Sad thread.I ought to be much more depressed after the life I have experienced and am not sure why that is.I grew up depressed and suicidal.My primary male abuse provider just died and it is a pure relief to not ever have to take his B.S.(Seeing the "old hag" appelation for mother,I just about bust a gut laughing,too true.)I never understood beating a child,don't want to.My kidlets appreciate my consideration.I could never face them if I lost it and hit them.

I guess I realized that I was given a choice to come into this world,problems included,and agreement meant sticking to it.Not been easy or much fun,but as the I CHING advises,"Perseverence Furthers."

As someone who also suffers from depression, I've posted my story on ATS before, but here's a quick sum up:
-Was put on Prozac at age 6/7 and saw psychiatrist regularly
-Prozac worked until I was switched around age 13 to Sarafem, basically the same thing
-At age 16, switched to a number of different meds with Fluoxetine stopped working, including Cymbalta. Ended up staying with Lexapro for awhile.
-Lexapro made me tired, took it first with Focalin as a supplement, and then with Wellbutrin, which gave me hives.
-Age 17, went off medications. Then tried to go back on Wellbutrin, but a different formula. Had an allergic reaction. Went off medications again and is now in therapy at age 18.

Therapy is for sure not as easy as medications were, and it doesn't make the symptoms go away, just teaches you to control them.

Depression also runs in my family and the medications have, for the most part, worked for everyone. I went off because Wellbutrin (an atypical) was the best one I had ever tried because I didn't feel tired, but I learned that a huge number of people get seizures from it. So I started researching all the side effects of ADs and decided to stop. The only permanent effects I have are the Prozac MAY have stunted my growth a tad, and I grind my teeth and have TMJ from that.

But depression is real and serious, all right. That's for sure. If anyone tells you otherwise, they don't know what they're talking about. Like that guy up there.

My depression symptoms are mostly physical and mainly are severe fatigue. Rapid mood swings. A feeling of helplessness and hopelessness. I isolate myself. I cry at the slightest thing when I'm going through it, I'll sit and cry for hours until I'm sick. I'll eat a lot and watch TV sometimes but mostly sleep. And I mean, feel sad, go to sleep at 4 in the afternoon, wake up at 3 in the afternoon the next day. I also worry about tons of things that I can't control and basically feel horrible.

So, I mean, anyone who doesn't understand? I'll switch with you. My current boyfriend kind of said some horrible things about depression and he eats his words now that he knows me more. Because he was like "these meds you take are just happy pills and you don't need them" which kind of convinced me to try going off of them again, that and the side effects, and now he tells me "I just don't know how to make you feel better, is there anything I can do?" and he sits and holds me while I cry for twelve hours.

It's awesome, depression. I'll switch with you if you think it's made-up. Also, why do you suppose people go through electric shock therapy and take these horrible medications if they're not really suffering themselves? You think you can deal with it? Give it a go.

[edit on 4/16/2009 by ravenshadow13]

. I know i had it when i was a kid. Now it seems really controllable..emotions can be "flexed" until they "erase" previously unwanted emtions, like whichever one you need at the time to erase the one that's too intense. After the "medicine", you're back ona regular playing field. My method is crap if you smoke pot. Pot can be a downer i'll admit that.
I still stay home from work for weeks at a time...most recent one was over christmas alone hahah. big surprise there! It's weird how the justification for the depressive outlook is. Ya sit there and it's like "i feel like crap" but then you just do things that make you feel worse cause you're not worth being made to feel better. Maybe not worse, actually, but definately not better/productive. I've been in a cycle for sometime now where i'm diggin myself out financially because of it 2-3 times per year.
Miss work, get depressed, miss more work cause i think i'm fired, go back to work, work butt off to catch up, get tired, miss work, repeat. Luckily there was a boom here.....it's over now tho.

I'd love to ask some more questions on here but i gotta get to work haha.

I used to suffer from depression, and wouldn't go to a doctor for fear of being 'carted off' as mentally ill. Also, I didn't want to take medications as I'd heard so many bad things about them.

There were thing in my life that I accepted as normal, not realising that they were symptoms of depression. For instance, sleeping all day at week-ends. to me that was a normal part of my routine.

Other things, I did realise were 'odd'. For instance, I had a feeling of 'swimming through treacle' just to get simple jobs done, or to make it through a day. Everything I did or tried to do was just more difficult than it needed to be.

Eventually, I went to see a psychotherapist but found it didn't suit me at all. I'd lie on the bed for an hour, trying to discuss what was bothering me but found that I'd ramble about my every day problems for most of the time. I'd only get to the 'good stuff' about 15 or 20 minutes towards the end of the session. Then just when I'd got into my stride the therapist would give me the '5 minute warning' and that would be the end of the session.

I'd come out with the feeling that you'd get if you went into your living room and turfed all the stuff in your cupboards into the middle of the floor, then just left it lying there in the middle of the room. Not knowing how to sort it all out or how to get it back into the cupboards.

Having two sessions a week made things really hard to handle as I'd just be starting to feel a bit settled and then I'd be back for another session. So I asked to change the system and have only one session a week. The therapist agreed, but told me that she'd have to raise the price.

Needless to say, I didn't keep it up for too long after that.

Fast forward a bit, and I had a terrible year. Some bug affected my desire to eat, and I found most food impossible to cope with. Shortly after that a broken relationship 'cleaned me out' emotionally and aggravated the eating problem.

My best friend died and within a couple of months of him going, two of my little pets died. By the time I lost the second one, I had nothing left to feel for her.

I wasn't suicidal - I have been at various other times of my life - because I just couldn't make a decision on whether I wanted to live or die. I didn't care either way.

Somehow, my survival instinct reared it's head and persuaded me to get two new little pets. Knowing that if I had someone else to care for, I would keep myself going.

I had that feeling of looking at life through a pane of glass. I couldn't really touch anything. I loved my new pets but only with my mind, my heart had died. I loved them because I could remember how to love and recreated the feeling in my brain.

Now, this is where I follow the example of saying 'this is only my personal solution to the problem and it won't be right for everyone else'.

I hope no-one will give me too hard a time about this, but it may just help someone else.

A friend of mine suggested a Dianetics course, which of course involves the Church of Scientology. I will not recommend that anyone gets involved with them, because I had a really bad experience with them financially. Plus, they are a bit short of auditors.

But, the first time I went into a session, it took 6 hours. No-one calling time or making me feel that they wanted to get off home. I followed the auditor's initial guidance, found a problem and then dealt with it until it could no longer hurt me.

What a relief after my experience with the psychotherapist. I've read a few posts here where people try to debunk auditing, but I can only say it worked for me.

If anyone reads my post this far and is interested in this, I would suggest finding independent scientologists. There are a lot of them about, you can google Freezone or RonsOrg.

I've had a lot of auditing and have never suffered from depression since. It's like uprooting a problem that you've had attention on so then it's gone for good. And you do feel better.

Thanks Tentickles for starting this thread. It' got a lovely, supportive atmosphere to it. My very best wishes to everyone here.

Originally posted by MegaCurious


Give me a break! How many times do we have to go through this here??

The disease called "Depression" is bogus. It's that simple.

You are so wrong, I can't begin to explain it to you, because what you said above is pure ignorance. How do you explain very wealthy people that have it all, being depressed, as you look to get what you think will make you happy? Depression is not an illness that is born to people who want "things," to make them happy. Trust me, I grew up with a silver spoon, so to speak, in John Hughes land.

That's the kind of logic you guys are using here.

Do you know how to read? I wonder, because if you have read the replies here, apparently you don't understand it. Go back, and re-read the thread, then try to say this again! You have no clue, pal, so why even reply here?

Depression, and other mental illnesses can't be put into a box with a lable. If you'd lived the life of a depressed person, which apparently you haven't, you would see how not only are the words you typed not needed, but outright mean, and rude.

Go back to reading the side of a Fruit Loops box.........

edit for quote 'fixin

[edit on 16-4-2009 by Blanca Rose]

What's really and truly saddening is when you KNOW you have depression, you KNOW pills don't fix the problem one tiny bit- and what you truly need- cannot and will not be helped, nothing can be done about it.

The short form for me:

I live alone- no wife, children, family, relatives, NO ONE except some friends. Having no family is my main source of depression. I have tried for 20 years to have someone- a wife, a g/f- someone. What passed for my 'family' abused and disowned me when I was 17. Pills will not and cannot fix this! It's like putting a band aid on a shotgun blast. However, so many people tell me all I need is a handful of pills, and I'll be just right. How can pills fix a lack of love and a need of companionship, or how people can just blithely tell me it can is so far beyond my comprehension....

I've got 2 cats, and 2 chickens... And to be honest- I care for them, I pet them- but my ability to love is gone, destroyed, dead- whatever you want to call it.

Im not sure if this has already been mentioned. I work as a nutritional consultant and have helped many people with depression. I find using high dose of fish oil, (and not the cheap stuff, its rancid and could be toxic)
with 5-HTP, some vitamins and diet change. most of the people I work with don't notice any change for a few weeks, but afterwards there a whole new person. There are alot of studies you can find on the internet how fish oil (omega 3 EPA/DHA) helps! Also I find, turning off your TV and other depressing media sources and getting back to outdoors, exercising is very helpful.

I just wanted to add my experience regarding depression. I'm 27 and I feel pretty good right now. When I was 25 I had a panic attack. Direct result of my bad life choices. I was drinking too much, not sleeping enough, eating bad, no exersize. After this first panic attack I had extreme depression for weeks. Eventually I would feel back to myself again, and weeks would go by and I would have another panic attack, followed by more depression. This happened about 10 times, with each new panic attack being easier to cope with, and the depression that followed it being less severe.

The panic attack was feeling like my heart was beating out of my chest and that my whole world was caving in on me. I never passed out, or blacked out. The attacks would last a minute or so, but the feeling of terror took hours to depart.

The depression was the feeling of being lonely, uninspired, bored. I enjoyed nothing, and not taking enjoyment out of my favorite activities really bothered me. Life seemed pointless. I never considered suicide, not even close. The longer lasting depression was much much worse the short live panic attack.

So how did I break free? Exercise, and eating healthier. I went from zero exersize to doing about 14 hours per week at the gym, at the track, on the trails. I eat a lot better then I used to, but still not perfectly. Every single time I start to fall back into my old ways of being lazy and eating poorly I get anxiety prone and my mood becomes much more muddy. As long as I exercise and eat decently I can see myself going forever living a normal life.

I guess I'm posting this because I seriously would like anyone who is battling depression or anxiety to try exercise and diet first before going to the pills.

I think I am depressed, but I'm not sure. If you asked me 12 years ago how I felt, I would've been the happiest guy ever, but a collection of problems, with the biggest one being my father, who I really looked up to, destroying our family by having an affair and divorcing my mother probably contributes to most of the unhappiness in my life. That impacted on my education which caused me to fail multiple exams in college and university, and I left with average grades when everyone, including the teachers and family, thought I was capable of top grades. And I'm not even sure what to do now - The divorce just ended, my life is in a craphole, and I'm not sure what to do.

I went to the doctor saying that I feel tired all the time, lack of energy etc, and he said to get a blood test done, which just showed that my blood pressure is slightly higher than normal. He advised eating more greens and fruits etc, and to come back after a month or two, which I did but didn't feel better. However, that was 4 months ago, and I haven't gone back. After all the stuff about Depression pills not really helping, I don't want to be prescribed such pills. Anyone have any ideas what I can do? All I want to do is feel better and happier, but not sure what to do. I've also tried St. Johns Wort, but all that did was make me sleepy all the time.

Thank you for the excellent post.

Rather than prescribing pharmaceutical drugs like Wellbutrin and Prozac, as the side effects of these and other anti-depressants can be disastrous, and I personally would not ever take them or recommend them. Also, when one stops taking pharmaceutical anti-depressants, severe side effects can occur, such as suicide.

Can you recommend or comment on any natural remedies, like St John's Wort or others?

I know what would pull me out of my depression- finding a GOOD wonderful woman who loves me and wouldn't hurt me. Someone to spend my life with...

However- finding such a woman.... She just doesn't exist. Not to mention I'm so ugly, I can make most wild animals flee for their lives...

Originally posted by wylekat
I know what would pull me out of my depression- finding a GOOD wonderful woman who loves me and wouldn't hurt me. Someone to spend my life with...

However- finding such a woman.... She just doesn't exist. Not to mention I'm so ugly, I can make most wild animals flee for their lives...

I probably shouldn't laugh, but that last bit was hilarious.

But on a serious note, there is someone for everyone on this wonderful planet. You should just keep trying and never give up.

Originally posted by octaviameister
Can you recommend or comment on any natural remedies, like St John's Wort or others?

I can state from experience that St Johns Wort did make me feel slightly better, but also made you sleepy during the day so stopped taking it a few weeks ago. However, started again a few days ago by taking 1 pill (185mg tablet) before bedtime since if I felt sleepy, it won't really matter then.

[edit on 16-4-2009 by JasonT]