My apologies for ignoring this thread for so long. My mind has changed since I started it, which is to say I see things a little differently. Not
much, but every little bit counts
Maybe I can offer some insight into how it has changed.
Originally posted by teklordz
I cannot transpose my experiences to others for it would become a philosophy.
Thank you and I understand. I also share similar experiences so my understanding goes beyond words which is why I was most curious. It isn't a
thought or experience I've known anyone else to share.
Originally posted by AnAbsoluteCreation
Admitting fear will only perpetuate your obsession and intrigue. Compartmentalize this subject matter and eventually it will be gone, as it
If I put a shoe in a box, does the shoe disappear? Does it disappear once I forget where I put the box? No. The shoe still exists, waiting to be
found again. To "ignore" fear, to deny it even exists, is the same to me as denying the armies are advancing because they can't yet be seen.
To conquer fear, fear must be experienced. In doing so the mind learns appropriate mechanisms, or relearns them depending on circumstances, to
actually cope with fear.
Forgeting fear is a contrived ploy symptomatic of a society that fears being afraid as a sign of weakness and ineptitude.
Originally posted by AnAbsoluteCreationChange is the only form of growth, and suicide is the anti-change.
Death is change. This is without question. The question to me was, is defining the course of change the best course. Though more specifically to my
circumstances was the concern that I would be unable to define my course. Because I have reason to believe that apply only to me personally that
certain elements of my life a most definitely pre-destined.
The real question then becomes, how much control do I really have? Rather than disregard the fear the question can generate, I learned to stop asking
Since starting this thread some things have changed, but only my mind. Circumstances can be irrelevant if there is a willingness to demonstrate
emotional control. Or in my case, a release of control.
Fear is based on situations we can't control. In my life, my recent trials in control have stemmed from emotion, the most turbulent area of my
existence. By releasing the idea that I can demonstrate control over the emotional tides of another ("If I do this, they will like me, love me, hate
This is something I'm still actively working on.
Directly to the idea of suicide; it isn't a course I plan to take. As for have that course chosen for me, I also see this differently. To explain
would take a lot of time and words. And I'm already too wordy
Suffice it to say for the moment that I see it as an individual decision that each much face on their own, ultimately. It can be seen a desperate or
forsaking by those who remain with the hurt of loss. But for those in its depths, we can't always know their minds.
But I do know this: Death is not by far the worst thing we face in life.