I just don’t get it.

Ok my sister wants to hook me up with a co-worker of hers at work.

My reaction? Good god why?

First off I have a terrible low paying job that half of the income is taken from. I really am in no position to be dating anyone. Not that I would want to go through the nightmare of dating anyway. But my sister is persistent in wanting to fix me up with someone.

I mean really? What is it with you women and the importance of having a relationship? If you want revenge, go on a killing spree, don’t just torture some guy for years.

I don’t need to date anyone, I have mated, and I have a wonderful beautiful awesome son. I’m done. I did my duty to procreate. It’s not essential for the survival of the species nor is it now essential to the survival of my family name.

But apparently my sister is damned and determined to make sure I am involved with some woman. Like I need that headache in my life. For gods sake! If I wanted to be miserable and be treated like dirt I would go to work, I don’t need someone in my life to provide that service. At least at work I’m miserable and treated like dirt for a pitiful paycheck.

I mean if I really was that hell bent on pain and torment I would hit my head with a hammer periodically. I don’t need the services of someone else to do that for me. I can’t afford it, I don’t want it, and I don’t need it. I just don’t understand why she thinks that I deserve such hell in my life.

Really sister, I have been there, done that, lost the T-shirt in the divorce. And I don’t want to go through it again. This society is too consumed with relationships. They are a dreadful nightmare that no one in their right mind should have to put up with. I mean good god why on earth would someone choose to do this is beyond me. Its sadomasochistic behavior to be in any romantic relationship in my opinion.

In all honesty, what would happen? I would meet this person, maybe I would like them, we would hang out and eventually she would leave me for some other guy. Why be the middleman in this? Cut me out of the equation and let her go off with some other guy and make his life a living hell. That way I’m happy, she’s happy and some other shmuck is given the opportunity to be wrung through the emotional wringer. I save money on dinners I could have spent way less on, I don’t have to put up with asinine conversations about idiotic subjects and I don’t have to pretend I am having a good time at it. It’s a win, win situation in my opinion.

I just don’t get it.

Wukky..you are going to hate me for this.
Stop being so negative.
Stop carrying around the baggage of your former marriage with chains.
Stop locking yourself up and throwing away the key.
You have made your heart hard as granite.

I think your sister's intentions are simply that maybe someone out there could share your life with you, and that perhaps you could make each other happy.
That won't happen if you put up a road block before the road's even built.

Have you really decided you want to be alone?
Seriously?
Nobody is asking you to get married again.
There's nothing wrong with just seeing someone for coffee or a walk in the park.
You don't know if you will like a person unless you give them an opportunity.
Don't go into anything with expectations because that is what sets up the failure.
Just be you, and if nothing further comes out of it, then fine. It wasn't meant to be, it's not the end of the world, and you still get to keep your shirt.

What? look at the bright side; what if she has rich parents that would like nothing more than to buy their daughters new beau a fancy sports car, a 30ft sailboat, your own private glof course or a pharmacy.

Dream big!!

[edit on 27-3-2009 by whaaa]

Yea you don't need to have a relationship. Nothing wrong with being alone, if you're able to take care of yourself. The Ego just wants to be validated, to have somebody to love them, cut out the middleman and love yourself. Don't need another person. if it was mandatory to have a mate you'd be born with one, but we're born into this world alone.

That's not to say that you shouldn't let your sister set you up. A relationship can be fun. Obviously, hasn't been so fun for you, so it's clear you need to change up the way you approach a relationship, if you decide to ever do so again. Whatever you've been doing hasn't been working. George Costanza realized that if every decision he ever made was wrong, then the opposite must be right.

I think I see a lot of time spent at work ahead.

Yes I do want to be alone. I don't want to get involved with a woman. I don't need it and I don't want it.

I have tried to explain to my sister that I don't want any relationship. Obviously she has failed to see the point.

AccessDenied,

You know I don't hate you.

I think your sister's intentions are simply that maybe someone out there could share your life with you, and that perhaps you could make each other happy.

I don't want someone to share my life with. I don't want someone to try and make me happy. I don't want to go through the effort of working on a relationship that won't last and in the end wind up being alone anyway. If I am just going to end up alone in the end anyway, why bother trying to be with someone in the first place. I can skip a lot of wasted time and energy and just be by myself.

Friendships are a different matter. A friend is always a welcome thing. I don't think that making friendships in any way is bad. I don't have any problem making friends. I certainly don't need my sister to set me up to make a friend.

But a relationship? I would rather shoot myself in the foot with a shotgun than have to put up with that again.

whaaa,

If I wanted to be a gigolo I would wear short shorts and stand on a street corner.

ThePiemaker,

I think you get it, If my choices to be in relationships only come to heartbreak and pain then obviously my choice was wrong, the opposite must be true and so to not be in a relationship must be better.

reply to post by whatukno


I have written a response 3 times and had to delete it so I will just say this.
Don't let anyone tell you what is good for you.
Theres a silver lining to every cloud.
Whatever you choose to do will have its good points to fall back on to keep you going thru the rough times.
Good luck man.