV signed at the bottom and this video.

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