What's wrong with me?

I think I understand what you're going through. People can be superficial in many situations. You can either be yourself, or conform to these social standards. Both have their times and places. It's always good to be yourself, but if you're not careful when you need to play these social games, you could be burning bridges, cause tension in the work place, etc.


I'm not sure how to articulate this second part... but I'll try. I sometimes think there are different levels of consciousness or intelligence/understanding in all of us. The higher level you are, the more difficult it seems to relate to the rest of the population. Maybe I can explain with an analogy (it may not be the best).


1. There are people who do not understand what a math problem is.

2. There are people who understand what a math problem is, but don't care about the answer and therefore do not know the answer.

3. There are people who understand what a math problem is, have an interested in knowing the answer, but have great difficult finding the answer if ever.

4. There are people who understand what a math problem is, and can solve it, but don't care how it can be applied.

5. There are people who understand what a math problem is, and can solve it.

6. There are people who understand what a math problem is, can solve it, and apply it to other aspects of their life

7. There are people who understand what a math problem is, can solve it, improve on how it can be solved, and apply it to other ideas to improve upon them.

8. ...


Maybe I'm totally off base, in which case, ignore my post.

reply to post by CaptainCaveMan

They are nasty evil fake plastic selfish.

I'm going to cut and paste and save this *line* in (Thanks being to Steven King) my *memory warehouse*...
I'll tag it thanks to you.

Great line.


peace

reply to post by emeraldzeus


You've succintly articulated what I'm going through. I appreciate it.

After I shake this load off I'll emerge better and I'll be stronger about sticking to my guns. I guess I've been kinda worried about people seeing me as a prude or stuck up. (Both of which I've heard before). I guess since I spend so much time alone people think I'm aloof. I don't want to be judgemental and come across like I think I'm better than people. Its seems as if some are taken aback when I say "no" or when I am too specific about what you want and don't want. Little do they know Im so sensitive...its always an underlying reason for me being so picky. I don't understand why what I choose is such an issue to others.

How do I go about making decisions based on my intuition without offending or making others feel less than?

I hope the question makes sense. My thoughts are jumbled right now.

reply to post by Avarus


You are dead on as well. I just read the first paragraph of your post and its related to the questions I posed in my last post.

Yeah...

How to I be my self and play the game? How do I not alienate myself from others..because in reality I love everyone...I just can't stand to be around everyone... How do I function in the world with this highly sensitive nature?

i want to know the anwser to that question too.

How do i stay true to myself and not alienate myself or hurt others?
Social life is hard, i can't keep up appearances all day long.

reply to post by Avarus


I understood the second part. Its harder to relate but not hard to understand them. Its harder for them to understand me (us).

I dislike categorizing people in a linear fashion like that though. Its like 1 is greater than 2 and 3 is greater than 1 and 2... I don't think im better or greater than anybody else. Im not sure if that's the correct way of thinking though. Maybe some of us are more evolved than others and its a part of life. Even still, I don't want to get on some elitist ego trip.

Originally posted by crystalmind
Thanks to everyone's responses. I've always been a sensitive person and a loner (even in a crowd) but it seems like my sensitivity is heightened even more these days. And its only after I leave the presence of certain people and places. Im reeling from last night. Right now I feel like I've been in a physical fight. Its just terrible. I got a physical the other day and other than my iron being a little low im in great shape. Im a psych grad student (that doesn't make me an authority on anything) and I don't think I have any psychological problems to speak of.

Thanks again for all of your comments.

I have been this way - "sensitive to energy" - my whole life.
As a child I had to step out of parties - etc -

You can easily be both a recluse and a socially active person - it is good if you are both. The quiet times are for recharging. Think of yourself as a video camera battery. It isn't going to last forever - you can only do so much taping before it runs out. So - if you have to tape the whole day - You are not going to tape just anything - You are going to carefully choose how you use the battery. Carefully choose what you tape.

The draining takes place when a part of yourself knows the truth about the situations and/or the people you are in contact with. It's the knowing part of you. You may feel like you can see right through them and/or the situation.
You can - rejoice in that.

It may take some time to emerge fully and in the beginning it isn't without it's pain.
It gets easier.
You will not always be able to explain it to people - and you don't have to.

Be true to what you are feeling and recognize it is a very good thing.
Smile in silence and know that you are sensing truth -

We live in a world where comparing and competing are not only accepted but are promoted. It's a falsehood and our real selves recognize this.
You are witnessing a world that still does this.
You are simply sensing the void in the world.

Be well and be happy -
This is the beginning of true growth.

reply to post by spinkyboo


Yeah...

The knowing. Im finally seeing how naked everything is. And it makes me sad. There is joy in not knowing. Im looking for the joy in knowing. I suppose that's the growth you're talking about.

Originally posted by crystalmind
reply to post by spinkyboo

 

Yeah...

The knowing. Im finally seeing how naked everything is. And it makes me sad. There is joy in not knowing. Im looking for the joy in knowing. I suppose that's the growth you're talking about.

Thus the saying "Ignorance is bliss."

Energy Vampires.

This is a good article on them and what to do to protect yourself (there are many, many more, this is just one of them). Just google "energy vampire".

Slay your energy vampires: there are people who endanger your health by draining you dry and coming back for more. Learn how to empower yourself—and kick their vitality-sucking butts!

"Human beings are sources of energy, and every interaction involves an exchange of that energy," says Jon Gordon, author of Energy Addict. "Even if you're in great health, an energy vampire can cause you to feel exhausted."

Brief run-ins are sometimes dispelled with fresh air, extra-strength aspirin, or Double Stuf Oreos. But prolonged exposure may leave you feeling lethargic, disheartened, and weak. Over time, these noxious exchanges can increase your risk for fatigue, depression, headache, nausea, overeating, and conditions ranging "from ulcers to heart attacks," explains psychiatrist Judith Orloff, M.D., author of Positive Energy.

Edit to add: And I think the more you become aware of the plastic-ness of the world, the more you recognize and feel the energy vampire.

[edit on 8/3/2009 by Iamonlyhuman]

reply to post by crystalmind


There's no easy way to go about being yourself in those situations. To not do this could involve an uncomfortable amount of dissonance and doing it, candidly giving your impressions and acting in a way that's true to yourself, if not in agreement with the realities of those around you, will make them hate you, try to edit or embarrass you simply because you have eyes whereas they don't. Not that stupid people are evil, it's just necessarily how the metaphysics, or whatever you wanna call it, works.

edit - made me think of a depressing quote from The Thin Red Line:

"Everything a lie. Everything you hear, everything you see. So much to spew out. They just keep coming, one after another. You're in a box. A moving box. They want you dead, or in their lie... There's only one thing a man can do - find something that's his, and make an island for himself..."

[edit on 8-3-2009 by djr33222]

[edit on 8-3-2009 by djr33222]

Could be a physical or mental thing. For the latter, try taking vitamin b12. Don't ever take medications. Only Americans do that.

I always had problems like this my whole life. I think that there isn't much I can say that hasn't already been said before, so many here have nailed it on the head.

You are vibrating at higher frequencies and you can be profoundly effected by environments that promote the lowering of frequency. Avoid these places as often as you can. I had to do that and things are so much better now. I am much more productive.

In fact in the rare occasion I do go out to such places, I just laugh, as another had mentioned. Block it out, its hard, but meditation can help a lot. It can become very negatively intoxicating. Humans are very strange.

reply to post by djr33222

I disagree with part of this. CBT, cognitive behavior therapy, saved my life.

I used to be stuck in a negative loop, and I had agoraphobia, and panic attacks, and real bad social anxiety. It was not until I began positive thinking(it took over a yr to break the 35 yr cycle of negative thinking) that my anxieties vanished. So I never discount CBT.

I too can feel others energy, and energy is 'catching'. My coworker is negative, and I had to 'double' up on my positivity to repel her negativity. I prefer to avoid these kind of people, myself.

OP, if I were you, I would not totally rule out seeing a dr, or therapist, but learning and practicing simple breathing techniques can work wonders, as well as positive thinking. I hope you get some relief soon.

The same thing happens to me when I'm around people with increased energy... or those trying to forcefully shove their aura down my throat.

Try finding an outlet for it, I agree with plucky though, first go to the doctor, because it could be something serious...

Try to find an activity that uses up a lot of energy to accomplish. More dancing, a sport of some sorts, a daily walk, all these will help send the energy out somewhere else, rather than in your own body where it can, and will build up if you don't do something about it.

I don't think that there is anything wrong with you. In fact, I think that ATS is probably full of people like us.

As for me, I tend to spend a fair amount of time alone because like George Carlin, I have a very low tolerance for stupid BS and small talk

For instance, I'm at university at the moment and all I here, all day, every day from everyone is 'Did you go out last night'. It is impossible to have a meaningful deep conversation with anyone.

In fact a few months ago the news came on the TV in thehalls that I stay in. It was the story about finding methane on mars and the possibility of life therefore existing there. There were about 7 other people in the halls and not one of them gave a damn. In fact, they turned it over to some soap. Needless to say, I left the room in total disgust and logged on to ATS

Yeah, another here with social anxiety, and that is what it sounds like OP although I can't be sure, just giving my humble opinion. I can only stand to be around what we are calling these "superficial" people so long. I hate the feeling of "playing along" that is what it is like to talk to them. I was mentally drained after my first year at college, and it wasn't the work; that comes relatively easy to me.

I can sense who they are, sometimes without even speaking to them. I just know. I only hang around with a small, tight knit group of friends mostly but we know each other so well we practically know what the other is thinking or feeling half the time. It's cool. And they definitely have positive energies that make me feel welcome I guess you could say. As opposed to "other" people. Not necessarily just strangers, just certain people make me uncomfortable.

I've only went to a bar once after my 21st birthday (I'm 21). I'd rather pick up a bottle of stoli and take shots and play cards with my friends with some good classic rock playing. Clubs just sound dumb to me.

Just do what you want to do. Don't feel like you have to do anything in particular. It's your life.

reply to post by Barla Von


Yeah you hit the nail on the head. I thought colleges were supposed to attract intelligence. In fact all people care about is getting wasted/laid and then making tons of money once done (since their parents have money, those are the values they learned I .suppose) Even people I went to high school with that went there changed for the worse. I think I lost IQ points being around them for so long.

Can bacteria exist solely on methane? Perhaps they could generate heat to melt polar or subterranean ice for water?

And yeah, George Carlin was one of those people who just gets it. And was funny as hell while getting it.

[edit on 9-3-2009 by CapsFan8]

I've had similar experiences. Over the years I've learned to deal with larger gatherings a little better, but they're still not my favorite. I don't know really how to describe it other than shielding myself a bit in public and not letting everything in. My natural inclination is to soak up everything like a sponge, but it's really hard to process all of that information and can leave one feeling quite overwhelmed.

And as for being "aloof", maybe the person sticking that label on you is just more extroverted than you are and doesn't really understand. Hard to say.

Find what makes you comfortable!

Originally posted by Iamonlyhuman
Energy Vampires.

This is a good article on them and what to do to protect yourself (there are many, many more, this is just one of them). Just google "energy vampire".

Slay your energy vampires: there are people who endanger your health by draining you dry and coming back for more. Learn how to empower yourself—and kick their vitality-sucking butts!
[edit on 8/3/2009 by Iamonlyhuman]

I agree with empowering but not by kicking any butts except maybe your own. It's such a shame the majority of people don't take the idea of aura/spirit energy serious and do more study about it.

Most people have a very simple concept of energy transfers, like it is water - you have some and someone else has less and takes it out of you like it is some finite, physical something. Those who think most high of themselves believe they are like an oasis in a desert; someone with a better than average quality of energy amidst people with lesser who (ignorant as they are) whom then drain theirs. Energy is a very fascinating subject and has many possibilities.

Once I was accused of zapping people's energy on purpose like an energy vampire. I told that person I would never "suck " such contaminated energy as hers, I would much rather tune into any nearby tree and suck it's pristine clear energy. Afterall, it's the same with breathing air, would you rather have the air which went through 10 people's bodies or straight from the source?

What I also find peculiar with people stating they are receiving all kinds of impressions (when in busy places) is that of those who do, the men rarely seem to realize they are manifesting a very feminine quality, to receive as opposed to the male quality of giving.

Those males in a club who are 'givers' (giving attention to women who receive) can somehow sense those males who don't do the same, hence are not part of "the group" (those who 'hunt' the women) and will send out all kinds of rejection signals, very subtle bodylanguage or look in the eye.

The subconscious picks these signals up but the mind doesn't understand and keeps searching for a reason, sometimes ending up with some vague newage energy explanation that seems complex but kept superficial. All of these impluses picked up by the subconscious drains the mind which tries to decypher them, leaving one mentally fatigued and mistakes that for bodily fatigueness (it all feels real doesn't it?).

[edit on 11-3-2009 by Dragonfly79]