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My question is: Are guys supposed to be the ones giving out the phone numbers first? This may sound stupid/silly/asinine, but I have never had a "true" relationship (I'm more of a loner, but this special friend has taken things to the next level).

For some reason, this feels weird, because around me, I see the guys being the ones to chase after girls and for me it seems that the roles got reversed (I am a guy). Argh, maybe I just need to be more social.

For the record, my parents had the whole "be a man and tell someone if you like them" ideology.

I'm just very confused. Any help/advice?

Disclaimer: I'm a theist but not of the Abrahamic faiths. I have minor biblical scholar and scriptural skills. Also I am not a scientific/legal or medical expert in any field. Beware of my Contagious Memes! & watch out that you don't get cut on my Occams razor.All of this is my personal conjecture and should not be considered the absolute or most definitive state of things as they really are. Use this information at your own risk! I accept no liability if your ideology comes crashing down around you with accompanying consequences!

Explanation: To answer your question directly....NO! Now as to providing some basis for my answer is that it's the 21st century and we're all equal when it comes to the relationship fandango!

Personal Disclosure: She obviously likes you enough to give you her No# so how about some tit for tat and you give her yours back! As to quelling your feelings of hurt machismo...well 2nd base might just have something Awesome to say about that "little feeling" and might just put it in a better perspective to view it from. and Good Luck!

I'm a little confused by your post. Do you mean that women are asking for your phone number instead of you asking for theirs?

Are these women that you are interested in? If so, then you're probably being too passive, and should go ahead and ask for a number before it gets to the point that she asks for yours. For what it's worth, my guy friends say that they've started to sometimes ask for email/Facebook/MySpace contact info instead of a phone number because women are more and more reluctant to put their personal phone number out there in a relative stranger's hands, but willing to go the email-chat-phone-date route.

If these are women that you're not interested in, maybe you're sending mixed messages?


edit to add: another technique that I've had guys use with me is to give me a card with their contact info on it. That way, they're technically doing the "hitting on", but I don't have to make the snap decision about whether this guy is creepy or interesting. And I can either call or email, depending on what I'm comfortable with. However, since I've never actually responded to one of these, I think it probably takes a lot of self-confidence because the rejection potential is pretty high.

[edit on 3/17/2009 by americandingbat]

reply to post by fossilera
Your "special friend" obviously likes you a lot and I wish you good luck and happiness in your relationship with her.I think that you're a bit nervous about taking things a step further but go for it! It really don't matter who gave who the number first. A lot of girls today take the initiative, not always a good thing but it's the way it goes nowadays.Personally I like a man to do the chasing----the thrill of the chase is such a BUZZ!

Originally posted by fossilera
My question is: Are guys supposed to be the ones giving out the phone numbers first? This may sound stupid/silly/asinine, but I have never had a "true" relationship (I'm more of a loner, but this special friend has taken things to the next level).

Well i don't think there is a set rule or a certain way it should be done.
If your friend has told you she likes you... that's great!!

do you feel the same way?

Would you like to take it a step further than friendship?

Your parents had a more traditional outlook on relationships and feelings, which is also great... but i personally think you should just do what you feel.

If you like her... tell her so and go for it... If you're a bit nervous or worried it will affect your friendship...also talk to her about that.
If she is a good friend, she will understand and may feel a little scared too.

Just be honest and talk to her.

I wish you all the best, if you have anymore questions or problems... I'm only a U2u away mate

Well i don't think there is a set rule or a certain way it should be done.
If your friend has told you she likes you... that's great!!

Exactly, there are no "rules" involved, just two people trying to get in contact with another, why complicate it more than it already is?

BTW, I've been married to my best friend for over 5 years now...best move I ever made, and hopefully, she'd say the same, hehe...

reply to post by Gazrok


Ditto. It doesn't matter. How ever it gets done, do it. She pursues you, you pursue her. Make no difference. Feel good about a girl chasing you, enjoy it!

[edit on 18-3-2009 by Electro38]

Originally posted by fossilera
(I'm more of a loner, but this special friend has taken things to the next level).

Tell this woman she has broken the rules, and promptly give her a copy of the rule book right away.

And tell her the next time she is attracted to the guy or has any kind of emotion such as sexual desire, that under no circumstances is she to act on it, and that quite possibly she has tainted any future with you.

I just cannot imagine these young women are not reading the rule books these days.