Questions for parents who homeschool

I have recently began contemplating pulling my son out of school to start homeschooling him. He isn't having any problems with the material, but he's having a bit of difficulty containing himself long enough to wait for the teacher to call on him. So rather than have him labeled as difficult or a trouble maker for the rest of his school career, something that I know will cause teachers to think badly of him before they even meet him, my line of thinking is that it is better to home school him until he is better able to control himself. Once he is able to do so I will likely re-enroll him, but I haven't reached a firm decision about it yet. Before doing so I wanted to get the opinions of my fellow ATS'ers about home schooling.

For those of you who have or currently are homeschooling your children what ultimately caused your decision to do so? Did, or will, your children attend public or private school after being home schooled? How did you go about choosing one curriculum over another?

I've looked into the laws for my state and there aren't really that many guidelines aside from keeping attendance records, that they must be attending school or be in a home school program the fall they turn 7, and that while their education must be equivalent to that they would receive in a public school there aren't any state laws that define what is equivalent and what is not. Obviously I don't want him to be behind if we do decide to re-enroll him in public school later on so I want to make sure that I have my bases covered.

So what advice can you give someone who is thinking about homeschooling their child? What should I do or be aware of that I haven't already asked about above? Any help you all can give is greatly appreciated!

reply to post by Jenna


My gut reaction is, don't do it.

This is something that he is going to need to learn to control, in and out of school. Every kid needs to learn impulse control and I think it will be easier to teach him this now, instead of later on if you keep him out of school a few years. DOn't worry, it won't turn him into a NWO worker drone.

I don't think keeping him away from school is going to help him.

I'm saying that as a kid who was homeschooled, admitadly.

It is a BIG commitment for you and there were a LOT of ways in which I felt homeschooling was not the best education so I would reccomend you don't take him out ove r"a little bit" of trouble.



[edit on 21-2-2009 by asmeone2]

I'm not worried about him being a worker drone. I just don't want his impulse control to cause the school to put him in special education classes when there's nothing wrong with him aside from being a typical 6 year old boy and having too much energy to sit still for four hours while only getting one 15 minute break. He does need to learn to control it, but I'm not sure that the school is the right place for him to be doing so.

They have apparently put a divider around his desk without informing me so that he won't talk to the other children during class, and they moved him to a different class room for two days without informing me because he can't stay quiet long enough for them. The only reason I even know about either is my husband went to eat a doughnut with him last week when they had a "Doughnuts for Dads" day and my son came home the next day telling me they moved him to a different class because, and this is in his words, "cause I talk too much." Needless to say, I'm not very happy with the school at this point.

But, I don't want to rush into this either because I know it will be rough, especially at first.


Edit to add: I have talks with him on almost a daily basis about how he needs to raise his hand and wait quietly for the teacher to call on him, and how he needs to listen so he can learn, and how he needs to stop talking to the other kids because they can't learn either if he's talking to them, but it's apparently not doing much good. They just segregate him or send him to a different room if he talks.

[edit on 21-2-2009 by Jenna]

reply to post by Jenna


It sounds like your objection is much more the school's reaction, then?

Maybe just keep at them, ask and demand to be part of the discipline?

Look into what the legalities are.
You may find that, unless he is actually hurting someone, they have no legal recourse to put him in another class or separater without your conscent.

Jenna, my story is very simular in that my wife and I have been thinking of making the switch to home school. I was laid off from work and it just seems like the perfect time to give it a shot. I too am very interested in the input of other parents...so I very look forward to the responses to your thread. Thanks for taking the initiative to ask. I do however feel that the only way we'll know if it's the right thing for our individual children is to actually try. The thing to remember is that they can always return to public school if it doesn't work out. Good luck!

reply to post by asmeone2


Yes and no. I do object to them putting up a divider around his desk and switching him to another class without having the courtesy to at least inform me that they were doing so. But I also realize that he hasn't outgrown his impulsiveness yet and he needs to stop disrupting class or no one will be able to learn. So really, it would be helpful to not only him but also the entire class if I were to homeschool him until he is better able to control himself.

I have gone to the school twice this year and called his teacher at least five times and he is only in kindergarten. None of it has helped. It doesn't give me much hope for the next twelve years if I don't nip the problem in the bud now. I can remember from my own school days how those who were deemed "trouble makers" by one teacher were treated differently from the rest of the students by every teacher from that point forward.

reply to post by Tunatarian


I agree. Each child is different so I may begin homeschooling him only to find that it is harder for him to focus at home than at school, in which case I would re-enroll him so that he receives an education.

Hi I am sorry to hear about your sons problems at school. It can be aggravating.
I homeschool my 4 kids. 15 13 12 and 7. Believe me it is more than a fulltime job. I love every minute I have put into and would not want to send them back to public school unless we had no other choice but it is not for everyone.
I am not sure where you are as you do not state but my state laws read like yours. Here they require no testing but I test my kids on a regular basis. I like knowing they are at or above where they should be or it lets me know in what areas we need to work on.
We had a variety of issues with our kids which brought on the need to pull them out of the public school. We moved to a new town. The kids adjusted quickly and made friends right away but it was the type of kids here in the town and the teachers that poised problems for us. Our 12 year old son is a high functioning autistic and they were not equipped to deal with him even 2 years into being here. He would spend 80% of his day in front of a computer with headphones on so he did not disturb the rest of the class.
Now the reason why they said he was disturbing the class was because he did not understand the material and so he ask a lot of questions. They said it slowed the other kids down. So we knew we could give him a much better chance at a good life then they were going to.
The junior high here is full of drugs and sex and we did not want the kids exposed to that on a daily basis. We did give it a try with our oldest but the stories we were hearing coming from her and her friends gave us nightmares so one day we pulled all 3 and have been homeschooling since.
I had my kids tested in August of last year and 3 rank a year ahead of where they should be and my son has went up 1.6 grade levels in the last year so we are slowly catching him up.
When we first brought them home the first 2 months was the hardest and we almost gave up. We took 30 days off from all learning activities to let them get out of the habits of school. That was all it took for them. It has taken awhile to get into our own routine but we are finally there. It is a long hard process but the reward for us has been worth it.
We also have support from a local homeschooling group. They go on field trips and have various classes which we do occasionally add. We use the local girls club for sports activities and such.
In my few years of doing this though I have seen many parents pull thier kids out to homeschool and they are just not able to do it. Then the kids return to school 2 months or more later and have learned nothing while at home and that adds to the complications of whatever they were dealing with before because now they are behind.
I will not sit and tell you what is best for your family as that is up to you to decide. Only you know what is best. Sometimes if you have explored every avenue with the school and there is nothing else you can do and you know you have the heart and dedication to make it work then go for it. But don't do it unless you meet all 3 of those. Otherwise it will never work for your family.
We bought our curriculum until this year and now we make our own off of the states standards. While it has taken me hours to do for 4 kids it will be worth it for us. Hope this helps some. And good luck.

reply to post by mommy4life


Thank you for your post! Sounds like you have your hands full homeschooling four kids. When you were buying your curriculum, how did you go about choosing one?

Some children that are homeschool seem to turn out fine I guess it depends on the parents, I have also seen and hung out with people that where home schooled and they where social awkward and really didn't undertand some social concepts you learn in elementary / high school.

I would keep your child in the school and then do some extra learning at home when there is free time. If the kid has so much energy have them go outside and run around.

You are welcome. As far as how we chose it was chance the first year. Another couple we knew used lifepacs and so we read up on those and used them the first year. It was a fairly easy way to start and gave us time to research other types. The second year we used lifepacs for everything but Math and used Saxon as we felt it worked better for the kids. We now have it so we can go in and purchase books from our local schools. My aunt works in administration and talked to someone for us to set this up. That way if there is certain subjects we want to follow closely on with the schools we are able to do so.
It really is personal preference and what will work best for your child. My youngest did K last year and we used an online one ummm time4learning I think is what it was called. We paid under 20 a month and printed out the worksheets they offered to supplement what she learned. I think it was wonderful as she loves being on the computer and after her daily lessons they have a playground online which offers a ton of learning games and the parents can set how long the kids can play there and then it logs them off.
We also carry an odd schedule. We don't always do school during the day and not always mon-fri. Sometimes we have it in the evenings and sometimes we play hookey during the week and will make it up on the weekends if there is no plans or activities. We really enjoy the freedoms it offers us as a family.
As far as social skills I do know some parents who do not offer enough or the right enviroments for that and that can harm them farther down the line once they are in college or in the workplace. I can say though my kids have no problems with that aspect. They are people persons or however you would word that
Like I said before it takes a lot of dedication and making sure you are covering everything including the social aspect.

Originally posted by Jenna
reply to post by asmeone2

 

I can remember from my own school days how those who were deemed "trouble makers" by one teacher were treated differently from the rest of the students by every teacher from that point forward.

I totally agree with you on that one.

That is exactly what happened to my stepson. Admittedly he did have problems with (female) authority, because of his very poor relationship with his mother, but after having problems with one (female) teacher in particular, it followed him year after year, with some teachers starting out targeting him in the very beginning of the school year.

I tried to point out to him that teachers are human too, and they do talk to each other about kids they perceive to be "troublemakers". I even suggested that he could talk to the teacher however he wanted in his HEAD, but he should go out of his way to be nice in person.

Nothing helped and eventually we allowed him to switch to an "alternative" school where the class sizes were smaller, and he had more of an opportunity to be "in charge", which was the behavior that was getting him in trouble.

He actually thrived at that school and ending up graduating from high school instead of dropping out, which was what he was heading for.

Maybe some type of alternative school would be a good fit for your son if the homeschooling option doesn't work out.

Good luck, and I hope you find a solution that will work for you and your son.

ANd of course if you haven't already, look into your son's diet, some of the things kids eat can really make them hyperactive and this might be an issue with him.

Originally posted by asmeone2
ANd of course if you haven't already, look into your son's diet, some of the things kids eat can really make them hyperactive and this might be an issue with him.

Very good point and one I had not thought of. Our son does not tolerate sugars well at all so we have slowly switched all of our diets over to his. It has made a huge difference in how often he has outburst. Oh and red food dye. Very bad for our son.

Originally posted by mommy4life

Originally posted by asmeone2
ANd of course if you haven't already, look into your son's diet, some of the things kids eat can really make them hyperactive and this might be an issue with him.

Very good point and one I had not thought of. Our son does not tolerate sugars well at all so we have slowly switched all of our diets over to his. It has made a huge difference in how often he has outburst. Oh and red food dye. Very bad for our son.

Yeah many cases of ADHD(the real cases, not the lazy parent ones:@@ can be cured by something as simple as that.

I've struggled with the idea of homeschooling our children, but Canada has a few different laws that makes it difficult.

I would suggest maybe finding another school for him that would be better suited for his particular needs. It's the schools responsibility to educated these children and help them solve their behaviour issues.

School is a place of academic, as well as social learning and schools usually (in Canada anyway) have multiple resources to deal with these kind of issues and to to help children achieve through one on one support as well as constructive activity in the home aswell.


Best Of luck
~Keeper

Homeschooling is a hard choice. IMO, I would talk to the school and the teacher, and simply make sure they understand what his deal is and take their time with him. Something I always noticed about homeschool kids is that they also tend to be behind in their social skills. I went to an advanced high school and we had alot of home school kids who it was their first time being at a real school. It took until their junior or senior year for most to really start becoming part of the group and coming out of their shell. You should also consider that when deciding to home school.

Another thing is, do you think you have the qualifications to teach your kids.

reply to post by mommy4life


I will have to look into those. Thanks for the suggestions!

reply to post by sezsue


That's what I am worried about. He's really not a bad kid he just has trouble sitting quietly as long as they expect him to. He's always had a lot of energy, and he listens to me for the most part, but his teacher isn't having much luck getting him to listen. I don't want him being labeled from now on as a bad kid when he isn't.

Unfortunately he's too young and not in enough trouble for the only alternative school we have in our area. The only one we have is reserved for the kids who cause major disruptions and/or fight a lot. He doesn't do either, he just likes to follow his teacher around the room until she stops ignoring him and responds.

reply to post by asmeone2


I've taken to cooking from scratch more and rarely let him have sweets or sodas because he's hyper enough as it is. Once he has a coke I want to pull my hair out. I recently had to throw out every piece of candy in the house because I discovered he was being sneaky and hiding candy in his closet so he could eat it at night without me knowing. That was over a month ago though and I haven't allowed a single piece back in the house since then and he is still having problems paying attention at school. He's a good kid, he just needs to sit still and listen so he can learn.

reply to post by tothetenthpower


I had thought about switching to a different school, but the tuition they would charge us in addition to paying for books and meals makes it financially not an option. I can't remember the exact cost but I think it's close to $800 to drive him five miles up the road to a different school district for kindergarten. That may not seem like much but being a one income family it could put us in a bind.

reply to post by FSBlueApocalypse


Like I said a few posts up, I've been up there twice talking to the teacher and principle and have called the teacher numerous times since the beginning of the school year. I have thought about the social angle, and it does concern me. Fortunately my best friend has a daughter who is two months older than my son and they play together frequently, so that will help though it won't completely prevent any social issues from forming. My plan at this point is to homeschool him long enough for him to gain better control of himself so that he can be in a classroom setting and not disrupt.

As for qualifications, I have an associates and am working on my bachelors and am maintaining my 3.4 GPA while taking care of two small children full-time. It's not in childhood education, but I can very easily add a few classes in it as electives if needed. I think I'm qualified, but I'm biased in my favor.

reply to post by asmeone2


I've taken to cooking from scratch more and rarely let him have sweets or sodas because he's hyper enough as it is. Once he has a coke I want to pull my hair out. I recently had to throw out every piece of candy in the house because I discovered he was being sneaky and hiding candy in his closet so he could eat it at night without me knowing. That was over a month ago though and I haven't allowed a single piece back in the house since then and he is still having problems paying attention at school. He's a good kid, he just needs to sit still and listen so he can learn

Not to press the issue but if he is that hyper and has that strong of a craving for sweets you might consider taking him to a doctor and seeing if he has a mineral or enzyme inbalance. That could save you both a lot of trouble.

Other than that I would still not homeschool him. I would sit him down and tell him, he needs to be more disciplined. it is his choice.

I would make a reward system. You know, maybe give him stickers for every good day or compliment he gets, then he can earn special toys or favors for a number of stars?

Just something to give him a tangible reason to want to calm down.

reply to post by asmeone2


I thought about that too. I took him about two weeks ago and had all of his blood work done to make sure there wasn't something going on there that was causing his behavior at school and everything came back normal. I'm supposed to take him back in a few months to check it again and make sure everything is still normal.

I've tried rewards and he did really well with it for awhile, but then he just went back to not listening at school. Nothing has changed here at home aside from me cutting down on sweets, then cooking more from scratch and less from processed foods, and now me cutting out sweets all together. So that can't be the cause of his behavior. And I ask him how he likes going to school once a month or so and he always says he likes it and he was upset school was canceled when that ice storm came through. I really don't have the foggiest what could be the root of the problem.

Next year my son will be home schooled. The school enviroment he attends leaves lots in question. He's in the 6th grade this year. Next year they shove them up to the high school its that small of school system.

Last year they had a girl bring a knife to school planning on killing another girl. She was caught with the knife expelled ended up going home and killing her mom. This year they've had law enforcement up at school because another kid lost it and told people he was going to kill them.

My son sets by a kid that spent over 2 weeks drawing pictures of Obama with a gun to his head and his brains being blown out. I've told the school you have a ticking time bomb here and my son isn't going to be there when it goes off.

The school is know around the county for kids being tormented unmericifully. If you don't have the right last name or in the right click. They tell me its been bad for many years but just gets worse all the time.

Last year my sons math teacher didn't even have the creditials to be teaching math. This years math teacher is last years p.e teacher. This years p.e. teacher is also the music teacher. My son doesn't even know the notes to the scale. This guys idea of music is to play part of a song and say does anyone know what the name of that song is? I asked my son who Bach was. He didn't know.

Art, they have a volunteer come in once a week and you draw pictures.

No offense but I think I can do a better job myself. I'll also know my son isn't going to go to school one day and not make it home alive that night.

I can also teach him the truth about history instead of the one sided b.s. put forth in the public school system. I'll know my son gets the lesson and knows what he's doing instead of someone just saying..okay class if you didn't get yesterdays lesson to bad we're moving on.

From what I read home schooled children are now testing farther ahead on tests then public schooled children.

They have groups for home schooled kids that they can get together and socialize.

As for children that have lots of energy. I believe they just came out with a finding that since the schools have taken away recess that the children aren't doing as well. That they need that time to burn off energy. The children have a harder time focusing on school work because of this.

When you put the pro's against the cons for home schooling the way the public school systems are ran now home schooling is the best situation in my opinion.