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I've stopped having the will to live.

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posted on May, 10 2009 @ 12:36 PM
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reply to post by wylekat
 


I'm not answering any more posts, unless it's how to just make my peace when the time comes without whining and sniveling.

Why not start now? Why wait until you're dying?

I, too, seem to have a little black cloud that follows me around and foils my best efforts. I take it in stride and laugh it off. Other people seem to be able to fall in a pile of manure and come out smelling like roses whereas I can fall in a pile of roses and come out smelling like manure.

Luck of the draw, man. Look at what you DO have. Not at what you don't have. Look at what you ARE able to do, not at your limitations. Instead of saying you "failed" at all your attempts at this or that, why not say you found another way to get around the problem?

Kind of like a maze. Not, it's not this way. I'll turn around and try another way.

You have innate value independent of your perceived value to others. If they don't see your value then why do you care about their opinion? Don't let others define your worth.


[edit on 10-5-2009 by whitewave]




posted on May, 10 2009 @ 05:11 PM
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So...75% of women are money-grubbing huh? Where precisely did this little gem come from?

OP...if you care (probably don't) what I think it is this...

You are are too inwardly focused. You're on disability, you are single, no kids. Ok...alot of people are. And alot of those people live in this retched community. Alot of those people also have their little black cloud that follows every single day. My question is, why are those people not in the same situation? Outward focus. I am not making fun of you either. The only thing I loathe is your view on women. Otherwise I think your issue here is that you are highly self-centered. You focus on me me me and all the issues I go with. I recommend (and I truly mean this) volunteering at a different shelter. A human one with destitute people who have no money, homes, jobs or anything else except the clothes on their back. Feed them, talk to them and find out your life isn't nearly as bad as many others.

You have issues, I would hope nobody here would try to deny that but there is so much worse that can happen. There are indeed plenty of women out there but let me ask you this, are you going to be able to hold a woman's heart with the attitude you have now? Not gonna be easy.

I would try looking outside yourself for a little while and see where it takes you. It may fail, I can admit that but at least you fought for something, now your life has taken a bit more meaning.

-Kyo



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 06:40 PM
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Have you made your will yet? That is a very important first step to being at peace before you die.

Making peace with yourself is very important too. If you do that, you might start to see you own value as a being.

Once you've done that you might find some merit in the way you live your life.

Then if and when death comes you can go with a smile on your face.

I learned recently that my best friend has a heart condition, although not anywhere near elderly he will require a pacemaker. His heart stops when he sleeps, sometimes.

How I wish I could take on this condition for him. It would give me a legitimate way out and I'd have someone left to look after my dog.

It would be so much easier to live with if it was me with the problem. It's hard when you think you could be staring someone else's death in the face every day.

Please, if you can, stop thinking about it. Give yourself a break - I wish I could.



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 08:48 PM
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If you want to die without heroic action by doctors to prolong your life you need a living will. Some call it a DNR.

If you do not want to go to a doctor you do not have to.

If you do go to a doctor and he/she finds something wrong with you, you can refuse treatment.

If you are over 21 years old you can die from a disease or an accident if you so choose. You will not be forced to accept treatment.

I bet those soldiers that died in Iraq would love to have been given the chance to live your miserable life instead of dieing.



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 10:05 PM
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I've seen doctors ignore DNR's made by patients. If the family says they want everything done, it will be done despite a DNR by the patient. If you want serious protection of your medical decisions, you need a medical power of attorney. Someone who'll say, "touch him and I'll sue your a$$!". They won't ignore that even if the family objects. Please don't make a family member your medical power of attorney.

Living wills will let the health care provider know exactly what sort of treatment you'd be willing to accept (IV medicine but no feeding tubes, etc.) but a medical power of attorney can do the same thing and it will be guaranteed.



posted on May, 11 2009 @ 01:36 AM
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I realize you do not intend to commit suicide, but as someone who survived a suicide attempt, I would ask you to please read on.

As I spiraled down eight years ago, I was given much of the same advice you have been in many of the replies I just read. i understand what it is like to be told to pull yourself up by your bootstraps when you no longer have feet. I had always been labeled as "extremely emotional" and this became more and more extreme as the years went by, until finally on a severe downswing, I saw no reason to live whatsoever.

My suicide attempt left me with two things: a frail heart and a correct diagnosis for an illness I had no idea I had. I have a biological chemical imbalance, no different in it's organic nature than diabetes, hypo thyroid, hormonal imbalances or any other biologically based disease. I am bipolar.

I am not suggesting you have my disease, but organic depression due to chemical imbalances in the brain is very real as well. I am alive and basically content with my life because the medications I take keep me emotionally balanced by correcting a biological defect I was born with.

If you are willing, get a recommendation and see a psychiatrist or even a general practitioner and try an anti-depressant. If the first one doesn't work after 4 to 6 weeks, try another. At this point what do you have to loose? If you have tried them before to no avail, try again. Many advances have been made in the field and new medications are available. As for "talk therapy", for some it is helpful, for me it was only marginally so, because it is not possible to talk oneself out of a chemical imbalance.

While many deride the benefits of conventional western medicine and prescription drugs, I am grateful to be alive today, and without proper diagnosis and medications I would not be.



posted on May, 11 2009 @ 08:12 AM
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Originally posted by Somebodyelse7
I'm a women and i find your statement of 'Women hate someone who doesn't throw money at them hourly' rather offensive, maybe your just looking at the wrong kind of women because i for one am not like that.

As for your will to live i can relate to that. I just take each day as it comes few things matter to me. However those things that do make it worthwhile, find yourself more of a drive, get a hobby, go on holiday anything that might make this dull little world seem more worthwhile.



[edit on 10-5-2009 by Somebodyelse7]

[edit on 10-5-2009 by Somebodyelse7]


My bad was suppose to be a edit not reply. Feel free to delete and sorry again


[edit on 11-5-2009 by Somebodyelse7]



posted on May, 11 2009 @ 09:38 AM
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reply to post by wylekat
 

The best advice is: "never take advice". Info, yes....what you "could" do instead of what you "should" do.

Maybe now you're on a "don't care" trip, things might change and you'll discover just how easy it is to have FUN without all the crap shadowing over you.

The less we care, the less we think about consequenses, the less we do that, the easier things become.

As long as you don't hurt anyone on your journey, the view can be good.

And I know what you mean about women and money but perhaps if you add "attention, love, care" and just about every other human "want" to that statement, it doesn't quite ring true. And it works both ways too.

Any rich women out there seeking something special?

Good luck wylekat, eat it while it's hot!

[edit on 11/5/2009 by nerbot]



posted on May, 11 2009 @ 10:57 AM
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reply to post by wylekat
 




Once more, from the top. I am NOT going to commit suicide. I'm still going to eat, sleep, and breathe- But if I am diagnosed with something nasty, I'm going to just let it happen- and not fight it.


At least you have an option whether you desire treatment or not.
There's 46 million Americans who do not have any kind of health
insurance. What are they suppose to do? Leave their family members will excessive amount of medical bills or crawl in a hole and die. I'm not talking deadbeats here. These are people for some reason or another can not afford medical insurance. Many do have serious health problems, but can't even gets meds to relieve the symptoms or stop the pain. Too bad you can't donate your insurance to someone who has the will to live and will become a productive person in society. This may sound harsh, but be thankful for something you have while others don't even have a choice.

You're wrong about all women too. Stand back and take a good look at yourself in the mirror.

voicefortheuninsured.org...



posted on May, 11 2009 @ 01:22 PM
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reply to post by wylekat
 


Things may look bleak, but they do have a way of getting better. I noticed you stated you do not have a family. One thing to do is to find a support group to help you get out of your depression. If you are a veteran, there are many veterans' groups out there. If not, try to contact a church or the local senior citizens' group. Although you are probably not a senior citizen, the people who work there may be able to direct you to an agency as they also work with the handicapped/disabled.

Charity is also a great place to meet people, and there are many soup/food pantries and other places that need volunteers. Also, the animal shelters are always looking for someone to volunteer to help with the critters.

While you state you do not want to commit suicide, you seem to not want to live your life. It may not be the best right now, but take it from someone who was there that it will get better. The biggest obstacle is setting aside stupid pride and making the calls to ask for help or guidance. Once I did that, my life has improved much for the better. Sometimes it helps to just talk to people in the same boat.

Good luck on your getting help for where you need to be in life.



posted on May, 13 2009 @ 08:59 AM
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reply to post by berenike
 


I would, but I have nothing to will. No money, no objects of value, the Govt will take my car when I croak anyways.. Everything I own is worthless in a cash or even sentimental sense. Basically, someone can come in, sell my crap, and flush me down the toilet. I'll be dead, so what will I care?



posted on May, 13 2009 @ 09:09 AM
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reply to post by wylekat
 


I so wish I could help you - if I ever saw you up a dark alley I'd give you such a good shaking


Have you ever been interested in philosophy or religion? I'm wondering whether Buddhism might help you. Part of their philosophy is non-attachment, you might find your lack of attachment to material things was an asset. Just teasing a little bit - seriously I think it would be to your benefit to read up on it.

I've posted some more pictures of my dog in my ATS media thingy - they might cheer you up.

Little mutt nearly killed me last night, I took him out for his last 'wee' and he pulled me down a very steep slope. I was bent over at the time, trying to pull him back and he shot off and so did I, head first. Luckily for me it was very dark so I couldn't see what I was falling through, and I avoided the nettles. Glad to have survived it, but I'd lend him to you if we lived any closer to each other



posted on May, 13 2009 @ 10:46 AM
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reply to post by berenike
 


Ooooh... Religion is a very large thorn in my side. I've been abused by organized religion to the point where if it was down to me croaking, or everyone who has trashed me for the sake of 'God'- they can go first. I have seen crap that would turn anyone away- and probably make them want to actually kill themselves. The bigotry, the hate, the hypocrisy, back stabbing, lies, theft, ridicule... the list goes on for quite a ways. :bnghd:

No thank you, no religion for me.

As for the doggie- sounds like someone saw a small furry animal. I've had dogs do that to me, too. Including a 250 lb St. Bernard. I have a couple cats, myself. Every place I have lived has been 'no dogs'.



posted on May, 13 2009 @ 01:06 PM
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strange thread !!!

My opinion:

God gave you your life, and he will take it away when the time is right.
Nobody at earth can change that..

and!!!!

PLEASE!!! Go out and enjoy your life. With cancer or not.. Still look that you can enjoy it.
World is so beautifull, you shouldnt miss it !!

friendly

Nia



posted on May, 13 2009 @ 01:08 PM
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reply to post by NW111
 


Well if one commits suicide I would say that person is changing the plan

not saying OP is...just saying

-Kyo



posted on May, 13 2009 @ 01:16 PM
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reply to post by wylekat
 


I'm not one for organised religion either - heathen here
But I do love the Buddhist philosophy.

I've been trying to imagine you being dragged along by a St Bernard at full pelt and it does conjure up quite a picture.

Maybe we should put all our dog/animal mishaps together and see if we can get a cartoon strip out of it. I always insist on a halo if you do a caricature of me


I've been thinking about your former employer and the daughter from Hell - Putz and Patsy - must be fertile ground for a satire. Did you give it any thought?



posted on May, 13 2009 @ 02:35 PM
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reply to post by KyoZero
 


its not simple a "changing the plan".

Your soul walk a way. Called life. And there we have to learn and teach. If we broke that circle, your soul cant manage it.
NEVER
so the soul breaks and "Eternity life" is gone.
guess those who make it (suicide), still dont want to have a eternity life..,also not the op (as i hope)..

Nia



posted on May, 13 2009 @ 02:43 PM
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reply to post by Somebodyelse7
 



you selfish insensitive bleep. Why can't you swallow your bleeping pride and look at the big bleeping picture? Including all you bleepers that starred this. Sometimes the truth hurts. waaa waa waaa while this guy is spilling his guts about killing himself you should be ashamed.



posted on May, 13 2009 @ 02:47 PM
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reply to post by wylekat
 



Hey man i've been there really recently. A man in your position who shows strength is an that any PERSON can look at and feel proud of and try to emulate. My thoughts are with you.



posted on May, 13 2009 @ 03:57 PM
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reply to post by wylekat
 




I would, but I have nothing to will. No money, no objects of value, the Govt will take my car when I croak anyways.. Everything I own is worthless in a cash or even sentimental sense. Basically, someone can come in, sell my crap, and flush me down the toilet. I'll be dead, so what will I care?


You were probably referring to my post wylekat. We were all put on Earth for a Reason, a Specific purpose. I'm not religious, but I believe there is a Great Spirit we will all have to answer to. It's not objects of value that matter, it's you! You are a living breathing human being capable of giving love and hope to others in worse shape. I've seen so many elderly people in nursing homes who do not have anyone. Sometimes just holding their hand in silence helps their spirit. I've won tons of stuffed toys from grocery stores claw machines. They were all donated to the childrens cancer unit in Las Vegas. It really made me feel good to see their little faces smile. None of us get to take our cars to the otherside, no matter how rich you are. You have much to offer, if you want to. Maybe you could volunteer in a school in your area to help a child learn to read. With all the cutbacks now days I'm sure they need volunteers. You are very important, whether you know it or not.



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