When Words Can Kill: 'That's So Gay'

reply to post by Mr Headshot

Every single kid gets called gay by older kids.

You can't assume this was all that took place with the bullies, who knows how harshly harassed this kid was? You don't, so stop with the assumptions. In the article the mother discusses this 11 year old going through his mother dealing with breast cancer and being temporarily homeless. I think he could live through a few "gays" and "fags" here and there if he went through that. I think the torment went to another level and I think a suicide is definitely an indicator of this.

[edit on 16-4-2009 by rapinbatsisaltherage]

Originally posted by Common Good
reply to post by Zenagain

 

I think that maybe there is more to this story, and that maybe this child had other problems in his life that only took one little name to push him over the edge. Thats just my opinion.

I second that. But of course we will never be able to get access to all of the information we need to know what truly happened up to this point. Something was definitely wrong at home. The media only wants us to focus on what the media wants us to see.

reply to post by Leto

Bullying is a natural survival instinct seen in all animals. It prepares you and the "victim" for the challenges of the real world.

There are lots of natural instincts in animals; this is a completely irrelevant point. We live in a civilized society that takes into account the mental health of our populace. If we didn’t we’d be in shambles.

Originally posted by Leto

Originally posted by Zenagain
I got called much worse in grade school and didn't hang myself. I don't agree with bullying but I DO agree with growing a pair. Life sucks, get a helmet.


Edit: Just please, PLEASE don't be shooting up your schools, M'kay?

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Zenagain]

Agreed. If you can't handle childish insults then perhaps you're not fit enough to live in this world. If he hadn't killed himself now perhaps he would have done something worse when he would eventually get dumped by his first girlfriend/boyfriend. Life is tough, you need a thick skin to survive.

Or maybe we need to raise children to be a bit nicer and act a bit more HUMAN. I'm sorry but I don't buy this whole "suck it up" mentality. With this attitude, we'll never get anywhere. You're making bullying OK and acceptable and it's not.

Originally posted by Leto

Originally posted by Zenagain
I got called much worse in grade school and didn't hang myself. I don't agree with bullying but I DO agree with growing a pair. Life sucks, get a helmet.


Edit: Just please, PLEASE don't be shooting up your schools, M'kay?

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Zenagain]

Agreed. If you can't handle childish insults then perhaps you're not fit enough to live in this world. If he hadn't killed himself now perhaps he would have done something worse when he would eventually get dumped by his first girlfriend/boyfriend. Life is tough, you need a thick skin to survive.

What am I reading even? There are a few posts like this! If you can't handle this world you're not fit enough to live in it? Its a primitive dog eat dog, survivalist manly kind of place where you need to chew on nails and call it a friendly hellhole. This is the problem. Its not a dog eat dog world, except for that mentality. I've noticed all along that its the most sensitive and often intelligent ones that seem to be prone to suicide, and they have so much to contribute. They're the future of this world, the non-primitives. These are babies. 11 is a baby. Even the bullies to me are babies, children, little ones. This macho patriarchal nonsense is adult crapola!!!!!!!!!!

We need the blending of male and female energy everywhere ASAP. I can't even bare such comments. I have 5 boys and each one of them is precious, and the shy ones are usually the most thoughtful master planner types there are. Guess what, they're also very vulnerable to depression, low self esteem and suicide. That boy might have been the answer to this worlds most urgent problems. He was far too sweet and far too good for the hell some are determined to make this world into. We don't need to toughen them up, we need to SOFTEN them up and fill them with compassion.

Originally posted by Leto

Originally posted by sos37

Originally posted by dracodie
Some people here make bullies seem like they are a three headed beast with no brains , who just want to destroy other kids life´s

For all we know the kid could have some kind of mental disorder.

Bullies are the ones with a mental disorder. Think about it - why does someone bully someone else in the first place? Two reasons I can think of are to make themselves feel better because they don't feel good about themselves or because they like exerting power over someone else. In either case, the need that drives someone to bullying is an indicator that something is wrong in their own life.

Bullying is a natural survival instinct seen in all animals. It prepares you and the "victim" for the challenges of the real world.

The survival instinct you're speaking of, is only acceptable in the rain forest.
Why is it so difficult to ask HUMANS to act HUMAN ?

Also keep in mind that part of the survival instinct is to take what you want/need.
What if someone wanted your home for shelter? Is that ok too?
What if someone wanted your food? If they are bigger then you, is it ok for them to take it? It's all survival you know

[edit on 16-4-2009 by jfj123]

Originally posted by Leto

Originally posted by sos37

Originally posted by dracodie
Some people here make bullies seem like they are a three headed beast with no brains , who just want to destroy other kids life´s

For all we know the kid could have some kind of mental disorder.

Bullies are the ones with a mental disorder. Think about it - why does someone bully someone else in the first place? Two reasons I can think of are to make themselves feel better because they don't feel good about themselves or because they like exerting power over someone else. In either case, the need that drives someone to bullying is an indicator that something is wrong in their own life.

Bullying is a natural survival instinct seen in all animals. It prepares you and the "victim" for the challenges of the real world.

Then why is it that bullies typically pick on someone much weaker than they are or hang around in packs and taunt a single person? What exactly does the bully get out of bullying someone like that - the satisfaction of knowing that they have tortured someone not nearly as strong as they are?

Oh yeah - nothing prepares you for life more than exerting your strength over those who are weaker than you are, or those whom you outnumber.

Sounds like it teaches the bully to be a coward to me.

Originally posted by sos37
.... or because they like exerting power over someone else.

Gee, that must be why many bullies grow up to become cops or career politicians or bar bouncers or dominating spouses.

I actually feel bad for the kids who called him gay too. I'm sure they had no idea he was gonna KILL himself over it. If they aren't feeling extremely guilty, they have no heart.

Originally posted by mystiq

What am I reading even? There are a few posts like this! If you can't handle this world you're not fit enough to live in it? Its a primitive dog eat dog, survivalist manly kind of place where you need to chew on nails and call it a friendly hellhole. This is the problem. Its not a dog eat dog world, except for that mentality. I've noticed all along that its the most sensitive and often intelligent ones that seem to be prone to suicide, and they have so much to contribute. They're the future of this world, the non-primitives. These are babies. 11 is a baby. Even the bullies to me are babies, children, little ones. This macho patriarchal nonsense is adult crapola!!!!!!!!!!

We need the blending of male and female energy everywhere ASAP. I can't even bare such comments. I have 5 boys and each one of them is precious, and the shy ones are usually the most thoughtful master planner types there are. Guess what, they're also very vulnerable to depression, low self esteem and suicide. That boy might have been the answer to this worlds most urgent problems. He was far too sweet and far too good for the hell some are determined to make this world into. We don't need to toughen them up, we need to SOFTEN them up and fill them with compassion.

Soften them up? Fill them with compassion? That's exactly what leads to these suicides. Parents and schools need to prepare their children to the realities of the world we live in, not build an unrealistic safety bubble where nothing ever goes wrong.

Don't know if you know this but it is possible to have both a thick skin and a big brain.

Originally posted by mystiq

Originally posted by Leto

Originally posted by Zenagain
I got called much worse in grade school and didn't hang myself. I don't agree with bullying but I DO agree with growing a pair. Life sucks, get a helmet.


Edit: Just please, PLEASE don't be shooting up your schools, M'kay?

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Zenagain]

Agreed. If you can't handle childish insults then perhaps you're not fit enough to live in this world. If he hadn't killed himself now perhaps he would have done something worse when he would eventually get dumped by his first girlfriend/boyfriend. Life is tough, you need a thick skin to survive.

What am I reading even? There are a few posts like this! If you can't handle this world you're not fit enough to live in it? Its a primitive dog eat dog, survivalist manly kind of place where you need to chew on nails and call it a friendly hellhole. This is the problem. Its not a dog eat dog world, except for that mentality. I've noticed all along that its the most sensitive and often intelligent ones that seem to be prone to suicide, and they have so much to contribute. They're the future of this world, the non-primitives. These are babies. 11 is a baby. Even the bullies to me are babies, children, little ones. This macho patriarchal nonsense is adult crapola!!!!!!!!!!

We need the blending of male and female energy everywhere ASAP. I can't even bare such comments. I have 5 boys and each one of them is precious, and the shy ones are usually the most thoughtful master planner types there are. Guess what, they're also very vulnerable to depression, low self esteem and suicide. That boy might have been the answer to this worlds most urgent problems. He was far too sweet and far too good for the hell some are determined to make this world into. We don't need to toughen them up, we need to SOFTEN them up and fill them with compassion.

*redneck accent* Sounds to me like yer a limp-wristed liberal gay-tard.

[/sarcasm]

In all seriousness. Mystiq? I agree with you. And I also agree with the "Life's unfair? Try growing a pair!" philosophy. To be honest I am not sure how agreeing with both viewpoints could be humanly possible.

Somewhere along the lines you need a stringently precise balance between applying both of these ideologies in a practical setting.

"Life's unfair? Try growing a pair." I agree.

"All hate and no praise makes little Johnny feel like a hopeless disgrace." I agree with this too.

But what I strongly agree with is learning to be dependent on oneself. This is what America was founded on.

God works in mysterious ways.

In a sense God created bullies with the objective to instill independence in an individual. As one person in this thread stated something to the effect of (which I will regurgitate in my own words): The act of bullying prepares both the bully and the individual who is subject to said bullying to deal with and overcome the challenges and hardships of life's game of "survival of the fittest."

I feel the only way to overcome the challenge of bridging the gap between being soft and tough is to (love our children, yes) but most of all teach them 'tough love'. Our children need to be taught how to love themselves.

Then again. I feel that this kid may have committed suicide for a far more compelling reason than simply being called 'gay' or 'fag'.

Needless to say; the main-stream-media simply likes to take something like this out of context and blow it far out of proportion in order to garner ratings for their programs.

*announcer's voice* "And now back to regularly scheduled programming for all you gay-tards out there in TV-land."

Originally posted by jfj123

The survival instinct you're speaking of, is only acceptable in the rain forest.
Why is it so difficult to ask HUMANS to act HUMAN ?

Also keep in mind that part of the survival instinct is to take what you want/need.
What if someone wanted your home for shelter? Is that ok too?
What if someone wanted your food? If they are bigger then you, is it ok for them to take it? It's all survival you know

[edit on 16-4-2009 by jfj123]

If someone wanted to take my home or my food they'd be looking down the barrel of my shotgun, and yes that's survival.

Originally posted by Zenagain
I got called much worse in grade school and didn't hang myself. I don't agree with bullying but I DO agree with growing a pair. Life sucks, get a helmet.


Edit: Just please, PLEASE don't be shooting up your schools, M'kay?

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Zenagain]

I had come to doubt humanity and lost my faith in the inherent goodness of man, then I read your comment........you have restored my faith in the goodness of mankind. Your compassion and overflowing heart has made me believe again.

[edit on 16-4-2009 by stewartw2]

Originally posted by Leto

Soften them up? Fill them with compassion? That's exactly what leads to these suicides. Parents and schools need to prepare their children to the realities of the world we live in, not build an unrealistic safety bubble where nothing ever goes wrong.

Don't know if you know this but it is possible to have both a thick skin and a big brain.

So then you think it's a good idea to let children bully each other, assault each other, etc.. to prepare them for life?

Originally posted by Leto

Originally posted by jfj123

The survival instinct you're speaking of, is only acceptable in the rain forest.
Why is it so difficult to ask HUMANS to act HUMAN ?

Also keep in mind that part of the survival instinct is to take what you want/need.
What if someone wanted your home for shelter? Is that ok too?
What if someone wanted your food? If they are bigger then you, is it ok for them to take it? It's all survival you know

[edit on 16-4-2009 by jfj123]

If someone wanted to take my home or my food they'd be looking down the barrel of my shotgun, and yes that's survival.

Excellent. So you find that behavior acceptable.
I bet you'd think twice before really wanting to put this to this test.
Someone is always bigger.
Someone is always tougher.
Someone always has a bigger gun.
But hey that ok right? If they get the draw on you, you won't have any hard feelings as it's survival. RIGHT?

Originally posted by jfj123

Originally posted by Leto

Soften them up? Fill them with compassion? That's exactly what leads to these suicides. Parents and schools need to prepare their children to the realities of the world we live in, not build an unrealistic safety bubble where nothing ever goes wrong.

Don't know if you know this but it is possible to have both a thick skin and a big brain.

So then you think it's a good idea to let children bully each other, assault each other, etc.. to prepare them for life?

Absolutely. I think everyone in public school goes through bullying, I was bullied and I did my fair share of bullying. Eventually you realize it's childish and you grow over it.

I bet you'd think twice before really wanting to put this to this test.
Someone is always bigger.
Someone is always tougher.
Someone always has a bigger gun.
But hey that ok right? If they get the draw on you, you won't have any hard feelings as it's survival. RIGHT?

As opposed to what, sitting there and hoping a magical fairy would help you? No, you need to defend yourself and call the cops.

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Leto]

Grow a pair?? Do you people have any idea what this child went through before hanging himself? The torment he must have felt. Where is your compassion? You obviously have none.

I am sickened by this thread. It shows how most straight people really feel about gay people. Oh, no big deal...one less fag in the world.

My heart broke for this poor kid. Bullying has NO place in a peaceful world.

Originally posted by Leto

So then you think it's a good idea to let children bully each other, assault each other, etc.. to prepare them for life?

Absolutely. I think everyone in public school goes through bullying, I was bullied and I did my fair share of bullying. Eventually you realize it's childish and you grow over it.

Or people die.

I bet you'd think twice before really wanting to put this to this test.
Someone is always bigger.
Someone is always tougher.
Someone always has a bigger gun.
But hey that ok right? If they get the draw on you, you won't have any hard feelings as it's survival. RIGHT?

As opposed to what, sitting there and hoping a magical fairy would help you? No, you need to defend yourself and call the cops.

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Leto]

Well wait a minute. Since it's just survival, why call the cops? Sure you can try and defend yourself but maybe the bully that wants your house is bigger then you so you get tossed out of your house. Remember, you said bullying is OK.
You're not suggesting calling the cops for other bullies so why call the cops when you're being bullied? That doesn't blend with your logic.

[edit on 16-4-2009 by jfj123]

Originally posted by zippy1958
Grow a pair?? Do you people have any idea what this child went through before hanging himself? The torment he must have felt. Where is your compassion? You obviously have none.

I am sickened by this thread. It shows how most straight people really feel about gay people. Oh, no big deal...one less fag in the world.

My heart broke for this poor kid. Bullying has NO place in a peaceful world.

You are absolutely 100% correct !!!
But please don't condemn all us hetero's ok ?

I am also sickened with the attitudes I've seen here.
Shouldn't we protect the weak? Help the helpless so to speak.

And frankly anyone who saw this abuse going on and did nothing should be ashamed of themselves.
We as a society have been turning a blind eye to abuse for too long. We need to start getting involved.

Originally posted by jfj123
We as a society have been turning a blind eye to abuse for too long. We need to start getting involved.

WHAT?!?! Are you kidding me with that melodramatic nonsense or what guy??

Life for parents has gotten SO friggin out of control that they can't even discipline their children without the fear of going to jail, and you in your infinite wisdom thinks this society has been turning a blind eye???

Get a friggin check on reality a bit pal and look around you.


AB1