'Is the child Swarg's!'
Firing off each word like a shot, ending with his name an awful scream Silo fell back in exhaustion her head hanging over the side of the bed.
Creator but she felt like a fool yelling down at the floor. If she hadn't been so sick at heart she'd be laughing at the absurdity of it all. But
she was sick, and tired, and Carpet, after hours of explaining still hadn't given an answer she could accept.
Sighing she draped her arms over the edge of the bed dangling her fingers just out of the reach of the living tendrils writhing below. 'Carpet, why
are you making this so hard! Isn't it just as easy as a yes or no?
'Swarg is the babies father, yes. But, what I mean is, yes he is, in a sense...
' His words tight laced with a kind of duplicity.
'In a sense? Aghhhhh!' Lunging for an empty wine goblet from off the sideboard she threw it at the floor watching it bounce and roll to a stop,
fingers searching for something else to throw came up empty.
'Silo stop it!' Carpet snarled working his fibers in a knot where the cup struck him. 'Try to understand Silo, Swarg was beyond saving by the
time we got him away from Deez!' The true sorrow in his voice caught Silo by surprise until his words registered fully.
'Carpet! What are you telling me!' She screeched horrified, 'That I was making love to a dead being!' She rained curses down on her friend but
nothing hurt him so much as when her tears began to fall, fat wet drops from above.
'For Creator's sake Silo! He wasn't dead, No!' Carpet shouted back and began to tremble at how close she'd come to the truth. 'But Silo, you
were there! You saw what Deez did to Swarg! The damage that was done to him physically.' Carpet's words rang with horror. 'All that blood, the
crushing blows, the...'
Waving away the description of Swarg's vicious beating Silo choked back another bought of pain, and though he couldn't see her eyes they begged
Carpet to continue.
'Silo, Swarg was as near to death as any humanoid type can be without being completely dea...gone.' He tried in vain to gently his words.
'Then how!' She whispered fiercely. 'Tell me how!' And in the remembering her voice began to soften. 'Carpet, he was here, he came to me. He
was warm and he was alive and he was breathing.' Nuzzling her nose in the cushions she searched for something she wouldn't find. 'I could even
smell him!' She keened.
Jerking her head up her eyes scanned the room searching wildly as if any moment Swarg would step from a shadow to wipe her tears away.
Carpet, wanting so to hold her, to still her trembling, to whisper words of comfort for only her ears to hear felt a new wave of raw frustration and
rage wash over him bound there where he was on the floor beneath her feet.
'You want to know how?' Carpet restrained himself and chose his words carefully.
'Silo, when I pulled him out of the torpedo room I thought he was truly soul dead. But, Swarg had not yet separated soul, from body.' He paused as
the grizzly memory flashed before him. 'But he was so...broken
. At first I couldn't even tell if the divide had taken place but I searched
him, and knew there was enough of him left ... Enough so that I took a chance.' He stopped for a moment feeling spent.
'Go on...' She called down her voice void of anything but a demand for him to continue.
'So, I covered him with my life force... I 'infused' him with me, and then we came to you...' He spoke plainly but wondered at him own actions.
What had he thought in those moments, those nanoseconds lasting an eternity while he faced his decision to let Swarg's soul depart, or, to seize the
chance of a life time. To take the opportunity to be, even for a moment as a humanoid being. To rise and walk and talk and touch, to feel
a humanoid man?
And to do so for Silo? Or for himself? Carpet wondered if he'd ever be completely honest with himself in answering that question. He doubted he
'Infused him with 'you'?' Silo mimicked and scoffed, 'You mean you morphed into him and he became a convenient vehicle for you! That's it,
isn't it?' She spat, 'You had a chance to slip into Swarg's body, and you took it. Isn't that right Carpet?' She accused and hated herself
for being cruel.
Stunned at her accurate conclusion he froze, his life held in a balance. What he'd done with Swarg was punishable by death, a penalty until now
he'd not even considered. Not one fiber in the millions that covered the room moved while Carpet waited for what she'd say next.
'So,' she went on unaware of Carpet's fear, 'Fact is Swarg wasn't alive, but he wasn't really dead, so you crawled into his body simple as that.
Then you came here and he, you, we...' Jumping to her feet she trod back and forth across Carpet's surface. It was all she could do not to grind
her heel into her friend. Unreasonably she wanted to hurt him, wished him pain. But he probably couldn't feel anything anyway she sneered to
herself, then stopped short, the revelation rocking her back on her heels.
Carpet probably couldn't feel it anyway!
She repeated to herself soundlessly. Stunned the thought washed over her in a wave of
What unimaginable torture for Carpet to feel with a heart, yet not feel with a body! To be incapable to hold and touch, no lips to warm and bruise
against another's... To have a heart filled with love yet no hands to give and take pleasure, bodies to intertwine...
She couldn't imagine a life without touch and feel. She couldn't fathom love without caress, love sans the bliss of running fingers along warm
skin, the learning of your lover's body, touching here, there.
Love without fulfillment. Without the consummation of love and desire, not in so much as a single touch? The thought alone was horrific, and for her
friend must have been a living hell to endure.
Staggered with the epiphany Silo collapsed to the floor her fingers resting just a breath from the surface of the millions of tiny fibrilla that made
up her friend Carpet. Her heart knew what it was to love, her body what it was to feel. What right did she have to condemn her dearest Carpet for
wanting the same?
'That's it isn't it Carpet?' She whispered in awe. 'You wanted to feel.' The revelation amazed her.
'You wanted to be something you could never have been without Swarg's body as a host. You wanted to hold and give me comfort. To be held and feel
and be felt. To love.' A deep well of sadness opened in her soul.
'Carpet... I never knew you loved me so...' She thought but stopped the words from forming on her lips. Tears dripped down her cheeks falling on
him, while her fingers dug in to pull and twist at his silky strands, clenching, holding on for dear life.
'So my friend.' She smiled a watery smile. 'It was your life force in Swarg...' She stopped on a sob, the pain still too new.
Carpet waited before he replied marveling at her knowing, her understanding, and the male in him frightened by it, the depths a female being could
understand and forgive, for love.
'Yes. My life force mingled with his, but only a part. His 'anima' was present, he wasn't completely gone.' Carpet prayed she'd never ask how
little of Swarg was left, and how much of his own essence had been present.
'So, you gave him enough life force to fly out and save the Yydryl, and before he did, to give me a child.' Stated so matter-of-factly Carpet
wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly until he witnessed a sight that wrent him to his core. Silo's hand raised to splay against her abdomen in a
protective gesture natural to mothers.
'Yes.' Carpet's replied, his voice held marvel and wonder tainted with grief and sorrow.
'And the father? Who's the father?' They'd come full circle back to the same question but now she thought she knew the answer. Silo held her
breath then let it whistle out in a long sigh.
'The father Carpet?' She needed to hear him say it.
He sighed. 'We both are.'
A second whoosh of air escaped her lips followed by a hiccup of emotion.
'Well... I don't know what to say. I just don't...' One hand still pressed against her flat abdomen the other still clenched in Carpet's fibers
Silo chewed at her lower lip.
With new tears blurring her vision she pictured Swarg as she'd last seen him wondering as so many mothers do, if the child she carried would have his
[edit on 4-3-2010 by silo13]