Here are the last two posts I just made before jumping on this forum and coming to this thread.
Of note, before the psychotic episode I describe, I had passed out and awoke feeling as though I had just died, it felt as if an icepick were jabbed
into the back of my head, my brain felt like it was suddenly wringed like a sponge and released, I saw hellish images and had a dark encounter, I'll
not describe, but, soon after that I went downstairs to tell of my experience. Shortly thereafter, all went black. I ran a 105 degree temperature for
about a week- during which time was a complete blackout to me, I don't recall much of anything- I snapped out of it and my whole World changed.
I don't know if that counts as a fatal wound or not, but it was a severe head trauma which likely killed me and from which I revived. It's clear
the wound to the head is fatal, it doesn't say it's from gunshot.
I was going to U2U this to the poster of this thread, but, not being worried of what others may feel about what I experienced, I decided to just share
it for what it's worth.
Oh, and since, I've made my anti socio psychotic delusion available for public scrutiny on the World Wide Web, does that qualify my head trauma as
one the World sees? After all, it says the World will bear witness, it never says they'd believe what they saw (or in this case- saw by reading)
Look, it is a real event. I really did develop this psychosis in 2007 and I have been committed for it and I really was on medication for it.
Although, I am no longer taking the medicine and things have been as normal for me as they were before the episode, I still remember every detail. I
often wonder what if it wasn't an anti social psychotic delusion as the Psychiatrists have claimed? Not that it wasn't, but, what if??
If so, then the Answer to the posters' question is Yes. Since birth, vaguely aware of something, but, nothing conclusive. My first memory- and I'm
one of those rare few with memory enough to recall my own birth. That and at age 3 I read the entire King James version of the BIBLE, explaining my
interpretations as I went of what I read. I was born an identical twin, but, a sloppy turnover to the incoming doctor by the outgoing doctor late to
start his vacation, led to the other being killed by my afterbirth as the arriving doctor had no idea there were twins and did not do a DNC right
away, half was born on the table- the other half fell into the toilet. Shocking, I know. At any rate, my earliest prebirth memory before seeing the
green walls, greenish hued bright lamp in my face and the old doctor who leaned over me and the Head nun and two attending sisters (I was born at a
Catholic hospice) was the image of watching myself as a shadow walking with a larger shadow, selecting my family, before I ever saw them for the first
time after I was born, I already knew what they looked like- I knew their futures and I knew what my future was with them, but, I argued that this
time I didn't want to know who I was, I wanted to be as them- unaware, I felt that was fair somehow. I knew what my "twin" was to do and I wanted
to do it for him, since I felt it should have been my burden as oldest. He was going to suffer something or other for me. See, I could communicate
then and could convey what I meant, until I was born, then I had to wait until I knew the words to express it, which may be why, believe it or not
from my sloppy typing on sticky keys, I A+'ed every English/ Grammar/ Composition/ and Literature class I ever took. Anyhow, in the distance of me
and this larger than me by a third or so Shadowy figure whom I knew well for whatever reason, there was a group of other large shadowy figures in
heated debate over I have no idea what. Then, after selecting the people I wanted as parents and the future I saw for myself, in a blink, they came
together and, when the other figures were busy arguing, the Shadowy figure sort of pushed me in, it was so fast that as I went through the darkness,
it still had hold of me. The other twin was successfully in first, I went next, but, as the figure was still holding to me and I to it, a piece of
that darkness sealing us tore off into my hand. While in the darkness of the womb, I still knew whatever I knew before going in, and so when it came
time to be birthed into the World, I deliberately, and without permission from any of the Shadowy figures and against the warnings of the large figure
with whom I walked, I grabbed my twins leg and pulled him back (he was indeed a problematic birth were he to make it at all because he was almost
turned) I took his place to come out first. The cold air hit me, the light, blinded and hurt, in fact, everything hurt, even the sheets hurt. I
immediately forgot whatever it was I knew about myself or my future. I guess because of the blackness that ripped, because of the figure and I still
holding fast to one another (I get the vague impression, I wasn't supposed to be a twin, so, I guess one of us had to die to return) I can still
recall vaguely, as I just put forth, what took place and how I was born. It is either my first memory or an infants dream from the womb, because all
that took place at the time of my birth was later confirmed to be true. I explained my birth and twin, before it was ever admitted it took place.
There were medical records which verified it.
Given, all that I've shared with you, and vast amounts more that I won't even bother with here, I have to say, I don't know what to believe anymore
about anything. But, this is kinda therapeutic for me, so, what the hell.
Consider that I score top 98% on my tests without trying. I scored top 98% on my GED. I have a HS Diploma with a 3.8 GPA and a major in American
History. I scored top 98% on my military ASVAB, as well. I always leave myself 2% to remind myself I'm not perfect. That is I deliberately
underachieve what I can easily Ace. How many people get to Ace these things, much less, to choose not to. I'm a member of the Southern Baptist,
Mormon (LDS), and Roman Catholic church, simultaineously. I've been baptised in each. As a Mormon, I've been confirmed and had the "laying on of
hands," so at 18 had become a Priest of the Aaronic Order of the Melchizedach. As a Catholic, I've been catechumenized and served as an altar boy
-no priest molesting here. I'm 33, so was Christ at death.
[edit on 12-1-2009 by PhyberDragon]