Since I'm feeling sentimental atm, I'd like to share this true story...
In the summer of 2007 my brother commited suicide. Till this day no one knows why he did it, or not for sure anyway.
Loosing someone is always hard, loosing someone and not being able to give it reason is hell.... you keep asking questions all day long, trying to
make sense of it.. but after a while, the people around you get tired of listening and I felt like I had to go trough it alone.
It was the hardest year of my life, not being able to tell him certain things, wondering if I could have made any difference If I'd known he was
having problems or had a depression....
My beliefs went through a real test period. I used to be a very spiritual person and always thought that I would be able to sense loved ones after
they'd died, but this time I felt nothing. He was gone and there was no trace of energy left of him (that I could feel). I begged for a sign that he
somehow was still around...
So, about 6 months later, for the first time since it happened, I saw him in a vivid dream. He was laughing and seemed happy... he sayd that
everything was ok and showed me the symbol of a windrose on the palm of his hand. When I woke up I felt better but I still thought of it as 'just a
That same week my daughter comes to me with a little toy box in her hand, she said she had a present for me. I opened the box and in it was a little
card from a board game, it had a windrose on it. For a moment my heart stopped beating. She had no idea what she gave me *s*
two weeks later it started snowing, me and my kid where having a lot of fun because she hardly saw snow in her life. That afternoon I went to the
store on the corner for cigarets and a new lighter. The guy behind the counter showed me a box with new lighters he just got in... my heart stood
still again, they all had a windrose on them, with a text "enjoy the snow"...
3 months later. It had been a very bussy time at work and I was litteraly longing for vacation, actually at that time I was getting sick from the
stress from the last year. I had a weekend planned for a few weeks later. One morning I was sorting the mail when I found an advertising in it: it was
a postcard with a dog on it, around his neck he had a hanger with a windrose. The card read: the vacation is almost there.
The first day of my week off from work I went to the bank to make a deposit. The machine was out of order so I had to get in line to make the deposit
at the counter. While waiting in line, my eye cought a bunch of pamflets lying on a table. I took one, it was an add for a car loan, I folded it open
and on the inside there was the image of yet another windrose. It read "enjoy your vacation". I almost cried right there at the bank.
When I came home I took his picture and said out loud "thank you". After that I dreamed of him one more time, again he seemed happy.
I didn't get windroses again.
So now I have a shelf full of them and they remind me that there is more to life then this mudball we live on...
Thought I'd share....