What you are experiencing is the reflection of your mind
reflexive construct of reality - it defends its territory with
doubt and fear.
I wrote lengths at this response, i know this by experience
and call this effect "shield", or what some other authors
refers as "ego shell", "outter ego", "subconscious".
AP (or anything out of the 'borders') must be compensated
with intense will, focus and understanding gradually what is
fear and overcoming it by experience.
I just AP last week for 5 seconds, for a luck of trying when
just wakeing up (my fear was slow automated response).
In some sense, yes, I cheated. I guess everything counts.
Try reading my guide on sig, as address the "stepping into
the unknow" logically... I think it apply to most everything
I see your struglle. We are almost at the same level, because
i couldnt project again.. i feel my fear raising up crazy levels.
Maybe the solution (for me) is take a full day of relaxing and
"subconscious build" of reading all papers again and trying
the trance method sitting, not laying in bed.
Im having almost lucid dreams everynight.
Hope this helps...