This has been on the internet for yars but it never gets old, does it?
Can I add a few?
Republican-You have two cows. One of them does something stupid. Everyone unites together and destroys the offending cow.
Democrat-You have two cows. One of them does something stupid. Everyone unites together and gives the cow a second chance. Unless it's from
Reform Party-You have two cows. A strange man from Texas comes along to promote your cows using lots of big charts. Oddly, people buy the whole
show. Realizing how much support he has, he quits. After everyone loses confidence in him, he goes back to work. Both your ows are so exhausted and
confused by the whole experience, they fall over, bump into stuff, and never give milk again. As for the strange man from Texas, nobody is sure what
happened to him.
Texas-You have two cows. The repo man comes to take them since you stopped paying for them. You shoot the repo man and he dies. The other repo man
will not go near you or your cows and you never have to pay for them again. The milk is sweet in Texas.
New York-You have two cows. The repo man comes to take them since you stopped paying for them. You yell at the repo man. He pulls a gun on you.
You give up the cows but you keep yelling at him anyway. And he keeps yelling back.
San Francisco-You have two cows. You try to sell milk to a local business man but he ends up screwing you.
Playboy-You have two heffers.
You photograph them doing things to each other and tell everyone how classy the pictures are.
Hustler-You have two cows. You photograph them doing things to each other. You try to convince everyone that those two cows produced thousands of
gallons of milk during the photo shoot.
Hollywood-You have two cows and an odd looking mustache. You produce a low budget adult movie movie called "Brown chicken, brown cow." It's a hit
and the cows produce milk for the next 20 years.
CNN-You tell the media you have two cows but CNN says you have three because it makes better news.
Fox-You tell the media you have two cows. Fox issues a Fox News Alert. They also issue a Fox News Alert for the story before and after yours.
Utopia-There are now cows but there is still plenty of milk for everyone.
Roman Catholic-Holy cow!
Terrorist-You have two cows. One of them explodes. Nobody thinks it's funny.
Somalia-You have two cows. Someone steals them from you. While making his getaway, he is ambushed and killed. The second group of thieves flee with
George Bush Jr-You have two cows. They used to produce sweet milk but now it's sour and deadly.
Barrack Obama-You have two cows. You are so excited, you wouldn't be surprised if your cows grew wings and started to fly. Instead, your cows
continue to give sour milk. Reality sucks.
Perfect World-You have two cows. You sell the milk and make a little money. Then slaughter the cows and make more money. The government leaves you
alone and gives you a tax break. Then you wake up and realize you were dreaming.