What Headline would you most like to see on the front page of your newspaper?

Originally posted by Unmask The Deception

"Bilderberg Group Members Suffer From Terminal Flesh-eating Virus"

Hear hear!

Also, hello ATS! Long-time lurker, first-time poster.


I love this thread.

Originally posted by mooglepie

Originally posted by Unmask The Deception

"Bilderberg Group Members Suffer From Terminal Flesh-eating Virus"

Hear hear!

Also, hello ATS! Long-time lurker, first-time poster.


I love this thread.

Welcome! What would your headline be?

Originally posted by sir_chancealot
I was going to answer this one honestly. But I've learned something here on ATS.

Always look at the date someone registered before responding.

Government agent looking for free info, anyone?

LOL, you saying I am a govt agent?

Got to love the clinically paranoid

My headline has already been mentioned several times over, but what the hey.

Congress Reads Constitution, Obeys

reply to post by johnny2127


"WE ARE NOT ALONE"

"Haika won the Powerball LOTTO !!! "

(I wish...)

Obama’s coming to town! Get your free T-shirts!

[Second liner, here...]

"New Zealander Saves The World! And Holds A Massive Worldwide Party, Then When Everyone Is Hungover He Makes Himself World Leader". HA HA HA HA HA

[edit on 25-2-2009 by paddz420]

reply to post by tac109


Id vote for that!

ZOMBIE OUTBREAKS ALL OVER THE WORLD!

reply to post by johnny2127


There are so many answers I could offer, some funny, others not so much... I guess mine would have to be Bill Hicks positive drug story,

"Today, a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration — that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There's no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we're the imagination of ourselves. Here's Tom with the weather."

Or maybe something along the lines of "Scientists Discover Disease that Only Infects Billionaires" not that all billionaires are bad, but we'd have a heck of a lot less suffering in this world if we had fewer greedy rich people in positions of power...

Or an April 1st Newspaper that says "Global Nuclear Holocaust, story continued on A8" and then you turn to A8 and it says April Fools, that'd be great

"News papers found to cause cancer. Sorry."

Free limitless energy has been invented and open for everyone to use. And as a bonus 100% clean to the environment.

^^ That would be the best thing to ever have happened to mankind and the earth overall.

Originally posted by Titen-Sxull
reply to post by johnny2127

 

Or maybe something along the lines of "Scientists Discover Disease that Only Infects Billionaires" not that all billionaires are bad, but we'd have a heck of a lot less suffering in this world if we had fewer greedy rich people in positions of power...

Well... usually billionaires are bad if you are not one of them

GLOBAL CONSPIRACY PROVES REAL

Common People of the World Unite to End Crisis and bring about Peace.

Uniting of Common People Worldwide Brings about End to World Governance Domination.

Uniting of Common People Worldwide Brings an end to Needless Wars.

I could go on forever with this one
But seriously if the average person was in charge these criminals would have been in jail a long time ago. People everywhere are fed up with the back and forth of corupt politicians and Governments ,the out come is obvious. Until they get it choas is going to reign!

"Intelligent life found on...Earth!"

Originally posted by Zugzwang
"Intelligent life found on...Earth!"

LAWWWWWWL!!! AT THAT!!!!

Nah, our species tend to hind inside the masses

BREAK THROUGH IN SCIENTIST'S RESEARCH : theOmen is the MOST awesome person ever.....

Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Pearle, Rice, Libby and Gonzales Arrested and Are Awaiting Trial for HIgh Crimes and Treason!

Democratic Members of the House and Senate from Pelosi on Down Sweating Like Whores in Church Over Their Own Complicity.

PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE ANYTHING IN A NEWSPAPER HEADLINE
Editor 'Familiar' with Irony

-or-

NEWSPAPER CAUSES CANCER: STUDY
Details inside