Welcome... To The Aporkalypse!

I think people have the right to panic about the "Hamdemic" but also need to remember to enjoy life and have a good time...

I made this thread for people to ease their minds and have a laugh about current affairs!

Keep jokes clean!

Swing flu is easily cured, just use oinkment.

Haha!

Apparently my mate's got Swine Flu, I think he's just telling porkies, though

[edit on 30/4/09 by blupblup]

Knock knock

Who's there

Pig

Pig Who

Pig Flu.. your dead.

It's complete hamdemonium, the aporkalypse is truly neih.
How many swine flu pigs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None.
There's no such thing as swine flu.

This lil' piggie crashed the markets
This lil' piggie stayed home (from school and work of course)
This' lil' piggie had symptoms
and this lil' piggie had none
And this lil' piggie cried "Weeeee" all the way home!
(To Mexico,after popping up to the US for the Cinco de Mayo" celebrations here next week as they are cancelled there and it's still a party as usual here so far,LOL!)

If we lose our sense of humor,"they" will surely have won.

Has, anyone else heard the thing on the radio, where Mrs. Piggy Calls Scooby, after she goes to the vet, and tells scooby to get checked for pig flu. Fin Priceless. It plays here 24.7

I met this girl who said she wanted to be filled with pork so I took off my clothes and gave her a shot of swine flu... I know that sucks...

Ya'll wanna try this new Italian specialty ...

It's called Tiramiflu.

So i think i might have got Swine Flu

I tried to call the swine flu helpline today, but all I got was crackling...

So I went to see my doctor & told him im coming out in rashers...

he said he thought I was telling porkies...

I said to him its 'snout funny about swine flu...

its so bad, its given me the trots

I'm not too nervous about pig aids but I'm still a bit worried I might have bird flu, I've been feeling peckish all day.

Sung to the tune of Tainted Love - this could be worse it started out as Painted Trough:

Sometimes I sneeze - I've got flu
Running nose, I've got a
Running nose

From the germs that you imparted to me
The germs we share
Seem to go everywhere
And I don't feel right
For I sniff and sneeze, I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you
Now I'll run from flu
This tainted pork you've given
You gave me all the germs of the flu
Wipe my nose and that's me very ill
Ohh.....aa-tishooooo
Tainted pork

Now I know I've got swine flu
Running nose, I've got a
Running nose

You don't really want to catch any more from me
To make you ill
You need someone to give you a pill
And you'll need a nasal spray
But I'm sorry, no spray for you today

Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you sneeze
I love you though you infected me so
Now I'm going to hack and cough and go
Tainted pork, tainted pork
Pass me a hankie, tainted pork
Tainted pork