I'm selling out

I'm going back to my old job. I got fired about a year and a half ago. It was a very well paid, responsible position but I always felt it was meaningless in the overall scheme of things even though I was very good at it. My firing was just poorly implemented bureaucratic politics and I was actually relieved when I got fired. I was relieved because I was so burned out after 18 years of service there and all the bogus politics that goes on. I haven't missed it at all.

I'm going back with full benefits, salary, etc... along with restored service and a little "extra" to make the deal sweet. But... I don't really want to.

On the other hand, I'm a single mother of 2 kids, and feel like it's my responsibility to uphold the standard they're used to. Even typing that makes me sick. I've actually gotten them used to a standard that requires me and probably them in the future to sell out and figuratively prostitute themselves to a life of meaningless work all in the name of money and a standard of living.

I could still turn the deal down, but to be honest with myself, I like having nice things and I like my house and where I live. How did I ever get to this point?

I'm going back to work... I'm selling out.

While I don't know you, I respect your OP.
You're doing what is right for your family. Nothing but respect from me.

reply to post by Iamonlyhuman


While this is not the course I would choose for myself; nor would I advise others to take this path in life, you are in the majority.

It's good that you can see yourself clearly and honestly. That is a strongpoint you have.

Have you considered any other options?

Obviously, the children come first and are a woman's first priority. Just remember though; the happiest and most well-adjusted adults had childhoods that were less than 'ideal'. Overcoming adversity is an opportunity for self-growth. If the standard of living you seek for them is one of lavish excess; then, I might caution you in your decision. But! If the standard you seek for your children is decent food, shelter, clothing and extracurricular activities ... then by all means; you are NOT "selling out" because your primary 'job' is the children.

I think, the children are your job and your 'other job' is a means to perfect your primary job. I think your heart is on the right track.

Is it honest work? I'm betting it is. In that case, you're not a "sellout". You are not your job and you shouldn't let your job dictate your opinion of yourself as long as it's honest work.

Someone once told me, if you can't do what you love, you better figure out a way to love what you do. We can't all run sea turtle rescues or author the next great novel, but we can all figure out a way to make our little piece of the world better by doing the best we can with what we're given to do. Plenty of pride can be taken in that.

Another guy, not as smart as the one I referenced above, said if life hands you crap, then just make crapenade. Wait, that isn't it...

Taking care of your kids is in no way selling out.
If someone is willing to pay you for doing something "meaningless", by all means, take the money. someone else will do it, if you don't.
This way, you are turning "meaningless" into "meaningfull". Just ask your kids!

I don't think you are selling out in ANY way whatsoever. You are setting a fine example for your kids as to what it takes for a self sufficient person to "tote life's heavy loads". I applaud you whole heartedly!

Thank you all for your words, they make a lot of sense and help a lot. Turning meaningless into meaningful for the sake of my primary job, my kids.

I've been kind of depressed about this since the option came up. I've gone back and forth so many times on it that I feel like a bouncy ball. I think it's just that I feel like I should be doing something else but over the last 1 1/2 years I haven't found what that something else is either and 401K doesn't last forever you know. Maybe I AM supposed to be there as some sort of influence (hopefully positive ) on someone else. Who knows?

It's just that every time I think about what it'll be like going back there, my stomach knots up. I am not the same person I was then and I don't have the tolerance I did then for the politics there. I've changed, that company has not, and I am sure of that. I guess we'll see what happens.

Anyway, thanks again.

reply to post by Iamonlyhuman
I admire you for making this sacrifice for your kids. It is obviously a difficult thing for you to go back to such an unsatisfying job.I know exactly how you feel because I "dropped out" a few years ago and cut out of my life much of the completely pointless spending. I really hope that in the future you find a job that as well as giving your kids a good lifestyle also brings meaning and satisfaction into your life.

You are doing what the system wants.

...but when you have kids, the rules change, because now you live for them. I don't have kids, perhaps I wish I did. I'm pretty good at imagining, though.

You're kids are more than you'll ever be, and you'd suffer ANYTHING for them to get where they want to be. That is life, and you're living it.

Peace,
Dragonking76

Haha thats not selling out! What I do is selling out. In Canada I cannot join the RCMP for overseas reasons... so instead I work in advertising and work for a company I dislike. But it pays very well and I am very good at it and it is easy and fun so Im happy. But thats selling out... I dont even use what I tell other people to buy!

I cant imagine working at one place for 18 years...let alone 2 years... so wow good for you. But yes children come first and you could always look for a similar job at a rival company!!

Originally posted by Ridhya
Haha thats not selling out! What I do is selling out. In Canada I cannot join the RCMP for overseas reasons... so instead I work in advertising and work for a company I dislike. But it pays very well and I am very good at it and it is easy and fun so Im happy. But thats selling out... I dont even use what I tell other people to buy!

I cant imagine working at one place for 18 years...let alone 2 years... so wow good for you. But yes children come first and you could always look for a similar job at a rival company!!

The company is a very large, diverse company. I worked for the company for 18 years, probably had 10 different positions in different areas though so not that bad in that respect. I'm like you, can't stay in one place too long.

Originally posted by lombozo
While I don't know you, I respect your OP.
You're doing what is right for your family. Nothing but respect from me.

Well said, simple and to the point. I agree 100% with what you have said.


The OP shows that she cares deeply for and loves her children very much. She is willing to go work at a place that she does not like in order to maintain the lifestyle that her children are used to.

There is a great deal of respect fro me as well.