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I've stopped having the will to live.

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posted on May, 10 2009 @ 08:27 AM
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A friend of mine this weekend mentioned something quite out of the blue: "you should go get checked for prostate cancer". My response was this:

"Why bother? I don't have much of a reason to continue living- so why put myself thru the pain, suffering, chemo, radiation, and who knows what else To keep living this absolutely "wonderful" life I am living?"

The short form: I'm single, no family, children, relatives, I am on disability because my back crapped out, Women hate someone who doesn't throw money at them hourly- so my chances for a wife are well below 0%. ANYTHING I attempt blows up, right down to keeping chickens.... I build a fence so they'd be secure, and that night, someone steals them... Crap like that happens to me all the time.

Then- we look at the state of the world...

Anyone know how I can just prepare for death without someone swearing up and down I'm going to commit suicide? Do it peacefully, quietly, and so I don't need to have the stupid 'self preservation' rear it's ugly head at the worst moments? I just am not going to fight to stay alive- I catch swine flu- I wont be dragging myself to the hospital. I do find out I have cancer, no treatments, no nothing. I'll make up a short 'bucket list' and be done with it.




posted on May, 10 2009 @ 08:29 AM
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That doesn't mean you have no reason for living! As long as I know I have made a difference on this world I am happy to die.

Maybe you should set yourself targets of what and where you want to be in your life!



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 08:31 AM
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I'm women and i find your statement of 'Women hate someone who doesn't throw money at them hourly' rather offensive, maybe your just looking at the wrong kind of women because i for one am not like that.

As for your will to live i can relate to that. I just take each day as it comes few things matter to me. However those things that do make it worthwhile, find yourself more of a drive, get a hobby, go on holiday anything that might make this dull little world seem more worthwhile.



[edit on 10-5-2009 by Somebodyelse7]

[edit on 10-5-2009 by Somebodyelse7]



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 08:36 AM
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suicide is a permanent solution to short term problems.

I know cliches and platitudes will not help you either. But dying is not a solution.

I can't say that I know how you feel, but after reading your post I feel I want to say to you, Brother give your own life meaning. Don't wait for someelse to give it to you.





posted on May, 10 2009 @ 08:46 AM
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I will be honest here.. there are only a few things i know is worth living for but being selfish about my own ego is not one of them.

Kids die in Africa and all over the world what is important is understanding you have a reason to be here.. LIFE is needed no matter what the choices you think you make

IT does not care about your own self mind or others but it does NEED you to be here..


Love is not about sex its about understanding your soul mate and being happy and willing to share your own questions with that somebody

That is what i find true happiness in.. shearing my questions

Humility helps alot

Be strong



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 08:49 AM
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reply to post by atlasastro
 


The Dude abides. Maybe try joining a bowling league would help this guy out. Go roll a few games and drinking a few brews can be life changing.

[edit on 5/10/2009 by Monteriano]

[edit on 5/10/2009 by Monteriano]

[edit on 5/10/2009 by Monteriano]

[edit on 5/10/2009 by Monteriano]



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 08:50 AM
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I'm not committing suicide, I'm just not going to prevent death. Yes- I have tried to give my life meaning... and like I said- everything has blown up in my face like a Molotov cocktail in a fireworks factory. This isn't a " I feel crummy today, boo hoo". This has been ongoing for years. That's why I also don't want anyone trying to fish me back out. I don't want another round in the boxing ring of life! I'm white, out of shape, and someone thinks it's funny to keep throwing Mike Tyson in there with lead lined gloves. Thank you, but NO thank you.



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 08:52 AM
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your reason for living is to overcome the feeling of not having a reason for living

figure it all out yourself, meditate, read a book, philosophize, self inquiry, etc



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 08:56 AM
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reply to post by Monteriano
 


Praise Dude,
I agree, sometimes the simple things can turn it around. Just don't end up like Donny in the car park.



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 08:57 AM
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reply to post by wylekat
 


and in short its called being selfish

You will die but not when u think you are going to make the choice..

Do not let your ego get in the way of your gift

You was put here for a reason... and even if its painfull that is not ITs problem thats YOURS

You are a function of the universe and when you do die you will still be a function of the universe

but you wont be asking questions

So ask some questions and stop being self petty...

it wont get you anyware and it will bring about the wrong answers

Only you have the power to change you .. dont blame the universe

you was put here.. did anything ask to be put here?/??

NO .. get a grip shake it off


Trust me im not being insulting, im trying to point out your are not alone


[edit on 10-5-2009 by symmetricAvenger]



www.abovetopsecret.com...


take the time to read that thread please


[edit on 10-5-2009 by symmetricAvenger]



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 09:04 AM
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reply to post by wylekat no amount of talking will change your mind, you have to do that yourself. put one foot in front of the other and plow on.
suppose you do have cancer? wouldn't it also be a blessing to have the time to make peace with yourself? see the good things in life? right any wrongs?
not all women are money hungry, if you find ones who are, be happy you found them so you can avoid them
all it takes is a smile, from you! if it takes more than that, give a little of yourself, platonicly speaking
 



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 09:05 AM
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Suicide is usually neither painless nor foolproof. You could give it a go and still find yourself in the world of the living and a helluva lot worse off than before.

Here's a suggestion. Get out and volunteer. A few years ago I wanted to kill myself because I had no reason to live. Then I started volunteering for a non- profit organization. I discovered what was important to me, and that I could make a difference. I also met a lot of great people who restored my faith in humanity. It seemed like a simple thing at the time, volunteering just a few hours of my time each week, but it made all the difference in the world to me. It completely changed my attitude and my life.



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 09:08 AM
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reply to post by Charis
 


thats a great idea!!!

You see you can make a difference but you have to want it


Your gift was the power to question

Use it !

that was pointed at the OP


We all ask questions my friend and some are more important than others but the fact remains

You was given the gift to do so!



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 09:09 AM
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reply to post by wylekat
 


So...
What makes you so special??
Do you think anyone in this life has had it easy.
Adversity is there so you can overcome it.
You say you are a failure.
I beg to differ.
Because of the constant struggle you are going through, you have a ton of experience.
You have undoubtedly tried things, most people don't have the balls to.
Since you have tried numerous things you probably know more about those challenges than the others around you.
Stop fighting your nature.
Your nature is to try things.
Allow it to happen.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
No one is going to take you by the hand in this life and say, "here, this is how you do it."
How do you think anything ever got invented. Trial and error my friend.
Sit down, tonight, and make a list.
#1, What do I know?
#2, What can I do?
#3, What am I good at?
#4, What do I like?
#5, What is good about me?

As an example, for me it would be,
1. I know about computers, art, science, paint, building, etc..
2. I can draw & paint, fix a computer in my sleep, remodel a house, etc.
3. I am a good artist, I am a good improviser like McGuyver, etc..
4. I love art, science, building stuff, computers and my transformer collection
5. I am generous, thoughtful, helpful, clever.

The purpose of this is simple. It puts on paper and helps you to consolidate things you may not have realized about yourself.
There is something about putting things down on paper that does wonders for your core consciousness.

And the thing about woman, my man you have it all wrong.
Ask yourself, where are you going to meet women?
That is your first mistake.
The second is thinking money is all that will attract someone.
A stable, confident attitude does much more.
Women love confidence.
So get your head out of your ass and get yourself some confidence.
If you still think you are not doing anything good for yourself, do something good for others.
Chicken soup for the soul so to speak.
Volunteer, help your friends out.
Step out of character and help a total stranger. Carry out and old ladies groceries at the store. Make useful things and just give them away. Join a volunteer group. Clean up a park.

A friend of mine once told me,
"Everything you THINK you are, be the OPPOSITE, for just one day. You will learn a lot about yourself."

Last but not least, get yourself some help. Don't rely on nameless, faceless posters on the internet.







[edit on 10/5/2009 by reticledc]



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 09:10 AM
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There is allways good in all bad things if you just look or them. be positive and live for those who can't. One sugestion, you have your sight....so enjoy the sunsets everyday for those who are blind.


ps. if you have Jesus in your life, no matter how bad it gets...it will all be good in the end.



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 09:15 AM
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From this day on forth, allow smoking and drinking into your life, embrace them as your best of friend.



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 09:20 AM
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reply to post by Charis
 


Once more, from the top. I am NOT going to commit suicide. I'm still going to eat, sleep, and breathe- But if I am diagnosed with something nasty, I'm going to just let it happen- and not fight it.

I DID work for a non profit animal shelter for several years, the people who ran the place got the crap beat out of them by city and state authorities so some rich SOB could put a condo on the property in the end. I then spent another almost year with PETA breathing down my shorts, trying to get me hung by my feet while still trying to help the people who ran the shelter. So, yes- I have tried that, fought, and I lost BIG time. Was it as bad as the people who ran the place? No. But it just was another in a string of failures so big, it wasn't funny. I even lost my soulmate- she went off and married someone else. Why? Not cute or rich enough. And before anyone points and says anything about my current state driving her off- Ummm... NO. This was one of the catalysts that started this happy little snowball's trip into hell.

I'm not answering any more posts, unless it's how to just make my peace when the time comes without whining and sniveling. I already looked up dealing with death, but it's all on how *family* members can make their 'loved ones' comfortable. There's NOTHING on how to handle this on one's own. Even dying alone is something no one really cares enough to have good comments about.



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 09:25 AM
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From your statements above, you do have something to live for. You have a friend. What about your impact on your friend? Could it be that you're here to help that person? If you were to leave prematurely, perhaps your friend won't accomplish what they're here for.

I know life is tough but I also know we have no idea of the ripple effect our lives here have on others. This post has reminded me of how I can be too self-involved at times, only thinking about myself. Thank you for that.



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 09:45 AM
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Well, I'm almost 40 and I still don't have any kids, maybe I will die being the last of me, I don't see a little me in someone else, my genes won't live on.
People who have kids never have to think this crap.

And no I don't want to consider adoption.

You are right, about 75% of women want a guy with money or something to offer external to themselves, like these guys in high school that have a car and usually a mate in the next seat.

Sometimes you feel that life has past and left you out, you fear getting old because you missed the boat while you were young, while almost everyone else is waving 'bon voyage' for the boat tour of life.

To find a reason to be happy everyday is tough, when your thoughts intrude and linger in the background.
Like a kid trying to have fun while the bully beats his fist into his palm, the bully spoils the moment.

It sucks I know, you gotta wake up everyday, bust your butt, pay bills, try hard to be happy and hope one can maintain the motivation to want to live like this for another X amount of years or just another day. I work, I rest, but not enough play. I am just another rat trying to get his piece. While the sheeple get rewarded by being sheep.

What do I do this for?

It's hard to be happy without reason, but sometimes I find a reason and the bully goes away for awhile.

I am not going to tell you how to feel better, or to go a church get together, or join a bowling team, or spin yarns at a quilting bee.
I know where you come from, you've got to deal with it.

Go to the animal shelter, get a couple of cats, that's all the cheesy advice I am giving you, you CAN be a crazy cat man! Cats are great for snapping you out of a crappy mood, they wont allow it.

Another piece of advice to give thought to, there is always someone out there way worse off than you. Those people envy you.

Desire is the root of all unhappyness.



posted on May, 10 2009 @ 09:48 AM
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reply to post by wylekat
 


OK, What if you live?
What if you don't run into some life ending disease?
Then what?
Are you just going to stagnate?
Sit @ home online all day.
You want to make peace with yourself, you say?
The first part of that is being true, to yourself.


Instead of considering yourself as "run out of luck", consider yourself lucky that you were able to survive it all.

By the way, my own view is that there is nothing wrong with allowing death to knock on your door.
Just take one hell of a vacation before you let death come in.



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