first post...possibly only post

Im new here, but i dont like posting a lot on the internet, i know what information can be found on the internet, how people find it, and how to best conceal it. So please forgive me if i disclose as little information about myself as possible. i probably wasnt the most careful in setting up this account, but i really havent seen anything in my search for answers that necessarily covers all the angles of my situation.

I was in the military for 1 month sometime last year. I essentially gave up, wussed out or whatever you would like to call it. I know I was a promising candidate for a successful military career, and signed a 6 year contract for cryptographic systems. In order to get this job, i needed a background check for a security clearance. This was 6 months prior to entering the military. Ever since then Ive had the feeling that im being watched. my security clearance passed, i had no trouble getting into the military, and was processed out with an ELS (entry level separation) OTH.

Since I've come back, I've had a few weird occurences that seem to me to be on the borderline of coincidence. I could just be overly paranoid.

When i lived in an apartment for about 6 months, I felt like i was being watched by a grey buick, that would leave the complex every time i exited the building. At first I assumed I just had some weird neighbors. I then moved to another place, about 25 minutes away that was a duplex house, i lived in the bottom part. After about a week of moving in, the people living above me seemed to be very scared of me for no apparent reason. At least once a week, my dogs would wake up growling very ferociously at the front window, and later, the window into my bedroom. I would lie awake sometimes trying to catch this person, but to no avail, could never see them. this would happen when the people upstairs were home and when they werent. One time my neighbors down the street mentioned to me that they saw a sketchy older male seemingly casing the house late at night driving a blue minivan. (possibly a burglar)

Since then I have moved to a house fairly secluded from neighbors, fairly far back in the woods, and the occurences with my dogs growling at the windows have reduced, but still happen, and sometimes when i go out to my car at night to grab something, i hear seemingly large objects moving in the woods running away from the house. Obviously this could be an animal, but my dogs are usually more interested in other animals than threatened by them.

During all of these occasions i have been followed on the road, most of the time by different vehicles, if i try to stop in the road or confront them they quickly evade me.
Of the ones i am able to get a glimpse of, they dont wear suits and are males.

I used to participate in nonviolent criminal activity, which the military was aware of, and i admitted to freely. I went back to this activity for 2 months while living at the duplex house. I have since stopped anything that could remotely be considered illegal, but I have been followed twice this week, and im seriously starting to get worried. I talked to one friend about it, he called it all coincidence, but i find it hard to believe. Am i coming off as crazy? Does it seem possible that I'm being followed? I have no useful information or incriminating activity that i think anyone would want.

P.S. I dont believe in aliens, please dont make that suggestion.

well then since you joined ATS what kind of sensitive information do you hold that outside entities could be interested in?

reply to post by willydaniels


I would say that unless you know something that the general public is not aware of you are probably just paranoid or perhaps feeling guilty about leaving the service, especially if you were doing things you knew to be wrong before and after.

Paranoia only occurs when you know you shouldn't be doing something and fear being found out. If you are discharged or left (not sure what it is) then you are completely free from service correct? If you were strait with them, what ever the reason, and are now free of that, then perhaps it is some thing that has been there longer?

Those are my thoughts. Hope they help and good luck.

Peace, ltru

Interesting post....don't make it your last! I would say that it is possible that if you're a cryptographic whiz, maybe you're worthwhile for Oh I dunno NSA...somebody.... Then again maybe you are being a bit paranoid...you do seem to suggest that you began feeling like you were being followed DURING the security clearance process, so maybe the very idea of having someone snooping into your past freaked you out? I know what that's like and I would be hesitant to post about it here, don't want those black helicopters flying over again, they wake up my dogs too...

[edit on 20-4-2009 by mkultraangel]

I think you should see a psychologist. Your language in posting seems both paranoid and something else that I don't have a word for. Just my two bits. Take care and don't do anything rash.

reply to post by willydaniels


Wow, it sounds like you are on the verge of losing your mind. If you can make it through this video, than you are indeed strong.

Some clips from the movie Fortress which has Christopher Lambert in it.The audio in this video is from a Daffy Duck Sega Genesis game.

Fight the urge to go insane. If you can mend and maintain, I will let you sleep at my apartment, I have a spare sofa. I mean that.

reply to post by pluckynoonez


Plucky...where did you find that. That is one of the funniest video's and oddest responses I could of ever dreamed for....WOW.

Star for you.

Peace

Ok for some reason there are no stars up there, but if I could of, I would of.

Totally bizarre and right up my alley.

Thanks again.

[edit on 20-4-2009 by letthereaderunderstand]

reply to post by willydaniels

I used to participate in nonviolent criminal activity, which the military was aware of, and i admitted to freely. I went back to this activity for 2 months while living at the duplex house.

The problem with illegal activity (IMO) is you're left always looking over your shoulder - always wondering who's out to get you - etc.
So, you might have answered your own post by providing this information.
Take care and quit the illegal crap - life's too short and no one needs to live under the thumb of paranoia.

Good Luck to You -

peace

Sounds like you're geeking to me. That's an old hippie term for being unduly paranoid.

It does not take rocket science to see that if you are back into illegal activities you could possibly be paranoid. I've been there and it isn't a good feeling.

The military would have no reason to follow you if you only spent one month with them. That is illogical.

What I wonder is why you just told the world that you are in illegal activities?

I suggest you clean up your act for a while.

No need to stop posting and visiting with us. We'll be your friends. Sometimes it's very nice to have someone to talk with.

Peace

I was following you. You just smell really good.

Ermmm....

Welcome to ATS!


I hope you're not part of some crazy military mind control experiment or something. Maybe you just have a regular old stalker with mental problems.
He mistook you for a celebrity or something.....who knows...

reply to post by pluckynoonez

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
mmmmmm
I like u coz ur weird

Sure you are observed by someone. Either some police or some detectives, but i feel it's a detective. You did not tell the whole story.
Why did you move to a house far from any neighbourhood? Not because of some lapalie. Sure, you are afraid and maybe you have some reasons to be.

at the first apartment my lease ended, and i moved to the duplex for a new job, place was closer and seemed to be a better place overall. the duplex turned out to be a #pile and stuff started breaking left and right, owner did nothing to fix it, so i moved to a house a ways away to go to school and get a degree.
I also forgot to mention that I have a friend who was also discharged from the military due to EXTREMELY bad family circumstances, who has also always been a pretty paranoid person in general, so his paranoia might have affected me as well. He believed he was being followed, but these people would try and run him off the road. His father is engaged in some serious crime, and if my friend wasnt making it all up, i would say it could be related to his fathers life.
I am not ruling out the possibility of this being all in my head, but like most people I would rather assume that its not.
My brother is also heavily involved in illegal activity and people who he should not be fooling around with, I also considered that as a reason for being followed. His illegal activity is probably due to my past
Also, before i went into the military i was an extremely mild mannered person, practically to the point of showing no emotion at all, for whatever the reason. Now that I have come back, I have almost unctrollable fits of rage, not very often, but in the year ive been back, ive had at least one a month, definitely more than in all the other years of my life. by fits of rage, i mean screaming obscenities that would make a child cry, they make my dogs scared the one time they saw it. I try to control myself, but I cant help but screaming to the top of my lungs. Ive never hit anyone, but i have thought about directing physical harm towards others. This is a MAJOR change in my personality. Usually brought on by a series of bad drivers, or losing multiple times in a row at something i normally excel at. Or by someone yelling at me. I went absolutely nuts on a guy when he pushed a cart at my car in a parking lot, to the point where he cowered in fear and began to cry. This man was 30 years old, and at least a foot and a half taller than me. I threatened his life over a shopping cart. Granted other things happened that day, and people from his social class do things like that to me a lot, He did not deserve it, and before i would have never said anything other than, its ok, its my fault for parking here.
Now that i read this, i feel more crazy than I normally do when it explaining this to other people, possibly because its all lumped together
@dizziedame
all illegal activity and association with people who engage in illegal activity stopped last november, if not before that. It was a mistake, but nothing it would have been a first offense and could easily have avoided jail time. i dont mind telling the world about the illegal activities because the military knows about the past illegal activity, and if anyone was going to do something about it, it would have been them. I only mention the stuff last year because I doubt it will ever be traced back to me. I am considering a career where a clean record is necessary, so I guess subconsciously i could still be paranoid about that.
I didnt learn any military secrets during that month, i was still in basic training. I agree about not being that much of use to them.
@letthereaderunderstand
I was discharged by the military because i chose to be. I wussed out and gave up on myself. I claimed that I was depressed to the point of suicide, something that i was told would get me out. I still dont know why i would do this, i had no true thoughts of any depression, and was probably less depressed than the majority of the people that made it through. I guess i could be feeling regretful, but i dont know how that would link to feelings of being followed?
@pluckynoonez
thanks for your support? weird stuff.



[edit on 20-4-2009 by willydaniels]

[edit on 20-4-2009 by willydaniels]

[edit on 20-4-2009 by willydaniels]

reply to post by willydaniels


You lived in apartment complexes, they are full of weird people including myself.

Who said the Buick was watching you?

And dogs bark and growl. They have insane sense of hearing. They are hearing stuff you can't.

Our dog can hear a mouse fart in the basement.

I am saying this wiht all sincerity, I am not mocking, just being helpful.

I really think you need to be evaluated by a pychiatrist. paranoia and depression can link you to several mental disorders.
My husband has bipolar disorder. he hears things all the time. Thinks every person is against him. A relative forgets to hug him and I hear the paranoia about it for days.

If you don't seek treatment, it will only get worse.

[edit on 20-4-2009 by nixie_nox]

[edit on 20-4-2009 by nixie_nox]

reply to post by nixie_nox


Im not quite sure that it was watching me specifically, but if he wasn't he sure made it seem like it to the point of my roommate pointing it out.

I honestly don't have depression. I do admit to having depression at one point in my life, but id venture to say that most if not all people have suffered from depression at some point in there lives. Paranoia on the other hand, could be a possibility.

I would only consider getting evaluated by a medical professional, preferably a psychologist as a last resort, I'm pretty firm on not using medication to fix things, even as a pain reliever.

As far as the dogs go, my retriever barks at pretty much anything, he only seriously growls, teeth showing if he truly thinks someone is at risk. I can definitely tell the difference. My husky doesn't bark at all, again, unless she thinks a dangerous situation is present.

The only mental health issue present in my family is depression, 1 of my direct family shot themself and lived, and 4 indirect family members have attempted suicide, the odds (considering my family's size) are still considerably low of inheriting a mental disorder other than depression.

My brother was paranoid like that when he left the Army so I'm not really surprised (esp. since he left just before 9/11). Your post was hauntingly similar to some of the things he said. We always just brushed it off and didn't think too much about it.

Originally posted by willydaniels
reply to post by nixie_nox

 

The only mental health issue present in my family is depression, 1 of my direct family shot themself and lived, and 4 indirect family members have attempted suicide, the odds (considering my family's size) are still considerably low of inheriting a mental disorder other than depression.

I would actually say your odds are pretty good. If one family member has had problems the ball is in your court. And whose to say others were not suffering undiagnosed. You don't have to resort to extremes to have a problem.

If there is addiction or abuse that is another indicator.

reply to post by willydaniels


if the gray car was always there and left when you came out every time,and i'm talking every time. i would think some one was watching you.
i mean that if you came home every day and they pulled up a lillte later,
and left when they saw you come out your door. dont think its cops or goverment, those guys know how to keep survaillance on some one with out them knowing, if its any thing i would say your patners in crime keepin tabs on ya.

and your right dogs bark and like too, dont growl unless they feel a threat

Hey, you didn't thank me for admitting I was following you.
I guess I'm just not as exciting as the other possibilities out there.

Ok, so anyway, my dad's side of the family has been stalked since my grandfathers young adult years, harrassed, um...my grandpa had his house blown up, my brother has received random death threats, my sister has been stalked and photographed, my aunt has had people listening in on her calls and breaking into her apartment no matter what city she's moved to, receiving weird stuff (threats, letters etc) in the mail, complete with the police taking all the evidence with smiles on their faces and words of good will, but never helping a bit...
The list goes on.

We don't know other than some involvement my grandfather had in his past. My dad had me convinced it was the freemasons for awhile, (apparently my grandfather pissed them off in town) my dad has also been in the military, my grandpa worked on naval ships for awhile, among others, but was never in the military by his own definition...lord knows, the possibilities are endless why this is happening. But I can relate.

So if you want to talk or throw some ideas around, U2U me when you get enough posts or if you're feeling terribly motivated, leave a comment on my profile page or something. Or I can give you my email.
I promise you I have nothing enlightening to share other than maybe some collaborative brainstorming and sharing the paranoia lol....but I'm here.


[edit on 20-4-2009 by phoebeflakes]

reply to post by phoebeflakes


thanks, now i know i have nothing to worry about. i know who to look out for. after i got out the terrorists left several messages on my phone which i really wasnt interested in interpreting, but thats normal for most military personell, thats some crazy stuff (not crazy as in loony crazy) about your family