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Short story - Haze

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posted on Feb, 27 2009 @ 04:47 AM
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I arrived at the funeral late. The rain had set in and turned the passable Saturday afternoon to grey; fitting for the occasion.

There were so many faces on all sides, smothering me with kind words and gestures. I had seen them all before, but names escaped me. My head began an automatic rhythm, autopilot. It nodded at all her friends. It gave knowing looks to relatives. It did the job my conscious mind was not up to doing.

I can’t even remember a word of the service. It was if language had lost its meanings. The robed man spoke with disjointed sounds and syllables. The music though, it was lovely. In stark contrast to the garbled messages prior, the song broke through the haze.

She had always loved that song. God knows why. Another song with meaningless words and mediocre tune, but it was her song. She gave it meaning. As sudden as it had started, the song stopped and the haze grabbed the opportunity to reform.

Home; the autopilot was taking a break. Those faces were back, and had become clearer. She would’ve been happy to see them.

It wasn’t long and they all left. I think it was obvious I wasn’t really there. The sky had cleared outside, but the haze remained.

I went to bed then, not knowing what else to do. I think the autopilot had returned from his break, and was once again at the controls. I didn’t remember falling asleep.

A smell woke me, sharp and intrusive; smoke. Why I didn’t get up, I don’t know. It just seemed right to lay there, breathe it in.

I wonder if the faces had known how far away I really was. They had cooked some simple finger foods for the wake and had left the oven on when they left. Perhaps they thought I would know to turn it off. Perhaps they knew it was what I wanted.

That song is on repeat now. Such a simple tune, but she gives it meaning. And we sing along together.



Don't know where the inspiration for that came from, it just kind of flowed onto the page. Yes, it is very short. Yes, it is probably badly written. Thanks for reading, regardless.




posted on Feb, 27 2009 @ 05:02 AM
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"Badly written"?! I hope I am not breaking the T &C here, but are you totally insane?


This was beautiful - and VERY well written! A very well composed, touching story. A story that tells just as much by what it is NOT telling. Thank you so much for letting me read it. I loved it.



posted on Feb, 27 2009 @ 05:27 AM
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Very nice. Very poetic.

Good narrative, and even better prose.

I'd love more.



posted on Feb, 27 2009 @ 05:45 AM
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Nice story!!

Keep up the great work and post more!!

Would mean something to people who have lost a loved one. Very deep and accurate.

Thanks



posted on Feb, 27 2009 @ 02:28 PM
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Thanks for the kind words


I had a very strange night after writing that. I came down with a fever and had uncontrollable shaking in my limbs and even though it was 25 degrees Celsius I had to have all my blankets up to my neck.

At one point I tried to get out of bed and my legs uncontrollably flung me into a wall... so that was great fun.

Dunno if I'll write a story that forces it's way out of my head again If I get ill soon after



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