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Why do some people laugh at Funerals?

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posted on Apr, 25 2009 @ 02:09 AM
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iv been to many funerary services and i almost allways end up laughing or giggeling, or become so disgusted that i flat out leave. my reason for this is simple, at these "services" they talk more about the communitys accepted or percieved accepted god then they do the deceased. and frankly thats both absurd and in bad taste. your there for the memento mori not some preachers grandstanding propaganda.

death is truely the only thing in this exsistince that can be counted on and shouldent be feared but simply accepted and understood. if you want to go all out and make the fueneral a big ceramony why dont you do a true remembrence of the human whose transistioned instead of cowering in fear at the power of a "god" to end your life .

we all die regardless or race, creed, age or faith but not everyone truely lives, remember your loved one may be gone but the effect they had on the lives of others never will as those people effect others . so embrace life and dont fear death, thanatos takes us all and in the end all that matters is what we leave the world when we go.




posted on Apr, 25 2009 @ 02:37 AM
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reply to post by mommy4life
 


Your dead on with that.
When my best friend of 10+ years died in November. Me and his closest friends got a little laugh out of nowhere. There was no disrespect intended, and his family didn't take it that way, they knew he would of found the situation hilarious too.

Are closest group of friends, the stoner circle in that neighborhood, were all pallbearers for the funeral. When we finally got to the cementary, and the priest was talking, this kid none of us liked and ragged, including my deceased friend came out of nowhere with a bunch of roses. He starts passing them down the line, we had no clue what to do with them, and he just kind of pulled them out of nowhere. So these roses start getting passed down. Well in this group of roses, was just a stem, a big ugly stem, with no flower. Everyone kinda glanced at it, and gave it to the next person. I was at the end of the line and luckily my girlfriend was within arms reach so I handed it to her without making to much of a scene.

Afterwords, everyone got a laugh at of it when we met back up, apparently the confusion on our faces was just great to watch, we had no clue what was happening.


Aside from that, I've found myself at times, when the most randomest things come up, rather than crying, I laugh about those memories, and even If I still shed a tear, the laughter is a lot better, than the grieving.

I can't speak on behalf of his family, but I do know his little brother got a few chuckles in at the wake, even though he was bawling.

P.S. Someone put a rolled blunt in his coffin, he was buried with it, but we have no clue who did it, other than that a few of us saw it at the viewing before they buried him. He had always said if he died he wanted someone to sneak a blunt in for him to cheif on. Maybe that's why his brother was laughing. Haha.



posted on Apr, 25 2009 @ 08:05 AM
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reply to post by OrangeJuice
 

That's not uncommon, it is actually a normal reaction. I've been to several funerals in thepast couple of years and someone always does it.
Remember, some people don't view death as a tragedy, it is just another part of life.



posted on Apr, 25 2009 @ 04:07 PM
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reply to post by secretagent woooman
 


If this is common then I'll have to put it in a category of healing an open wound. I say this because I think the brain is trying to treat itself for an unknown injury and only the chemicals released in laughter can heal that injury.



posted on Apr, 25 2009 @ 09:47 PM
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I laughed at the funeral of a very good friend while talking to her brother.

He reminded me of something she told me about him, that was obvious while he was talking.

It might have seemed rude to him, but it greatly brought back memories of my friend to me.

It was a beautiful moment!



posted on Apr, 25 2009 @ 10:05 PM
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Originally posted by spellbound
reply to post by OrangeJuice
 


Ever heard of nervous laughter?

Carl was under a lot of pressure and his emotions were in turmoil. As well as losing his mum, he was sitting there in public during her service.

Some people laugh, some people cry, but it is definitely not a conscious choice.

Carl, poor guy, laughed because he had lost control of his emotions.

It is like kids laughing during solemn occasions because they have been warned not to, therefore their mind dwells on it, therefore they laugh.

Laughing is close to crying. In fact, a lot of people have tears when they laugh. As love is close to hate. In other words, our extreme emotions and reactions are very close.


I agree with this post as i think it represents the OP's description best.
I myself have laughed at funerals more so when i was a child and often bit my tongue so the pain would stop the laughter [- i got used to it as i went to so many as a child. I still do this now, especially in an argument or solemn situation - i truly cannot help this. I guess there is some truth in the saying 'if i didn't laugh, i'd cry'.



posted on Apr, 25 2009 @ 10:42 PM
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Why must death be a solemn thing? Why must death be a dead serious thing? Did the society of the past tell you so and you continue the tradition? In fact different culture practice differently. In mine, we are often told not to cry or be sad in wake and I fully agree and see the meaning in it. It might be shocking, in wakes, we even play mahjong( kinda like poker). It is not that we are happy the person has die, it is that death is a natural process and there is no cause for alarm for nature happening. Life goes on maybe even for the death, but if you cry and everything, the soul might be bound by your emotion.



posted on Apr, 25 2009 @ 11:23 PM
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reply to post by clementlim
 


This is (undocumented) southern tradition to respect the dead. We remain silent while the Eulogizer reflects on the life of a deceased loved one. I do not believe Carl was laughing to disrupt this eulogy but as the preacher continued to speak he did continue to laugh.

To this day from what I can tell the laugh just happened, it was like a burst of energy that went on for a few minutes. There was nothing in that moment anyone there could have done to stop him, what authority would we have this was his mother?

Many of you here agree that laughter is in some way a part of this experience and this is what I wanted to find out. We do not discuss these things where I live so I thank all of you for sharing your stories.

and we too play mahjong



posted on Apr, 25 2009 @ 11:37 PM
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Sounds like he was just having his own service in his head where he was reliving old memories.

I told my wife and family that I want to have a funeral where they talk about the way I brought humor into most things and to laugh at some of my more embarrisng moments.

Laugh with me or at me but don't cry because or for me.



posted on Apr, 25 2009 @ 11:51 PM
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reply to post by jd140
 


I see now. You have given permission to talk, laugh, and be happy when you depart. Maybe you can tell there was no prior discussion of how to handle this situation in Carl's case.

So when everyone is quiet and reflecting on the dearly departed which is "you" a brief laugh is welcomed.



posted on Apr, 26 2009 @ 12:33 AM
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reply to post by OrangeJuice
 


I'm just saying that while in his case no discussion had occured, he might have been in his own little world reflecting on his own memories of his mother.

Maybe he thought of a dinner she had made that had gone terribly wrong and it tasted awful and his family had a big laugh.

Something of that nature.



posted on Apr, 26 2009 @ 12:42 AM
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I hope beyond all hope that people laugh at my funereal. I mean, come on, if you are there to honor me, that you'd know that I never took life too serious in which I couldn't, or wouldn't, laugh.

A funereal shouldn't be about morbid depression or despair... sure, a friend or loved one died, but do you really think that that person would want you to grieve for them?

I sure as hell wouldn't want you to. Tell a joke at my expense, talk about something embarrassing that I did. LAUGH. Enjoy the life you have.

*

Went to a funereal on my father's side a couple years ago... people were laughing and joking and enjoying themselves; it wasn't until the coffin was being lowered the next day did things become more somber. THAT'S a funereal... unlike the one I attended for a friend a couple months back; granted, he came from a very orthodox / strict catholic upbringing, but man, the tension was just so thick, no wonder people were leaving or going outside for a smoke so much.



posted on Apr, 28 2009 @ 09:41 AM
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Originally posted by spellbound
reply to post by OrangeJuice
 

Some people laugh, some people cry, but it is definitely not a conscious choice.

Carl, poor guy, laughed because he had lost control of his emotions.


It could, infact be quite the opposite. When I suffered a bereavement in my family, I consciously chose to remember all the positive things, moments and love I felt. If I remembered something funny, I laughed. And despite the pain of losing a loved one, there is always the feeling of love you had for them. For that I am happy.



posted on Apr, 28 2009 @ 03:13 PM
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Laughter releases tension and laughter also is a good thing to change emotional states.



posted on Apr, 28 2009 @ 03:23 PM
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I have always been one to react with a quirky smile or laugh at the news of something tragic happening to people that are close to me. I call it my defense mechanism. If I don't smile or laugh I would probably lose it and break down. My Mom knows this about me and even though I try my best not to respond that way when bad news is being relayed to me, I just cannot help it. I don't find anything amusing at all in what I am being told, nor is it memories of good times. I just know it's my way of dealing. Plain and simple.



posted on Apr, 28 2009 @ 03:40 PM
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I have done this.

I laughed in a burst of hysterics the very moment I was told my best friends mother was killed in an accident. It turned into a cry but I too was dumb founding. I couldn't believe I laughed. I am a very sensitive person and have empathy towards even those I don't know who experience loss or sadness. I figured that sensitivity is where it came from.

I was embarrassed afterward when I did it so I can imagine he was as well.

Your friend must have finally felt that moment of uncontrolled feelings and ironically came with a giggle of sadness.



posted on Apr, 29 2009 @ 02:46 AM
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I've laughed twice in funerals.. first time was when my grandmother on father's side died and I was 13 then. She had been a very good and generous part of my life until that, but still I just couldn't see any sadness about the fact she had passed away. I only saw it as a relief to her and that I have no 'right' to cry about it, just be happy her troubles and anxieties are over.

The most hardest part in the ceremony was to hold back the laughter as I looked at people with their reddish puffed faces who talked about her. I looked at their faces and couldn't help myself but laugh. I was a very bad kid, but gladly I survived that moment without making a scene by destroying the atmosphere.

The second time was when my boyfriends granpa died and all the people he had known but not met in about 20 years came to the funeral and gave all sorts of talks of how he was and how they knew him. That simply made me laugh that how can they speak so sadly about the situation that he's now gone and in 20 years there's not been any kind of contact whatsoever. Also saw some pore puffed up red faces and that was.. hilarious.
So I'm still a bad kid I guess.



posted on Apr, 29 2009 @ 02:52 AM
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reply to post by krill
 


Also, it is quite funny that the person who died is suddenly this perfect person - even tho you know they were also mean - just the thought makes me laugh.



posted on Apr, 29 2009 @ 03:17 AM
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reply to post by Aurorean
 


I don't believe laughing makes you a bad person. I'm just beginning to understand how the human mind works so now I ask Why do people perform in ways that I'm not used to seeing.

You can be whatever you feel the need to be, it's your life



posted on Apr, 29 2009 @ 04:07 AM
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reply to post by OrangeJuice
 


You are so right - laughing does not make you a bad person. Neither does crying.

Laughing and crying are very close, like love and hate.

Don't ever let a person lay guilt on you.



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