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im crushed,please help before i do something stupid

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posted on Mar, 23 2009 @ 04:23 PM
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guis please,i dont know who to turn to anymore.
ive been a good boy all my life,im curently 19.
i got heartbroken and travmatized from one girl that broke me..turned me into fukin maso...
and it just keeped getting worse and worse...
i dont like to have sex and dump,i dont want to be mean to my love.
i just want to be loved to go out everywhere to do everything we like..i would do anything for my woman..even give up my salary for GOD SAKE!
and i cant even find a golddigger!
ive become some kinda feminine shadow of the man i should be..
i always fall in love instantly...treat the girl nice.,write her back most of the time...
yet all the girls my age want some macho to treat them like tools...yet i see girls and boys happy in love...and me not...
i dont see why i dont have a girlfriend...ive been liked by some girls,im prety shy so i screwed..and the older i become the worse the fears got...
its not that im not a man,im nice,pretty enough,money,car enough,gonna study some pretty decent college,have a small owm buisness,work nice job...
i can cook delicius,i understand from cologne...why am i so rejected then?
are all the girls in my town such monsters?
please im in big crysis right now,ive never been more heartbroken):
what do i change in my self..si i can get a girl to like me for god sake!




posted on Mar, 23 2009 @ 05:03 PM
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Wow!
I understand the powerful feelings you have right now.
I'm hoping that you won't do anything stupid.

First off, you are young, and I know you don't want to hear that but it's true.
I'm sure you have many things you want to accomplish in life but you are focusing too much on the one thing that you really can't control.
Meeting the right person, just happens when you are busy doing other things in life.
What are your reasons for wanting a girlfriend so much?
What other aspects of your life could you put your thoughts and energy towards?
Perhaps you are visiting the wrong places for the type of girl you want.

If there is one thing I do know for sure, and Iam a woman...it's this:
Women have to be hurt by all the bad guys before we learn to appreciate the good ones.We have to figure out that no matter how much we think we can take the wrong guy and change him into Mr. Right..it won't happen.
In your age group...the girls are still learning.
They'll fall for the players who will break their hearts and leave them wondering what they did wrong.
Now, you could play the role of the supportive friend to these girls, but then that is all they would expect you to be.
My advice..
Be patient. Focus on being you, and living the best life you can...and just keep an open mind to what life may bring you.And when it does, let it develop slowly.If you fall too fast, that gets scary for some women.
Rest assured you will find someone special, but there is no rush for that to happen.



posted on Mar, 23 2009 @ 05:11 PM
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i know its just my complexes and ego are making me made with rage...
im sick watching every couple being happy and in love,i have everything i could want..im not rich but..im pretty happy..i just want a girl,i once had,,,but i stoped loving her..and instead of sex/dump i just did the grown up thing and talk to her..then she found some other guy and started teasing me wtf...
i know i will found one,but im really out of patiance..i DONT WANT to play games,to play it cool/playboy...to seduce and hurt..but thanks for you caring for me (:
well i will probably start job next week as a salesman in a nice fashion store..ill probably sell girl stuff..so i guess i will learn quickly how to adjust to the modern enviroment...i just dont want to pretent to be badboy or sometin..
im happy that u understand that girls always like bad boys and me being good
only puts me as a "friend" im sick and i dont want to be gay friend to no one.



posted on Mar, 23 2009 @ 05:30 PM
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Try not to depend on other people for your happiness. Great as it is to have friends, or a partner, they won't always be there when you want or need them.

Live your life for you and be the person you want to be, not the person you think other people will want you to be.

You've listed some things that you think are good about yourself, so try appreciating yourself a little more. Focus on those good things instead of focussing on your lack of success in finding a girlfriend.

And be a bit choosy, you don't want just anyone for the sake of having a girlfriend. It's possible that girls pick up on that and maybe they'd like to feel that you saw them as 'special' and not just 'possibly available'. (I hope that doesn't sound harsh, it's not meant to be).

Maybe you just need to socialize a little more and you could learn to be more relaxed around people. That's a laugh coming from me, I'm really reclusive. I always assume that other people are more sociable than I am.

You need some fun in your life. If you've got outside interests there's a good chance you'll find like-minded people, maybe even a potential girlfriend.

I know what it's like to feel really alone and how it can feel as if your whole life will be spent that way. In your case, I doubt you will be alone forever but, it's never a bad idea to plan AS IF you will be alone. Then when you meet your partner you'll be a strong, self-sufficient person and you can be with her because you want to be. Not because you need to be.

I wish you well, you're a thoughtful, well-intentioned, self-analytical person and those aren't easy to come by.



posted on Mar, 23 2009 @ 05:33 PM
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thanks man(: i know i will do great but in those teen years its hard for agood person like me to get some love..its like black magic..
i dont know about other good boys that have girlfriends..maybe there is something fishy
afcourse i dont wan to go out with some monster..i dont eve like the most pretty girls that much..or some girl that act as a kid..I:
...still thanks(:
itslike when im alone no girl wants me..like damaged goods.but when im engaged
they try to take me away some times..like "im good,couse some girl taked me"
i dunno still you maked me feel more good i guess ill learn to be more a man
and rellay on my self learning to live alone..that way to be strong
THATS the most good advice i heard probably thanks man you rock (:

[edit on 23-3-2009 by Stillalive]

[edit on 23-3-2009 by Stillalive]



posted on Mar, 24 2009 @ 08:37 AM
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Time is on your side.
Young women like jerks.
Once they get older, they (like us) have a better idea of what they want, and then your kindness will be appreciated.

Sounds like the girls you're getting are immature, so may want to change up your hunting ground or even go for older gals...

There's no rule saying just because you date someone that they have to be THE ONE....so don't start picking out kids names after a few dates...

[edit on 24-3-2009 by Gazrok]



posted on Mar, 24 2009 @ 11:12 AM
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We want a Man who's got "it". And "it" is sometimes very hard to define.

What I want is the swagger of a tall, dark and handsome roving loner, a real Man with eyes that pierce my very soul ... with the body and sexual prowess of a Greek God ... combined with the ability to repair the overhead gasket of a 1997 Ford Escort.

What don't I want ? Some skinny Linux geek, a wishy washy Hugh Grant movie and the suffering indignity of his sticky feeble, fumbled foreplay at nights end.

Good girls do bad boys for a reason. They're tremendous in bed, their volatility is intriguing, they annoy the parents & frighten everyone else. They're an addiction from which you seldom recover.

Perhaps you might be better dating Mrs Robinson ? I hear she's easy ... and a fine educator of womenly wiles too. Failing her, I fear your options for ten years at least are limited to self love and to the love that dare not speak its name.



posted on Mar, 24 2009 @ 11:23 AM
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my dear best..girl..friend sayd the other night that i "have a problem sometimes how to express my self and how to behave" i guess shess right,i change behavior very often..i can be a total geek..or a total badass..thats #ed up

well i guess things will be back to perfect as soon as i start the new job and stop sucking up and falling in love.



posted on Mar, 25 2009 @ 12:27 AM
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Originally posted by Stillalive
what do i change in my self..si i can get a girl to like me for god sake!


You are broadcasting to the universe the feeling of lack. The universe hears lack, and gives you more lack.

When you see a girl you want with a guy who you feel is inferior to you, you feel a feeling of jealousy, and a feeling of low self worth.

You are a nice guy, who is trying to be a nice guy, this as well is a feeling of lack, striving for more.

Feelings are vibrations. You simply need to find a new vibration, or elevate your feelings. Eventually you will attract a girl who matches that vibration.

Your task should be to emulate what you want. Do you want love? See the love in things, help out someone, maybe a senior down the street get her groceries. Those seniors have hot granddaughters often times. Take a cooking class, or something you like, and enjoy it, and build the sense of enjoyment.

You asked how can you chance your life, and this is the simple answer. Find your current emotion on this scale. Your goal every week is to go up one level. Any thought you feel that is less than the level you are at now, you dismiss that thought.

Example is you are at Discouragement, do not allow Jealousy, because that is lower.

Emotional Guidence Scale

If you are seeking complicated solutions to pacify your mind, I don't have them.



posted on Mar, 25 2009 @ 04:03 AM
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so you say the law of attraction,whatever i feel and want..i attract it right?
thanks,im better now i guess.



posted on Mar, 25 2009 @ 07:58 AM
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I once offered some advice to a lovely lady who was always upset that all her friends were coupled off and happy. She's a big girl, and was upset becasue she attracted people who wanted a fat girl, not someone who liked her for WHO she was. I told her the same thing I'm going to tell you.

STOP LOOKING.

If you're looking for it, it won't come. And the more dissapointed you'll be. Just go out without an interest on your mind, just go and be fun, enjoy your singledom. When people see you having fun, you automaticly become more attractive. When you're in a more realxed state, you become more attractive. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve, just be YOU.

When you're out "looking" for a potential relationship, it shows, and it'll scare people away. Just start going out with the mind set of someone who wants to have some fun and just let it all down. that way, you'll attract people who also like to have fun, and from there a relationship can best be built.

From me telling that lovely lady friend of mine, to now (gap of about 3 years) she's now in a stable realtionship, with someone who loves HER, not what her body looks like. And she always thanks me for it. Not that i take any credit, she's a complete babe, and she's way more than her large body could ever support. She found someone sho realised that, and so will you. You will find someone who appreciates you. I promise you. But you have to take a back seat, and let things just happen. Don;t force it, and don't "fall in love" with the first person to show an interest in you. That's a sure fire way to get them to back up.

Just be you, because that's all you can be. I wish you all the happyness in the world, I'm sure you deserve it, as does everyone. You just need to know how to get it. And now you do.

gay people give the BEST relationship advice, or so I've been told. And i'm about as bent as it gets, so please listen to me. The right woman is right out there, waiting for you to become yourself. Relax, and just let it be, do not force it.

Love and light to you, and may you live a long, happy life.



posted on Mar, 25 2009 @ 08:19 AM
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hmm ive heard of that..i was always angry>_< but now i guess you make sense,i should enjoy my new job,stop hitting on any girl and falling in love instantly an just take it easy and be my self,have fun?well thanks man i appretiate it...to tell u the truth if i dont get some love soon i will probably turn gay lol...):
but its allright
but arent many of the girls gonna take me as a "friend" if i dont flirt with them O_o
well its better now i have 2 new girl-friends,iguess ill just enjoy myself
its kinda hard u know..i have bi-polar disease,one moment i can beg for love,the other moment i can brake a girls desire to love me..plus sometimes
when girls act in a special way(dominating) i get kinda...crazy..):



posted on Mar, 25 2009 @ 08:38 AM
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Nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex. You may fancy them to start out with, but becoming friends with them may even show you that it wouldn't have worked anyway.

And Bi-polar isn't a desease mate, it's just the state of mind that you hold for now. And that can change. takr it as just a part of you, who you are. And run with it. Pretty much everyone has some sort of mental difference (don't like to say problem, becasue it doesn't have to be one) it's just another little thing that makes you, you. Go with it, don't fight it.



posted on Mar, 25 2009 @ 10:04 AM
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but arent many of the girls gonna take me as a "friend" if i dont flirt with them


Relationships that are first based on friendship can be far more rewarding than the instant love connection you seem to be seeking.



posted on Mar, 25 2009 @ 10:16 AM
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Originally posted by Stillalive
so you say the law of attraction,whatever i feel and want..i attract it right?
thanks,im better now i guess.


The secret is like a candy bar, and it gets people try try chocolate, however chocolate is used in many things.

One of the issues with The Secret, is that people do not know it came from a long tradition of channels from Jane Roberts by way of Seth, who influenced Ester Hicks to try channeling, and then made contact with "The Abraham". Those set, over 25 years gives insight to human emotion.

The Secret, which was produced using many of these concepts, and which Ester Hicks no longer is a part of, has instead given people of a certain emotion to maintain a vibration of cynicism and disbelief, to anything that sounds like The Secret.

And yes, your vibration is at cause, and it is anchoring your mind to a certain non-reality. Your cynical response demonstrates the problem. However you now have what you need, I know that, you asked for help, choose to accept it or not, free will is what it is.



posted on Mar, 25 2009 @ 10:32 AM
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i wasnt cynical..i really watched the movie i just asked (:



posted on Mar, 26 2009 @ 01:23 PM
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One of the issues with The Secret, is that people do not know it came from a long tradition of channels from Jane Roberts by way of Seth


The conversations with Seth are extremely enlightening, and the only thing I've ever found to be almost exactly in synch with my spiritual views... I'd highly recommend reading some of this material to those who are unfamiliar with it. Even if you disagree with the source and methods, the message is extremely interesting.



posted on Mar, 28 2009 @ 06:07 AM
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reply to post by Stillalive
 


Dude you think wayyyy to much and get yourself worked up about it.RELAX!
Chicks don't dig worry warts and moaners.Also is English your second language?Because if it aint than maybe girls shouldn't be your only concern.



posted on May, 13 2009 @ 05:09 AM
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Hey, I've just been dumped, what a bummer!!!!!

#est thing is, no explanation, I just came home and the house was empty, She said her anxiety and depression are getting her down and shes been spending more and more time at her mothers, I'll see if she contacts me although something seems to have gone awire, 5 years down the pan.

5 years of giving up #... for nothing, gonna reboot and go into safe mode for a while.



posted on Sep, 27 2009 @ 08:55 PM
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Put it this way, at your age, if you do find a girl you really like, she will eventually say that its been too long and you havent experienced other people. So if you find someone good now, they will break your heart later anyways. The best thing is to stay single now, better now than a divorce later. Dont look for love, it will come, but still at your age, try even harder to avoid it.



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