I've not been able to sleep tonight, so if I ramble, please forgive me.
Now, onto some thoughts and questions I have.
We all think we know who we are. Many of us are dead set in our beliefs, and many feel that life is a journey which doesn't end at death.
I'm a Catholic. I love my faith, but my views have grown wider then just Christian beliefs. Mainly reincarnation. I don't know if it exists or
not, but I'll be telling you why I believe it does in a few paragraphs down.
I'm Norwegian, but I've been raised in the United States. (Consider myself more American then anything else.) And since a very early age, I've
felt different. (No, not the *special* kind of different...)
Even to this day, I strive to set myself apart from others around me, I set goals that I know might be too high for myself to achieve, but I'd rather
die trying then not try at all and live.
This goes to the very root, core of my existence. Deep down to the inner core of *who* I am. I wrote *who* like that because at times I don't even
know who I am.
I'll tell you all a story about me still living in Norway. I was about four years old and my mother had taken me to the park so I could play. After
climbing about on playground equipment, I went to sit down. On the bench I was sitting at, I found an old plunger. I then sat and pretended that it
was a steering wheel to a car. From what I recall, almost instantly I was in or around 1910. I was sitting in a car puttering by some old
cobblestone street with Victorian styled houses to my right. While driving, I saw a lovely lady walk by in a white dress and a white umbrella. She
waved to me and smiled, almost like she knew me, I waved back and that was that.
Next thing I remember is looking at the plunger and feeling scared. All of a sudden the playground felt different and I ran to my mom and tried to
explain what I experienced.
The part about this is all the detail, from every nook and cranny, from how the car looked inside etc. makes me go "hmm" to this day. At age four I
didn't watch TV as we only had two channels and none of them sent any children shows. So my time was spent playing outdoors with my friends. So I
personally doubt that it was something I got off from the TV.
Now on to my second "remembrance". I was probably six or seven and now living in California in the mid 80's. (The 80's, a great time to be a
This is when I can first remember this. I'm at an open field with some sort of monument made of brushed steel, two maybe three pillars are there
with a shallow hole in the middle. There's a blackish car behind us, I'm with two other fellows who seem to want to hurt me.
I remember them leading me to the to the pillars, where one of them steps behind me and ends up hitting me hard. I fall into this hole, scared and
worried. I see the pillars close over me and I'm laying there in the dirt in the cold.
That's all I remember.
But after this, I've been attracted to big wide open spaces. I've also a fondness of brushed steel ornaments. It reminds me so much of the
"remembrance" that I feel completely at ease, bliss.
I have no clue when this was supposed to have happened.
Now for my last experience. I'm guessing this was around the 20's to the 40's. I remembering standing outside a dark wooden door knocking. I
hear someone say "come in!" and I step inside. To my front, there's a wall, to my left a closet and to my right a pathway into a living room. The
wallpaper is burgundy with a gold leafed design and right in front of you when you first step in is an old wall lamp. I take a right and walk into
the living room. It's smoky, and a guy in a suit is sitting on a dark red/burgundy coloured sofa with his feet on a big mahogany table. He's
sitting there smoking a cigar with another man standing to his right (my left) which is rather large (muscular) and feels like he's either there to
protect the sitting man or run errands for him. I get motioned in to come closer, I look at them both and I feel panic set in.
That's all I remember. I remembered this when I was around six or so.
This begs the questions, are these just a figment of an over-active imagination of a child? Or are they things that I remember from past lives?
All I can really say is that it has had a big impact on who I am, leaves a big question on who I was and leaves me standing with another question,
What do I need to do?
If this is indeed a remembrance of another life, maybe I'm remembering it to stop me from making the same mistake? Ending up in a situation which
could very well end my life?
It's left me in a place I don't like. I feel like no matter where I go, I don't belong. I keep looking for some where that I'll never find.
These feelings reach very deep inside of my soul.
Since I feel this is spiritual, I posted it here.
I look forward to some thoughts, opinions and helpful criticisms.