You are right, but who do you think is responsible for teaching them this?

It certainly ain't the government (they don't want you to think for yourself); it's definitely not other kids (when that happens we get TV shows like "jackass"). No, it is most definitely the responsibility of the parents.

I think kids do think for themselves, parents can only show so much. Teenagers also have friends and a social life outside the home that can contributes to their thought process. I don't disagree with you, but I also feel it kind of extreme to lay it all on the parents.

When I was around 25 I had a coworker I hung out with who had 3 kids. All of them were honor roll students involved in extra curricular activities at school. They were very respectable, bright kids, however his 15 yr old daughter ended up pregnant. Even I was Shocked since they had everything going so smoothly. She adopted out, and they had gone to counseling and what not. Tough subject to lay all responsibility on parents without knowing the bigger picture.

Teenagers often rebel against parents, and this is an age of raging hormones. What kind of parent do you think would be so saintly as to turn out 100% children who fit your modest and upright ideas? Someone who is extremely controlling?
Again, registering as a sexual offender cannot occur as she is both the victim and the perpetrator. If they judge ignores the wording an intent of the law, which is to protect children from adults, then you have an even bigger problem than this.

I think this entire episode is sad, and if her parents were wise, they would find ways to elevate her from the norms she is learning in our screwed up culture, however, at 14, you are negotiating with someone who has a mind of their own and you cannot force them to listen. Read up on what is considered good parenting and communication with teenagers from child psychologists. Theres many books out as well. She may have broken some minor laws, and this should be a learning tool, as teenagers often learn through mistakes. However, again, she cannot be both the victim and perpetrator, and this is the second case I've heard of like this.



[edit on 27-3-2009 by mystiq]

Originally posted by rightuos

You are right, but who do you think is responsible for teaching them this?

It certainly ain't the government (they don't want you to think for yourself); it's definitely not other kids (when that happens we get TV shows like "jackass"). No, it is most definitely the responsibility of the parents.

I think kids do think for themselves, parents can only show so much. Teenagers also have friends and a social life outside the home that can contributes to their thought process. I don't disagree with you, but I also feel it kind of extreme to lay it all on the parents.

When I was around 25 I had a coworker I hung out with who had 3 kids. All of them were honor roll students involved in extra curricular activities at school. They were very respectable, bright kids, however his 15 yr old daughter ended up pregnant. Even I was Shocked since they had everything going so smoothly. She adopted out, and they had gone to counseling and what not. Tough subject to lay all responsibility on parents without knowing the bigger picture.

Exactly the point i was trying to make.

good job.

Wow, these draconian laws are sure reaching out.
I grew up in the 60's and the 70's, and many kids with well adjusted homes living in good neighborhoods played the "You show me yours and I'll show you mine game." It is a naturally curiosity at that age for anyone to want to be accepted and viewed approvingly.

I have a hard time considering a 14 year old capable of considering the actual consequences of her actions in this day and age. Her parents fault? Unlikely as most anti virus these days would easily disable a key logger. Not to mention the ease of access to online media for young people these days, if there is a will, there will be a way.

The real underlying issue here isn't the lack of parenting, it's the complete lack of judgment by the authorities. Sure if your child is found doing something like this, she would need to understand why it's wrong, and how to protect herself in the future. But to label her as a sex offender, and prosecute her based on a law intended to remove ourselves of the very worst aspects of society is clearly the wrong implementation of this law.

No amount of parenting can prevail against the constant onslaught of "America's top model", nudity in mainstream films, Hooter commercials, make up commercials, subliminal messaging in music and a host of other perpetuating sources of pressure presented to kids these days. Girls don't suddenly glow yellow when they begin to have hormonal changes which trigger their sexuality in ways that a parent could not hope to be prepared for. It's generally AFTER something occurs that parents step in to say comforting or guiding words. Or to provide solutions to the problems faced by these young people. (Ever hear of teenage pregnancy? those girls certainly didn't expect to become parents at 12, 13 or 14 and that isn't really a new issue.)

For anyone who hasn't raised good, achieving kids into adults, it is easy to say it's parenting, or you should watch you kid more when their on the computer, or every other excuse. The reality is that whether it's smoking pot, having sex or surfing porn the kids will get access to it if that is their intention. Our parents couldn't stop us when we did it, and I doubt anyones parents could stop them today.

Again, this is a simple judgment issue on behalf of the authorities in this case. They should have notified the 'embarrassed' parents, who could then get to the real root of the issue and take the steps to protect their kid from herself. Instead she becomes the victim of a system that was clearly designed to protect her from online predators. In this case, the "easy bust" (no pun) for the cops, is exactly wrong.

Thanks for reading.
..Ex

Heres just another case of people defending a child pornographer just because she is an underage girl.

Just because she took the photos of herself does not mean that what she did was right. I think the parents should have been more involved with their child and should be teaching her the value of not setting herself up to be a target for some sick bastard.

im going to have to disagree with you.

I knew about sex, what it was, and the consequences of it, by the age of 5 years old.

Let us not be fooled into thinking kids know nothing about sex.

It might be more comforting to think that way, but its not true.

Sex education isnt going to solve the problem. However, if the education system showed the movie "Kids"... im pretty sure we would see a decrease in teen sex.

It takes more than an old man telling you to practice safe sex.. they are bored teenagers and they dont listen nor care

If you ruffle their feathers a bit and show them something intense and hard, its just about the only thing to get through their thick skulls.



[edit on 27-3-2009 by calihan_12]

Originally posted by rightuos

I think kids do think for themselves, parents can only show so much. Teenagers also have friends and a social life outside the home that can contributes to their thought process. I don't disagree with you, but I also feel it kind of extreme to lay it all on the parents.

When I acted stupidly as a kid, doing what other people did just because, my parents had a very poignant, albeit clichéd question for me.
“If your friend jumped off a bridge would you do it too?”
It took a few repetitions of this lesson but before I did anything exceedingly harmful to my life I learned that group mentality is actually a less intelligent mentality. That often, the more people you have in one place, the dumber the sentiments become overall.

I can lay it all on the parents because it is their responsibility as parents to put the world into perspective for their children. That doesn’t mean tell them what to think, it means teach them the world isn’t all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Parents have the responsibility to prepare their children for the world, to teach them that each action one takes has consequences. A responsibility to teach them to make intelligent choices.

It is NO ONE else’s responsibility to raise a child other than the parents of that child. Where does responsibility in raising a child and teaching them the right way to form* an opinion or decision fall if not on the parents?


No really. I want an answer to that question. If it isn’t fair to lay responsibility on the parents where do you think it should lay?


*Just a note for anyone who thinks I just said a parent should be training their opinions upon the child: I didn't.

[edit on 3/27/2009 by eNumbra]

Hell, I blame miley cyrus.

She is a "role model" to many young kids, and at 15 years old, she is dating a 20 year old MAN and she is a CHILD and she posts pictures of herself on myspace lifting her shirt to her chest and using provacative gestures and poses.

Dont be fooled into thinking its the parents faults.

Originally posted by calihan_12
Hell, I blame miley cyrus.

She is a "role model" to many young kids, and at 15 years old, she is dating a 20 year old MAN and she is a CHILD and she posts pictures of herself on myspace lifting her shirt to her chest and using provacative gestures and poses.

Dont be fooled into thinking its the parents faults.

Well, that is absolutely her parent's fault. They are allowing her to "date" an adult man and they are allowing her to have a myspace page and not monitoring or allowing her to behave this way.

They - the parents are not controlling their daughter and are letting her do whatever the heck she wants.

They have not sat her down and told her how a CHILD should behave and have not put up rules and safeguards to ensure their child doesnt misbehave.

It can be done. It takes desire, time and responsibility.
THEY the PARENTS are to blame for her behavior...and she is to blame for partaking in the behavior.

And role model? Again, that is the parent's fault by allowing their kids to be in awe of her and not sitting down and saying: this is not how nice young ladies should behave.

It ALL starts with the parents and ends with the parents. Even if the kids screw up (which we all know some will), it is the parent's responisblity to nip that behavior in the butt and make them accountable for their actions.

[edit on 3/27/2009 by greeneyedleo]

yes children do need to be informed of condoms and the pill etc...

but the way the education system goes about doing it is completely wrong.

it is un-interesting and kids dont listen to things unless it grips them at their core.

thats why i said.. show them the movie KIDS and they will be completely shocked and I can guarantee youll see a decrease in teenage sex.

I saw that movie at age 20 and it scared the hell out of me

Originally posted by calihan_12
She is a "role model" to many young kids,

And she shouldn't be.

Parents should be teaching their kids about Idolatry.

I refer once again to what my parents taught me about blind faith. "Should you do something just because someone else does?"

Originally posted by eNumbra

Originally posted by calihan_12
She is a "role model" to many young kids,

And she shouldn't be.

Parents should be teaching their kids about Idolatry.

I refer once again to what my parents taught me about blind faith. "Should you do something just because someone else does?"

i agree completely. she shouldnt be a role model... but she is. showing you that kids are interested in things maybe they shouldnt be.. but they are.

kids have a mind of their own and to completely rid them of all sexual thoughts and urges is unhealthy.

they dont need to be running around having sex of course, but those thoughts will always be there, and to try and rid a child of those thoughts hurts them more in the end.

This is indeed sad. Sad on many fronts. First, the girl feels the need to do this. I agree that she is of the age where hormones and curiosity are at their peak. She has to know it is wrong. Even if she has some ego about how great her body is or whatever led her to doing this.

Second, the parents have failed in communicating the dangers of today's world to her. About predators that will take advantage of her. I lay part of the blame on them.

Third, the police overreacted. Contact her parents and the girl. Let them know what was happening. Let her know that if she did it again THEN she would be arrested. But to arrest her up front? Hmmmm, I think they missed out on THE opportunity to set things straight.

It's all just sad.

Originally posted by calihan_12
im going to have to disagree with you.

I knew about sex, what it was, and the consequences of it, by the age of 5 years old.

Let us not be fooled into thinking kids know nothing about sex.

It might be more comforting to think that way, but its not true.

Sex education isnt going to solve the problem. However, if the education system showed the movie "Kids"... im pretty sure we would see a decrease in teen sex.

It takes more than an old man telling you to practice safe sex.. they are bored teenagers and they dont listen nor care

If you ruffle their feathers a bit and show them something intense and hard, its just about the only thing to get through their thick skulls.

[edit on 27-3-2009 by calihan_12]

I seriously doubt you knew all about sex and the consequences at 5. Sorry, dont believe it. You may have known that a penis goes into a vaginia and makes babies. But I doubt you knew ALL about sex and all if its consequences (emotional issues, STDs, etc)

I also do not believe kids know all about sex. There is way more to sex then how to physically peform a sexual act. Most I would say do not know about the emotional tole having sex so young can take on a person. How it bonds you with another person is a way that you can never take back. How it can be used against you and how someone can manipulate you and control you on emotional and mental levels. Most kids dont know about sexual abuse from boyfriends (forced sex). Most kids dont realize that having sex with your boyfriend when you say you dont want to is rape. They think rape happens amongst strangers. Most kids dont realize all the ins and outs of STDs and think a condom will protect from all.....and dont realize that condoms fail....and pulling out isnt going to protect them from pregnancy.

And I know for fact, all of that stuff is not being taught to kids - who think they know it all. "Wrapped penis in vaginia to protect from STDs and pregnancy" is not all of what sex is about.

[edit on 3/27/2009 by greeneyedleo]

Originally posted by calihan_12
i agree completely. she shouldnt be a role model... but she is. showing you that kids are interested in things maybe they shouldn't be.. but they are.

Gee, I sure with those kids had someone to guide them, and offer advice on those sorts of issues.

kids have a mind of their own and to completely rid them of all sexual thoughts and urges is unhealthy.

Agreed, don't know why anyone would try, or would think that I suggested that anywhere in my posts.

they dont need to be running around having sex of course, but those thoughts will always be there, and to try and rid a child of those thoughts hurts them more in the end.

Once again, parents have the responsibility of teaching children the importance of intelligent decision. I guess I had assumed when I said that, it went without saying that that includes the children's inclination to free will.

It's the parents fault for the lessons the children learn. It's the children's fault for the decisions they make. The decisions they make are determined by the lessons they learned.

Children and parents share responsibility for the children's actions.
Parent's have the sole responsibility of teaching their children about actions/consequences.