Let me give Texas another throw since I live here.

Texas: You have two cows and a cowboy hat. You sell the cowboy hat to a tourist and buy a bull. You kill one of the cows and have a 62 oz. steak. The cow and bull produce many babies and you become rich. Then mother nature throws flooding, tornadoes, and hurricanes at you. You survive, rebuild and become even more rich.

Why don't you source this in the op? I've seen it before.

Me: I end up with a sickly calf. EVERYONE wants milk *now*. While I'm still trying to nurture the calf, everyone's complaining I don't milk it hard enough, fast enough, ad nauseum. After a couple years of this, I give up, eat the cow, buy some chickens, catch avian flu and die.

You forgot:

Conspiracy Theorists: You have two cows. One is an Israelian born reptilian alien illuminati board member, the other knows where Jimma Hoffa is buried and is an engineer who knows about building collapses and solar panels. They're both out to get you in some insidious yet clockwork and subtle way. They both give milk, but its genetically modified yet cures cancer and can be burnt for free energy.

Debunker: You have two cows. You claim that they are just steaks in leather jackets. People debate you but both sides have some truth. Your steaks eat grass until a paper airplane hits one cow and both fall over. you deny ever having cows.

UK: You have two cows and they're both at the pub pregnant smoking ciggies picken their arse .

US: You have two cows and they're just the firggen best, god said so.

Australia: You had two cows, BBQ already.

New Zealand: You have two cows that go baa.

China: can get you as many cows as you need.

India: "Hellooooo...I'm calling about your two cows".

Japan: Has two cows worth $million bucks each.

Kazakstan: Has two fuggly cows.

Russia: Has two, no wait three, no one, no....

France: "Who are you? You are not French? Why am I even talking to you....merde!"

Italy: Two have two cows, I get 10%.

Iraq: You have two cows, they're all over the market place.

Afghanistan: You have two cows, somwhere.....

Israel: You have two cows , and they're not fcking welcome either, nor are they getting the vote, no they can't come back, why are you always picking on us...peace.

Saudi: We have all the cows.

etc

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

All your cow are belong to us.

LOL

You sunk my battleship.

In Wisconsin,we send our cows to the U.W. and daughters to Marquette.And they're Holsteins;like Barak Obama,they're half black and half white,but why isn't the milk chocolate?

lol loved the surrealism one

thx

Love the thread, I have wanted to get another copy of this ever since the Political Science Professor at N.M. State handed it out in 81. He was the original author but don't remember his name. It was titled "What if you haven't got a Cow". The wording was slightly different but basically the same. The original was lost during moves and as time passed but I never forgot it. It wasn't copy righted so no worries there.

Thanks OP for posting it

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

The original was: BUREAUCRACY: The government has two cows. Shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain.

Nazism: You have two cows. Your neighbor shoots you and takes your cows.


[edit on 4/26/2009 by pstrron]

The opening post is plagiarized from other sites.

This is a T&C violation.

The OP has been penalized and this thread is closed (rather than trashing two pages of replies)
.

[edit on 26 Apr 09 by Gools]