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Boy, 13, becomes father

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posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 09:52 AM
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reply to post by saint4God
 


I guess I miss understood the post, actually the boy is 13 the girl is 15, while she is mature enough physically to have a child is up to the parents to raise that child as the father 13 is not.

But I was referring to a 13 year old girl becoming pregnant that is a dangerous ground as the child is not physically mature enough in most cases to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy child.

I see now where you coming from, but I always know your point of view on this issue no matter what.




posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 09:54 AM
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Originally posted by ItsallCrazy
I can understand where you're coming from about abortion but I'm 20 and I don't consider myself responsible enough or in a good enough monetary situation for a kid, and thats with holding down a pretty well paying job for 3 years, I wouldn't trust a lot of my mates (the same age and some older) to look after my dog let alone a kid.


I know how you feel, having had a child at a young age. However now the child is a young adult and could not imagine life any other way. At the time it may not have been clear to me just how big of a blessing this child would be in my life but it's incredible to look into those eyes and feel the smile in both of our faces.


Originally posted by ItsallCrazy
A 13 year old lad CANNOT look after a new-born baby, and thats from any which way you look at it.


It most certainly is possible and most certainly has been done before and most certainly will be done again. Though not typical in American culture, it has been in others. Us Americans don't like being responsible for anything until we're 18.


Originally posted by ItsallCrazy
You get a lot of your immaturity out of your system at a young age, if they are forced to act responsibly for the next however many years then eventually they will go off the rails craving all the experiences they've missed as an adolescent


It's amazing the amount of maturity one acquires as a young parent. Those skills are invaluable to the survival of both parent and child in today's culture.

[edit on 13-2-2009 by saint4God]



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 09:55 AM
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I think that if I was that boys parents I would be looking for a DNA test being done to prove he actually is the father. I would be very suspicious of just accepting this as a fact as he might be just a patsy.



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 09:59 AM
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reply to post by verylowfrequency
 


Societal values have nothing to do with. There just is not the maturity to handle a child when you are a child yourself.

You must not have any children.

A thirteen year old doesn't have the first clue about raising children. They barely have dealt with their own hormones.


They can't even get a job to pay for diapers, much less braces and college and food adn formula.

What would of happened if this baby had a disability? How would a 13 year old make decisions about autism treatment? Or take care of a child with down syndrome? When their only worry to this point was what to wear to the mall?

societal values my arse.



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 09:59 AM
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reply to post by big gee
 


I don't know in the UK but here in the US when it comes to minors I believe the DNA test is done no matter what.



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 10:00 AM
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Originally posted by marg6043
I see now where you coming from, but I always know your point of view on this issue no matter what.


Thank you and will take that as a compliment. Likewise I know where you stand on many issues and am grateful that we can both come here and be candid. You always make sure I don't write "blank checks" on what should or should not happen which keeps me alert, considerate and compassionate.



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 10:02 AM
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reply to post by saint4God
 


You be surprise as how my friends and family see me and compassionate is just one of them, but I am also realistic and to the point and I have not problem expressing my views about situations that I am passionate about.

Just like you.



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 10:03 AM
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reply to post by marg6043
 


I don't think that this is the case here in the UK. I think a test would have to be requested.



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 10:04 AM
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Originally posted by nixie_nox
reply to post by verylowfrequency
 


Societal values have nothing to do with. There just is not the maturity to handle a child when you are a child yourself.



Fortunately you're wrong. As was said before, many cultures around the world have successful family units at this age as the standard. Ethnocentrism is an ugly little monster that sits on your shoulder and tells you that everyone is wrong, except you...

Ignore that little monster.



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 10:15 AM
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Originally posted by Hellish-D
As was said before, many cultures around the world have successful family units at this age as the standard. Ethnocentrism is an ugly little monster that sits on your shoulder and tells you that everyone is wrong, except you...

Ignore that little monster.


You've got some interesting points. Perhaps what's worth noting as well is that from a survival standpoint it makes sense to have children at an early age (species viability, population growth) as well as in a struggling economy more children means more hands-on-deck doing work such as farming. Not saying right or wrong here, just how things are globally. The rules of nature also seem to indicate that if it is biologically probable then it's typically part of the normal process...therefore on the whole those who can get pregnant have a good chance of survivability to succeed.

In the U.S. we've built a structure such that up until 18, children are geared towards education and are generally denied any amount of serious income. This puts young parents in an awkward position. I think we need to make up our minds as a society and prepare for this scenario. Do we point our fingers at young parents and say "shame on you!" while at the same time cutting them off from any support financially, emotionally, and educationally? Or, do we say "if you become a young parent, you're expected to get a full time job to pay for the life you've brought into the world and be the child's parent"? I opt for the latter. What's done is done there's no point to instilling "bad dog!" behaviour now, it's simply too late for that. With the technology of DNA testing, we surely should be using that. A biological father needs to have his tie to the child both fiscally and legally, being that he was mutually responsible for the outcome. This 'skipping town' business to duplicate the irresponsible decision with other women needs to stop.

[edit on 13-2-2009 by saint4God]



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 10:22 AM
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Originally posted by Hellish-D
As was said before, many cultures around the world have successful family units at this age as the standard.


Such as?

Looking at the age of consent for most of the world it seems to be 15 or above, with those having it placed at 13 or below accounting for around 10.

There are a significant number of nations I can’t find data for but these are in general those with a high level of societal problems.

You can’t argue with biology and the fact is that at this age (around about 13 or younger) the body and mind are changing dramatically and is in no way comparable to a mature body in its ability to cope with parenthood. As I said it seems most cultures recognise this.

Ethnicity doesn’t come into it; there are nations in all continents where parenthood can only legally or traditionally begin above the age of 15. I don’t think anyone said or meant that white people/countries are better than none white.



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 10:26 AM
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Originally posted by Mike_A
You can’t argue with biology and the fact is that at this age (around about 13 or younger) the body and mind are changing dramatically


Perhaps, but another fact is biology says the person is capable of impregnate/become pregnant and bearing offspring.


Originally posted by Mike_A
and is in no way comparable to a mature body in its ability to cope with parenthood.


This is a judgement. I agree with your judgement, but the course of nature doesn't agree with us. The body (both male and female) says "I'm ready to have kids".

[edit on 13-2-2009 by saint4God]



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 10:32 AM
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reply to post by Hellish-D
 


There is a big difference between just keeping a child alive till they are 18 and raising them to be successful in the world.

A rhino can raise a child to weaning. But nurturing them to be confident, successful,and ambitious is a whole nother ball game.


this is a question, not a challenge. But how is the gross national production, education, and all around culture of those socities? are they technologically and medically advanced?



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 10:41 AM
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Saint4god

You’re only taking into account one facet, i.e. the ability to get pregnant but not the other processes the body is going through around the same time.

But having said that I do want to amend that previous post; I didn’t mean to suggest that it is impossible for someone so young to have children and for those children to be cared for very well. But those societies that do practice this are in general based on very small tribal communities with a few families, each shouldering a significant part of raising the children. Nothing wrong with that of course but it does limit that societies’ ability to advance.


[edit on 13-2-2009 by Mike_A]



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 10:44 AM
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reply to post by saint4God
 


I understand, don't get me wrong a child is a blessing, I've got 3 or 4 mates who have had kids at what I'd consider a young age (16 or 17) and they adapted very well to the situation, but can a relationship a 13 year old is in by that serious to stick by the baby through the rest of their teen years?

I don't know.. I suppose you can't tell how they will react in time, let's hope for the best in the case, as I said before hopefully the grandparents will enforce some responsibility in how the whole thing plays out.



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 10:55 AM
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Originally posted by ItsallCrazy
I understand, don't get me wrong a child is a blessing, I've got 3 or 4 mates who have had kids at what I'd consider a young age (16 or 17) and they adapted very well to the situation,


This is awesome news. It's hard work with very little praise, but I can't think of a more important job than taking care of another life.


Originally posted by ItsallCrazy
but can a relationship a 13 year old is in by that serious to stick by the baby through the rest of their teen years?

I don't know.. I suppose you can't tell how they will react in time,


I'm not asking for anyone to force the father to love (because as far as I know that's impossible) but three things we can do as a society is 1.) Hold him financially responsible 2.) Hold him legally responsible and finally 3.) Encourage him to give fatherhood a shot. Society's responsibility would then be to say, "Yes, you made a mistake, but we're going to try to work with you through a predictably difficult time".


Originally posted by ItsallCrazy
let's hope for the best in the case, as I said before hopefully the grandparents will enforce some responsibility in how the whole thing plays out.


Amen to that.



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 10:57 AM
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reply to post by alyosha1981
 


In the UK
A woman let 3 of her daughters get pregnet from the age of 12
the woman blamed the schools for not teaching her daughters about sex ed properly but was happy to let Boys screw with her Girls in her home while they stayed over.

All 3 of them pregnent and have kids,
This is not just society but the boudries Parents put for their kids
and how they teach them.

Society at its finiest



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 11:01 AM
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Originally posted by bodrul
This is not just society but the boudries Parents put for their kids
and how they teach them.


I agree, though at the same time the child is an individual too. Despite the best education and parent-child relationship in the world, a child is still capable of 'out-playing' his/her parents. There is a greater probability of wise decision making from good foundational parenting however.



10-Year-Old Girl Gives Birth in Belgium
Tuesday, October 02, 2007

BRUSSELS — A ten-year-old Belgium girl gave birth to a baby boy last year, according to Expatica News.

The pregnancy came as a 'big' surprise to the girl, says Dr. Robert Chef who examined the girl.

According to Expatica, the doctor said the 10-year-old came to him with "unexplained abdominal pain." He said he noticed the girl gained some weight and after examining her, he discovered that she was nine months pregnant, the website reported.

The father was reportedly a 13-year-old schoolmate.

According to Chef, the 10-year-old's grandmother said she would raise the baby as her own.
- www.foxnews.com...



[edit on 13-2-2009 by saint4God]



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 11:13 AM
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My parents taught me about the "birds and the bees" when I was 8 years old. At 13, I was still playing Barbie with my friends! Sure I had crushes on boys, but we still stood on opposite sides of the dance floor at the 7th grade formal. What makes these kids so curious about sex at such a young age?

My nephew just turned 13 last week and although he says there are some "cute girls" at school, he has no interest in them yet. He is a straight A student and is about to enter the state spelling bee championship. His priorities are where they should be for a boy his age.

What sets my nephew apart from these other kids? Parental supervision and guidance. He knows what is expected of him and he follows through. That's what good parenting is about. This should have never happened in the first place. I hope the best for the child, but I hope that it doesn't follow in its parents footsteps like so many other kids today.



posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 01:40 PM
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Originally posted by Hellish-D


I find it interesting that you would use the term 'less civilized' in the same breath as the rest of your post.



I suppose I should of said "So Called less Civilized" in my post as I was attempting to be facetious with my remark.

I agree with you wholeheartedly, I apologize for not being clearer.



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