60 plus generation

Originally posted by deathpoet69
so he would of been lost in a black hole?

you could say that.

just a thought, does he switch to griping about injustices leveled against him soon after you talk to him about either getting out more or talking about your childhood?

it could be that he needs some form of acknowledgment for the good job he has done in raising you on his own despite the challenge. often, men need to acknowledge a job done before they can move on.

perhaps the meaning of all this griping is that he wants someone to say "good job, well done, pat on the back, lets go for a pint."

just a thought.

Originally posted by pieman

Originally posted by deathpoet69
so he would of been lost in a black hole?

you could say that.

just a thought, does he switch to griping about injustices leveled against him soon after you talk to him about either getting out more or talking about your childhood?

it could be that he needs some form of acknowledgment for the good job he has done in raising you on his own despite the challenge. often, men need to acknowledge a job done before they can move on.

perhaps the meaning of all this griping is that he wants someone to say "good job, well done, pat on the back, lets go for a pint."

just a thought.

to your question, yes he dose, I have said to him i understand everything but yes ill try and say you have done a good job and take him to the pub but even then, if i took him to the pub he would bring it up, he dont bring it up all the time, only when certain things are brought up say for example finances

i don't mean you should take him to the pub, i mean you should bear in mind that when he gripes he's saying "i need to be told i did a good job".

if you say, "yeah, that sounds like a killer. you did well to manage it and we came through okay,, well done" he'll feel better and respond better to what you wanted to talk about in the first place.




[edit on 23/2/09 by pieman]

Originally posted by pieman
i don't mean you should take him to the pub, i mean you should bear in mind that when he gripes he's saying "i need to be told i did a good job".

if you say, "yeah, that sounds like a killer. you did well to manage it and we came through okay,, well done" he'll feel better and respond better to what you wanted to talk about in the first place.

i get what your on about now, but wundt he still contuine the next time or would i need to repeat you done a good job

if you tell him he doesn't have enough friends or talk about money he probably feels critisised and gets defensive and closed down, so he gripes to cover it up. he might feel easier if you make him feel good about himself as well as saying what you want to say.

just say something positive about him whenever he gripes, eventually he'll regain his confidence and he'll need the support less and less.


[edit on 23/2/09 by pieman]

Originally posted by pieman
if you tell him he doesn't have enough friends or talk about money he probably feels critisised and gets defensive and closed down. he might feel easier if you make him feel good about himself as well.

just say something positive about him whenever he gripes, eventually he'll regain his confidence and he'll need the support less and less.

Finances I guess i do put him down a lot, and don’t respect him, i just see him as a old man and can not do anything for himself such as him hitting his head on the wall and i shout out to my wife his hit his head but his very able because he travels to Norway, Ireland, France etc on his own so i think i underestimate him and i think maybe he needs to feel like his done a good job from me and should be proud, i think i understand now were your coming from. Its just sometimes i see that to me, his not normal because he don't speak like a man in a way i perceive it to be, he don't use violence although he is friendly when someone says hi, he seems to get on with some people at were he use to work but dose not socialise with them but he can make a conversation with someone his own age.
I try to impress him with my new found muscles but he says show off and all muscle no brain etc, he also starts picking at things such as words like if i say a word hell say do you know what that means? i guess his teaching me in that way in his own way maybe i should respect him a bit in that way, he was reading ats last night out of curiosity because i was on it which i let him do.


[edit on 23-2-2009 by deathpoet69]

reply to post by deathpoet69


You may have a point about the women being more open,

It is good to hear he is beginning to trust your wife,

Yes, trust is something that is earned. She must be very special.

reply to post by deathpoet69

i get what your on about now, but wundt he still contuine the next time or would i need to repeat you done a good job

Poet, sometimes we just have to love and accept people for who they are, we cannot feel their pain or suffering.

Sometimes older men are to proud to let anyone in, to them it is a sign of weakness, and now with getting older he may be looking more to his mortality and regrets of the past and dwelling on them.

A life time of hard work and for what?

It is hard looking back, with not much left to the future,and the child looks upon the unfulfilled life of the parent.

Printing out some of the stuff you want him to know is a good idea, but I can see potential problems with that too since they'll just be printouts from some website. I suggest getting the ATS book Jim Marres published, and maybe finding some other good books online to lend him.

Another idea would be to download some movies like some Alex Jones stuff, Money Masters, Creature from Jekyll Island etc

Originally posted by pieman
the attitudes were different, it would have been harder for a man to understand his partner leaving him and his child and there wouldn't have been the support networks that are available today.

just to let you know i told him i was proud of him

reply to post by deathpoet69


good stuff, well done, did he take it on board, do you think?

Originally posted by pieman
reply to post by deathpoet69

 

good stuff, well done, did he take it on board, do you think?

he seems a lot happier now thanks for the advice i really appreciate it, i will add you as a friend and try to ask you for any other advice, i am taking him to Greece or turkey to look at some ancient buildings i want to try and teach him about history and get him interested in what am interested in.