14 Amazing Chuck Norris Facts ...

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posted on Apr, 28 2010 @ 03:11 PM
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Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
reply to post by schrodingers dog
 


Hahah, that one got me laughing.




posted on Apr, 28 2010 @ 03:27 PM
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Chuck Norris doesn't take showers.

He takes bloodbaths.



posted on Apr, 28 2010 @ 03:38 PM
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"Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris."

"Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode."

"Chuck Norris does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror."

"When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken."

"Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint."


Chuck Norris



posted on Apr, 28 2010 @ 03:45 PM
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posted on Apr, 28 2010 @ 03:59 PM
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Chuck Norris doesn't bump one year old threads ... he wills them back to the recent posts page.



posted on Apr, 28 2010 @ 04:59 PM
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NASA had to ask Chuck to stop playing baseball, it was getting far too expensive to replace all the satellites he accidentally took out with the ball...

On the plus side it's rumoured that an alien invasion was inadvertently thwarted when one of these balls destroyed the mother ship.



posted on Apr, 28 2010 @ 07:47 PM
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I got one, I got one !!

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

and The cheif export of Chuck Norris, ........ is Pain.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull



posted on Apr, 29 2010 @ 12:47 PM
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reply to post by karl 12
 


Chuck Norris doesn't "represent" injured people, he makes them!



posted on Apr, 29 2010 @ 01:11 PM
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Originally posted by Gazrok

Chuck Norris doesn't "represent" injured people, he makes them!



Chuck does both.






posted on Apr, 29 2010 @ 01:24 PM
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reply to post by karl 12
 


Alien species believe in Chuck Norris!



posted on Apr, 29 2010 @ 02:51 PM
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When Chuck Norris talks with MemoryShock he leaves knowing that he has to buy the cliff notes.

Internet Blasphemy...



posted on Apr, 29 2010 @ 03:25 PM
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Were you injured at work, had a trip, fall or other accident?

This is one of the few things Chuck finds funny.



posted on Apr, 29 2010 @ 03:28 PM
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reply to post by MemoryShock
 


Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.



posted on Apr, 29 2010 @ 03:41 PM
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reply to post by schrodingers dog
 

Maybe in bizarro world...


Before interacting with me, Chuck Norris requires a full personality and genetic profiling...and then hopes to Chuck Norris he isn't completely wrong...



posted on Apr, 29 2010 @ 04:50 PM
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Chuck Norris keeps this thread alive....EXCLUSIVELY!



posted on Apr, 29 2010 @ 04:55 PM
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Has anyone seen the new Total Gym ads? I think Chuck is going through a late-life crisis, his hair and mustache were dyed black. Why.......I don't know.

It just looked really strange.

Peace



posted on Apr, 29 2010 @ 05:04 PM
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Originally posted by Dr Love
Has anyone seen the new Total Gym ads? I think Chuck is going through a late-life crisis, his hair and mustache were dyed black. Why.......I don't know.

It just looked really strange.

Peace


I don't get it?




posted on Apr, 30 2010 @ 11:23 PM
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Originally posted by Dr Love
Has anyone seen the new Total Gym ads? I think Chuck is going through a late-life crisis, his hair and mustache were dyed black. Why.......I don't know.

It just looked really strange.

Peace


No no. Chuck Norris told his hair to change to black OR ELSE. It took all of a second for the hair to comply.



posted on Apr, 30 2010 @ 11:28 PM
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...HAARP BLAMES CHUCK NORRIS !...




[edit on 30-4-2010 by The Utopian Penguin]



posted on May, 22 2010 @ 05:47 PM
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They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.





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