(SXWC) The Final Warning

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posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 12:15 PM
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It's really quite a nice change from all of the concerning stories here on ATS. I never laughed so hard when Oprah got involved. Boy was that funny.



I'm not quite sure if you wrote this or not, but I can't assume anything. I will however e-mail this link to my friends.




posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 01:48 PM
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Thanks, Someone really needs to track down those auto warranty calls. Definitely a brilliant work of satire.



posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 01:56 PM
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HAHA...this was hilarious. Awesome job!


I used to get those freakin calls all the time. I would always just hang up. One day i stayed on the line and listened and it gives you the option to not receive the calls anymore. You just press 2 i think. Havent had a call from em since.



posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 02:01 PM
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reply to post by Flatwoods
 


Excellent,I was drawn in as soon as I read the first two sentences!I could see that as some movie or something,lol.Good one,a good one for Easter to,to lighten up the always serious ATS.Star and flag from me.



posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 02:26 PM
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reply to post by Flatwoods
 


S+F , that was brilliant and made me laugh like hell, reminded me of Douglas Adams.

What the hell ! I'm now informed I need more characters !
:lol



posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 02:36 PM
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Nice, now I need to get the old pen and paper out so I can start writing again. Thanks for the great story and some inspiration to boot! Are we allowed to send this out to people we knwo? I know a few people that would love to read it!



posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 02:56 PM
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Excellent story! I laughed quite a bit as well.


I'm almost glad my story isn't eligible after reading that.



posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 05:31 PM
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S&F!

Definitely enjoyed the quip about being the President in Earth's final hour being the first to respond to one of the vehicle warranty calls!


Sad thing is many of the alluded things in the story, although fictitious and humorous in nature, in todays world aren't too farfetched...



posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 05:57 PM
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Sheer and unequivocal brilliance! You have made my day so much brighter with your dry sense of peculiar humor and astounding wit. I have to admit that is one for the books and should be published asap.
Congratulations and



posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 07:51 PM
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Originally posted by dadazuma
may I send it to people i know too plsss



This story is my original work, written by me alone. You may send a link for the webpage if you want, but please DO NOT COPY AND PASTE the text onto another website or message board. It would confuse the board moderators and I don't want to get blamed for anything.







[edit on 12-4-2009 by Flatwoods]



posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 08:30 PM
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Clicking on the copyright & usage button (bottom right corner) on Flatwoods (or anyone else's) post will bring up the Creative Commons Deed and explain what may and may not be done:


Attribution. You must attribute authorship of the work to "Flatwoods; a member of AboveTopSecret.com", and include the title of the message thread, (SXWC) The Final Warning; and this full link URL to the post: www.abovetopsecret.com... (Unless otherwise noted, photography and other artwork linked within member posts are subject to the usage rights of the individual owners of the linked artwork.)

Noncommercial. You may not use this work for commercial purposes. This includes display on any website that contains advertising, accepts member donations, or any other form of monetary compensation. Display must be open to the general web browsing public with no access restrictions.

No Derivative Works. You may not alter, transform, or build upon this work.



The same link is on every post on this website and protects both ATS and the author of the post.

Hope that helps


[edit on 12/4/09 by masqua]



posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 08:43 PM
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reply to post by masqua
 


Thanks for pointing that out, Masqua. Somehow I never noticed that before, but now that I see it I'm glad it's there!



posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 08:50 PM
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reply to post by Flatwoods
 


It IS good, isn't it?



It certainly makes me feel better when I do something creative too. As both a visual artist (painter) and a writer, I have no qualms about posting anything, whether it is a story or a photo of one of my paintings.

If someone were to try to make it out to be their own, especially online, it won't be hard to find.



[edit on 12/4/09 by masqua]



posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 09:41 PM
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reply to post by Flatwoods
 


That is the dumbest thread I have ever read.

The Earth stops its rotation.

Then why do we still have a morning, afternoon and night.

That is so stupid I think I am going to throw up



posted on Apr, 12 2009 @ 09:41 PM
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reply to post by Flatwoods
 


That is the dumbest thread I have ever read.

The Earth stops its rotation.

Then why do we still have a morning, afternoon and night.

That is so stupid I think I am going to throw up



posted on Apr, 13 2009 @ 04:15 AM
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reply to post by Flatwoods
 


Of all the inane and mind numbing crap I have read in here. I finally come across something COMPLETELY and HORRIBLY needed. This was the funniest dam** piece I have ever come across in such a "TAKE ME SERIOUSLY NOW" site. Everyone in here, myself included has that hell bent "I AM POLICY" attitude. You have stepped aside this and stomped on it all together with something light hearted witty, intelligent, well thought and VERY BLOODY FUNNY!!
Thank you mate.. Thank you VERY much for this. Well worth reading.
Kudos, cheers, daps, and a high five!



posted on Apr, 13 2009 @ 04:17 AM
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Originally posted by arizonascott
reply to post by Flatwoods
 


That is the dumbest thread I have ever read.

The Earth stops its rotation.

Then why do we still have a morning, afternoon and night.

That is so stupid I think I am going to throw up


Mate.... its a short story.. hence the section it is under.. and if you want to take it seriously we still have a moon, and we still have Mr. Obama on his FIRST term.. not anywhere near re election lol... lighten up, read the whole thing and laugh..



posted on Apr, 13 2009 @ 06:38 AM
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reply to post by arizonascott
 


I would recommend you read Philip Jose Farmer's series Riverworld. A science fiction thriller set within a gigantic ring-shaped spaceship, producing gravity by the flow of a giant river and populated by some of the greatest characters in human history.

Flatwoods story reminded me of the 5-book series.



posted on Apr, 13 2009 @ 09:10 AM
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Amazing read. Thank you Flatwoods!


Originally posted by Slash
Great writing my friend. I needed a good laugh in these grim times we're in. I pictured in my head the moon blowing up and the chaos that followed. It's stories like these that let me escape from reality. It was a really good read. Well done!


But would you really laugh if the moon blew up? Is it only funny if it's fictional? Is it fictional? Or does it represent something real? Great writers will use humorous comparisons to captivate an audience while sharing an honest belief.

As another poster stated, the story was phenomenal, but I didn't laugh a whole lot. Everybody is treating this as if it were comedy. Was it?



Cheers!


- Strype



posted on Apr, 13 2009 @ 10:48 AM
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reply to post by Flatwoods
 


You should have tried to sell the story before you posted it...it is just wonderful!! Thank you for sharing.





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