more confusion from my ex wife....

so it started last sunday. i went over there to visit and wound up staying the night. then i stayed the next night and the night after. i didn't leave her house untill this past sunday. so i was there for a week straight.
as i was leaving she hande me 100 dollars to pay my phone bill and whatever else.
i stay at my house sunday night..then we get to talking again and i go over her house on monday and wind up staying. then the next night too.
today is wednesday and i just left. last night she handed me an envelope and there was 200 dollars in it. she gave me her state tax refund to help me get by.

i am very confused by all of this. i don't quite know what to make of it. we talked a bit and i told her i don't think i will ever recover and she said the same. i kind of hinted that we should get back together and she said lets just take it one day at a time.

is there a chance of us getting back together?
i sure hope so

I would just keep going with the flow of things. I could be wrong but it sounds really nice, better than being married.

Sounds like she is really in love, or she likes you a lot. Either way that's nice.

Do you have kids?

reply to post by Electro38


we don't have any kids together..my plan is just to go with the flow. however it does make it hard for me when i am back at home and not with her.
i just wish i knew how this was going to turn out

Financially, it seems silly to keep paying for a secondary residence when you're already staying there for a week...but she obviously wants you around...

Just be sure if you're doing more than "staying the night", that you use protection (or she does), so that there WON'T eventually be a kid involved...hmm?

Not knowing how it will turn out is part of the risk right? What's the worst that can happen? A broken heart? Weren't you already there? So, what's the problem? Enjoy it

reply to post by thing fish


It seems like you still spend a lot of time together, and it sounds nice (to me).

If it's feeling good, don't worry about the future so much. Just enjoy the fact that you're really still together on some level, and enjoying each other (I assume).

Are you guys enjoying the time you spend together? What is the time you spend together like?

reply to post by Gazrok


Good point there, maybe take extra care not to have a kid right now.

There are two houses? Are they rentals? Maybe you can rent a room or a small studio apartment if money's getting tight, and then spend as much time as you want with your ex, if it's feeling good that is.

About the future. I noticed that no matter what your plans are for the future, life doesn't seem to care much. I mean you can create your own path, but life always does its own thing in the process.

In other words if you're feeling good NOW, while spending time with her, then just revel in that. (Feeling good NOW is something everyone wants, but always think they have to wait for something to happen before they can feel good or be happy.

Feeling good NOW, is awesome, enjoy.

reply to post by thing fish


Recover from what? depression?


If there is a chance of getting together, you gotta make a 100% effort of feeling positive, make her see you've change, become more fun around her, take her somewhere fun.

Make her know she's not gonna end up regretting it, that's probably what's stopping her.

Peace.

[edit on 18-3-2009 by _Phoenix_]

Hey, good to see you. I was wondering where you've been!
Man, I have to agree with several of the previous posters. She obviously has feelings for you, and you've admitted here quite often that you still have feelings for her.

I can't tell you whether or not things can get back to the way they used to be between you, but it sounds like there is a chance.

Contact me via U2U when you get a chance if you want to talk.

Hey, what's up with you looking for an old flame (see threads) if everything is going cool with the ex?

I can relate to this man. he was rejected by his wife, but then she's trying to maintain some kind of relationship. He wants more. So you get lonely and try looking up people from your past.

I've done that too. Sometimes it works.

How long have you been divorced? Can you tell me why or if not, no biggie.

I have a theory, jsut need more info.

Originally posted by thing fish
as i was leaving she hande me 100 dollars to pay my phone bill and whatever else.

When a person is in need it is difficult not to accept.

I am just jumping in at this point, so I am just giving a quick read, I could be missing the point.

First, your phone makes makes you accessible, she is in control in some respects by paying.

Accepting that money also put you in a position of dependency, and further separates you from her. Being in a situation of accepting no money as soon as possible would promote your independence and her fear of total dependence.

My read. She cares for you. She may have guilty feelings, the source of which is unknown. Possibly she has issues relating to Males who are in a state of dependency, in that it lessens her comfort zone, many women today have this struggle, they say they want a man in touch with his feelings and there when they want them, but in primal wants something else.

Your mind is in control. It is in a state of confusion. Start to delve into your higher self and making that connection. Late at night, turn off theTV, and try to make contact with your higher self. Ask it to arrange a future with her if it is in both of your best interests. Then let it go, go to sleep. Wake up the next day and start rebuilding your life, find the joy in things, become completely independent, trust your higher self is handling it, stop all thoughts to the contrary.

That energy I suspect will put this back on track within a year, however there might be periods of separation, however the energy around your turn around will so curious to her she will be drawn to you, it will be your decision.

And secondly, you might choose not to go back with her, because when you experience this new energy you might attract a relationship even better, and in one year she might be on a forum saying the things you have said here.

Thing Fish, I think this link may be important for you to read. Good luck.