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My life story ...crazy or plain ordinary... you decide!

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posted on Feb, 12 2009 @ 04:23 PM

For all of you whom I've already encountered on this forum and for all of you who I have yet to meet. Let me introduce myself.

It has been a long time coming for me...I have like most of you felt I have a purpose in life, a calling if you may and with that has come some experiences which I am finding out more and more are not actually that unusual after all...

So I would like to start from the begining here and hope that maybe someone will take an interest but even if you don't this has still served a purpose. Call it therapy if you like. Here goes.

1975 - A girl is born in a european city to an afroamerican father and a european mother.

somewhere between 1975 adn 1976 - Flash in black and white. Two shapes above her at her feet, rows of tall things on eitherside moving.

1976 - The girl receives her first real memory. She's above looking down at a crowd at a funeral. She watches herself run round and round in circles about a coffin. Someone is reading from a book, a red banner is moving in the wind....

1977 - Second real memory. Screams and arguements. At the bottom of a corridor she sees two people like shadows. One pushes the other agains a wall and hits the other. Girl feel pain and sorrow.

1978 -

The girl is at a house with her mother. They are visiting someone. She's an older lady. They have a barbecue over an open fire. The girl need to go toilet. She's pointed in the direction of the house. She goes in gets a creepy feeling that someone is watching her. She runs to the bathroom and locks the door. Afraid to get out she braces herself to go and the one two three she runs out the house.

The girl is in the basement of the house. She feels there are many people there like shadows watching her. She's scared. She runs....

The girl begin to have recurrent nightmare of waking up and going to the kitchen. There she's abducted through the window by a force she doesn't understand. She's terrified of sleeping alone. She's not afraid of monsters or aligators under the bed. SHe's afraid of SOMETHING ELSE.

The girl understands her parents situation. She knows she was sent to this family to be a uniting force. She's older than them. She can feel it she just cannot fully express it to them. Not yet.

She asks too many questions. She want to understand the world. She knows the world but still everything is new. She's seen it all before. She knows what to do how to take care of herself. How to behave in the streets. Who to talk to or not. She's wise beyond her years.

The girls is hiding in a cupboard. She doesn't like small spaces but the cupboard makes her fell safe. Helps her relax. She can really think there. That's the only place she feels safe and alone. (No people would hurt her it's the other things the ones she feels that bother her) It gets to much at times.

The girl understands the grown ups she feels their pain. She can't understand what they are saying but she senses what they mean.

A woman on a bike with her baby daughter on the bike stops her and her mother on the street. She says to her mother..your so lucky to have such i beautiful child. I wish my child was brown and beautiful like yours. The woman rides off on her bike. The girl asks her mother. Why doesn't that lady love her baby the way she is. I don't like her. The girl feel very wrong about that women. Didn't she have a heart. Saying things like that infront of her own child. The girl is very hurt. People are not very nice.

Anotherday with her mom. Some people go past and spit on the ground and shout n*** hore. Couldn't you find a better man. The girl is angry. Stupid scared people. They don't know what they do. But I forgive them because they are ignorant. I wish I could stop my mom from hurting though. She doesn't deserve this.

Moms belly is growing. Everyone is asking if I am going to get a baby sister. I say no my baby brother is coming. Because I know it. Why don't they know it? They ask again but what if it is a sister? I say but it isn't it's my brother and he's coming soon.

My baby brother is born. He's exactly as I knew he would be. He's my baby. I will always protect him.

somewhere between 1979 and 1980

I am sleeping in my mothers bed. I wake up to go to her in the sitting room. I am on the bed when I freez. Two hypnotic rings like the ones in Batman or was it Phantom magazine from that bad guy with the hypnotic hat.
I can't move. I want to screem but there's no sound. I feel sick. The rings move so strange so slow and still so fast. How is that possible? I get a strange feeling to my stomach. Don't know for how long i sit there unable to move. But somehow i feel the touch of my own skin on my hand and the spell is broken. I make a low whisper mom. And I am free. I run the half a meter to the open door and the sitting room where my mom is with my baby brother. I ask if I can stay up watching TV. She says NO. But my brother is her with you and he's younger than me why can he? She takes me to bed. I ask her to stay until I fall asleep. SHe doesn't she öeaves and the room goes all white. All dimensions are lost. No up donw, left right or depth just white bright light. Something round and dark is moving toward me. It is moving at super speed but still it is rolling eternally slow. I get sick to my stomach. I close my eyes and it's still there. The dark ball gets closer and closer...I wake up in the morning. I don't remember how I fell asleep or dreaming anything. I am weirded out but don't tell anyone about it. I feel much older than 4 years old. Why is that?

.....To be continued. I have a working day tomorrow and it's getting late where I am. I hope someone enjoys the read. Btw incase you are wondering. I am pouring my heart out here so please don't start accusing me of writing fiction. I am really lousy at imagining things and even worse at writing a good story.

Love and light to you all

[edit on 12/2/2009 by IAmD1]

posted on Feb, 12 2009 @ 05:00 PM
reply to post by IAmD1

Good read so far, let it all out.


posted on Feb, 12 2009 @ 05:02 PM
This is very interesting; I'm going to flag it so that I can keep an eye on it.

posted on Feb, 12 2009 @ 05:22 PM
Very interesting read. I'm feeling ya.

Can hardly wait to read more.

Take care,

posted on Feb, 12 2009 @ 05:28 PM
More me to continue!

Thanks for sharing!

posted on Feb, 13 2009 @ 01:01 PM
Part 2.
Thank you for the nice comments I didn't really expect anyone to read it already. Thank you for the support.


I am with my mother in town. We are at that place we go to every sunday. I know the way back to the station afterwards so I run ahead and wait at the bottom of the hill like i always do. But where's mom?.I wait and wait and wait. Where is she? I run back up the hill, she's no where to be seen. I go in to the station. She didn't get downstairs without me surely. She would wait for me, start to look for me. Let me run up the hill again maybe she stopped somewhere on the way to fix something in my brothers pram. I panic. I can't find her. I start to cry. Did she leave on the train without even noticing that I was gone?....two people walk towards me. A man and a woman of undetermined age. They ask if I am OK. I say yes I am. Don't go with strangers I know this. They stand on each side of me and say we will help you. Are you lost come with us. i don't want to go I know what to do i just need to get to the station and wait there until my mother shows up. or I can ask the person at the station to call the police to look for my mother. They insist....blank...I am in a kitchen somewhere one of the voices say to me do you hear the police sirens? That's your mother looking for you. She called the police. She's coming to pick you up now get dressed to go and meet her...blank...I am at the station with my mother. I am angry why did she leave me all on my own? She doesn't even seem upset about it at all? We go home on the train as always.

Side note: (I later ask her about the event she doesn't seem to remember it ever happening?)

Nightmares. The same thing over and over. Something is chasing me. I have to fly to get away. I can't fly. I have to keep running. Up the stairs. Jump over the rail, I fall like a feather down down down. I know it's there at the bottom of the stairs waiting for me...I wake up. I hide my head under the cover. Oh no! I need the toilet. To afraid to reach out to turn the light on. Call mom. Just do it! I wisper mom. Count silently to three..moM!!! MOOOOOOM!!! MOOOM!!. She comes. I go toilet. Go back to sleep in my mothers bed. Same as every night that I can remember at that age I can remember.

Side note: I've aksed my mother about that too and she doesn't seem to remember me having very many night mares as a child?

Since the day i got caught on my own in a station elevator I am scared of getting stuck and being in enclosed spaces.

I am hiding in a cupboard. I'm getting too tall to hide in there but it feels good. I feel protected in here. I can think clearly. I start to feel claustrofobic in there. Can't really remember how I got in there but I need to get out NOW! I get out. it is cool outside, fresh air. I never want to get into a cupboard again.

I am stuck inbetween my duvet and the duvet cover. It happens alot. I don't knwo why i climb in there in the fist place but i always end up getting stuck. Unable to get out. Feels like i can't breath. MOM! She comes and helps me out.

Mirrors. They are scary when it is dark. And windows too. I have to cover them. Don't look at them in the dark. Feels like I am being watched. Close the curtains. That's better.

I wake up at night. Feels like someone's watching me. I "know" there's someone in my doorway. To afraid to look. Head under cover, turn to the wall with an opening at my mouth and nose to breath, to get fresh air. Nothings gonna happen if i just fall asleep. I wait and wait. I feel it is there. I am tense. I get a cramp in my legs. I need to move. Which way shold i turn so that it doesn't notice? Must make sure every bit of my body is under the cover. I turn over slowly. Make a breathing hole and fall asleep finally!

I'm at preschool. We play families. I am a boy called Peter. I am 10 years old. I am allways a boy called Peter who is 10. I know what it is like to be a boy called Peter that is 10. I don't know how to pretend to be anything else. When we play. I don't know any ten year olds. I don't know anyone called Peter either.

Fast forward 1983
We are moving to a new home. We arrive and the next day I go out to see what friends there are to meet. I am easy that way. I make friends easy. I am not afraid or shy. Strange I know this place. I have been here before. I see some kids a bit younger than I. I ask their names. Strange I know these kids. I have met them before? This whole scenario has happened before! That whole year has happenend before....

fast forward to c.a. 1990

I still have nightmares almost every night. I am very afraid of the dark. I hate mirrors at night. I have to cover them. Same with windows. They have to be covered. Trees outside my windows are scary at night. Trees at night are scary. I am not afraid of people. They don't scare me at all. Although there are some rought ones where I live i don't mind. They don't so anything. It's the other things I am afraid of. The things you can not see but sense. Those that follow you and watches you at night. That haunts your dreams. Those are the scary ones. I don't go to the toilet in the middle of the night. I sleep with a light on. I sleep with my head under the cover.

I wake up. It's the middle of the night. Oh no! I am lying on my back. I can't move. My eyes are open. I am looking at my door. It's open but only to show a small gap between the door and the doorway. I know I closed the door before I went to sleep. I can't sleep with the door open. It has to be shut. Something's there...outside the door...watching me....wanting me to get scared.... Got to get out of paralysis. I know what to do. Just close my eyes. Relax...relax....relax....I'm out of paralysis. Don't open the eyes. Just turn over and go back to sleep....

...To be continued (Duty calls)

Love and light

posted on Feb, 14 2009 @ 04:01 PM
part. 3

Roll back to somewhere between 1988 and 1990.

I am in the water it's about knee deep. I love water. I learned to swim when I was 3 years old. The waves are high, about 2 1/2 meters or so. We wait for them to come then we jump and let the wave lift us off the ground. It's fun. I've never done this before. Here comes another wave. I trip, I'm under water. I can't move I lie flat under the water surface unable to move my arms. I can see the sky above. This is stupid I am going to drown in water that is only knee deep. I try to fight it then I give up. It's peaceful...soon it's going to happen. I float up and out of the water. I become the water, the air, the trees, the sky. I know what it feels to be at one with everything. It's wonderful and peaceful. Blank! I am standing in the water. I'm about 4 meters to the side of where I was before the wave. How did I get out of the water? What happened, I just remember being at one with the world. Why didn't I die? I look around me. Noone seem to have noticed that I was in trouble. I feel separation for the first time. I know now that I am not afraid to die. I long to feel the oneness again but I know it is not my time yet. Strange that no one noticed that I was gone. How long was I under water for?

I am in my recurring chase dream. I am running and then I am cycling through a street with houses on each side. The windows and doors are all open but there are no lights on. I know 'they' are watching me from inside the houses. IT is chasing me I got to get away. I have to find it. Ah there it is my house. I know this part of the dream well. I run up stairs, open the door to the flat and close the door behind me just in time before IT gets me. The I realise IT is not going to be stopped by a door. I'm trapped. Again! But what's this. I turn to where my kitchen is. Everything all bright white light. Where am I? This is not my dream. A man in a white cloak with the most beautifully deep dark blue eyes are standing there infront of me. I sense that he's blond but i cannot see the hair for the hood he wears. Telepathically I ask him. Who are you? What are you doing in my dream? He replies. Don't worry. You are safe now. He's willing me toward him. I float uncontrollably toward the figure. All I see is the eyes. I feel at peace. I am right infront of him. He kisses my forehead and the dream disperse. I wake up. Completely at peace. For the first time after having this dream I am at peace.

Fast forward 1994

I wake up. It's morning. Strange my door is open. I never sleep with an open door. My cat comes through the door and jump up on the bed and rolls into a ball on my chest as she always did. She looks me straight in the eyes. Wait a minute that can't be. My cat is dead...she died years ago. The image dissaperas but i can still feel the warmth and pressure of her weight on my chest. I feel safe. I'm glad she visited me.

There's someone special in my life. We hardly know eachother but I feel we are connected. He has those deep dark blue eyes. And when he looks at me I know he sees me. He can see straight into my soul and I can see though his. He's the only person who makes me feel alive, and connected. He makes me lose control just by being in the same room. Infact I know he's ther before I see him. We are not a couple. I know we are not ment to be still I need to know. Am I crazy or does he feel this too? I wait 5 years. Then finally I make it happen so that we kiss. WOW! I felt like home when we kissed. That's so strange. I know we cannot be together but now i know he feels this thing too. I am not crazy.I do not imagine things. YES! My friends say WOW when you kissed it was like you were in an old movie scene. Everyone around you seemed to move away and I swear you were standing in the light. It was as if a spotlight was pointing at you. Now i know, we have a connection. I don't understand it but I know it is real.

fastforward 6 months.

I am in a different european city. I had to leave. To be able to grow. My firts night in a new house. I am an au-pair. The girl i am taking over from is staying a few days to help me settle in before she goes back home. We're going to sleep. It is a semidetached house. My best friend works in the adjoining house. I haven't been in there yet but I assume the houses are identical. In our house we sleep in an attic apartment wall to wall with the other house. All night I hear furniture move around in on the other side of the wall. strange why would my best friend move furniture all night? I finally fall aslepp. When we wake up in the morning my room partner explains. In the whole year i have been in this house i've never slept so Bad! I say yea weöll they were moving furniture on the other side. She said i don't think so. I don't think there's a roomon the other side. Just an attic storage. I confirm this with my best frien after breakfast.

We are on our way back home from an evening out. Our familys are so strict we have to be home by 12. It's a little windy as we walk the street inbetween the surburbian houses. We're at the top of a small hill when I see a black ball like a ballon but much bigger bounce from one side of the street to the other. It is bouncing really strange. If it was a baloon then it should be changing direction in the wind. But it is bouncing very slowly across the street without shifting to the sides. I call for my frind to run to where I've seen the ball roll inbetween two houses into an alleyway. Surely it will come rolling back down. it didn't have anough velocity to keep moving as it was a slight uphill slant there. My friend didn't see it. I told her hang on it should come rolling back out right about now. Nothing! I look closer but there's nothing there. Strange must have been some sort of animal. Or was it? I've never heard of a dark round ball like animal that bounces in near slowmotion. hmmm

I am living on my own. I have been in the city for about 2 years already. It's been very peaceful. I've been busy just trying to survive, woirk and study. Not so many nightmares and I'm not afraid of the dark so much. I share a flat with someone but this evening I'm on my own. I go to the bedroom close the door sit on the bed ready to go to sleep. Oh no. IT's back! It's outside my door willing me to challenge it. i refuse to acknowlede that iT exists. I climb into bed. I cover my head with the duvet. I haven't done that for a loong time. I feel it in the room now....

posted on Feb, 14 2009 @ 04:10 PM
It's stanging behind me next to the bed. It must be tall I can sense the shape what it looks like. It's maskulin. A swooshing sound in the pillow. I feel like I'm falling. Must fight this feeling. Something's calling my nick name. the swooshing and calling goes on and on... IT is pushing my head into my pillow. ÍT hovers over me and lands now infront of me next to the bed. Again a hit over the head and IT's now behind me. This is it I think. I'm not getting out of this. Then music on the street. The experience stops dead in it's tracks. I get out of bed to see who's having a party. I've never been so thankful for noisy neightbours. It's completely quiet. No one in the street. No party and no music. Strange....

Same year about 1996. I am standing in a busy mainstreet waiting for someone. A middle aged indian guy asks me what time it is. I reply. He then stops looks at me and says do you want to know about your aura. YOU have a green healing aura. I can tell you many things. Come lets sit down. There's a macdonalds. Let me tell you a few things. We sit down he grabs my left hand and begin to tell me things that he could not possibly know about me.

...To be continued (duty calls once again.)

posted on Feb, 17 2009 @ 02:15 PM
Part 5.

He starts to become very strange with me. Telling me i am very powerful. He's telling me that he can teach me things, like levitation, telekinesis and such. He asks me to come with him to be his aprentice. He promises me great secrets and power if i just come with him. I am creeped out. I don't like the feeling I get from him. Seems like he needs me more than I ever would. Seems like he wants to use what ever powers he think I have. I don't feel that he can teach me anything at all. Seems like he is drawing energy from me. I start to feel confused. I've asked him not to talk about my future...he does tell me acouple of things. Some of them are still coming true to this day...He gives me some warnings...Blank...blurry..not sure how but we're in the street. He's rubbing himself against me...I feel dizzy don't really know what's going on I ask him to stop. He does but says I will tell you many things but i need to be close to you to get the information. I say no that I've got to go home now. I leave he doesn't argue or seem to be interested in holding me back...weirded out and very sick...I wonder what just happened? At least I got away without being seriously hurt. Infact he seemed to be very cautious not to anger me or provoke me....? I don't tell anyone about how weird it got just that he told me a few things about my past and future....

Side note:

Many years later someone told me about psychic vampires....maybe he was one...I don't know for sure....but he was pretty desperate to make use of me and my so called 'powers'. All I know is that I was very drained for many years after that event whether it was related or not I am not sure.....

For a few years after that I start to research alternative history, psychic protection and other out of the ordinary stuff. I read the Bible almost from page to page. (I do not consider myslef a Christian but I am interested in theology) At somepoint I atempted to find a good translation of the Quoran...but i didn't succeed...I guess it wasn't time for that yet....

Many small events and people happened to me that kept me wondering about out of the ordinary experiences. I went to see my first psychic who happened to be an excelletn one. She was able to tell me a few things about the supposed spirits around me. SHe also claimed that I would make an excellent medium...(I still doubt this but anyway) .... I don't really feel that is my calling. I always wanted heal people. I'd volunteer to give someone a massage if they were in pain and somehow i always knew what to do and where the problem was. (It has been like that since I can remember. I started administer massage on my mother as a young kid)....

Back to the story...

Between 1996 and 1998

I live together with some students in a small flat we rented. It's a basement flat. Quite dark and has an uncomfortable feel to it. The backdoor lead to a parkingspace and for some reason the doorway is covered in spiders and their webb. No matter howmuch we try to remove them with water, cleaning liquids and bug spareys they seem to just come back. When we went to see the flat there were some writings on the wall in my room that said. I am going crazy. I don't want to be here and other depressing things. I didn't pay them much attention and when i moved in they'd been painted over. Turns out that about a month into our stay the landlord and the 'agent' dissapears with our deposit. A letter comes that stated that the house is being reposessed and we have 14 days to leave.
That last morning at the flat I feel very drained. As if I've been in a fight all night long. I seem to have a memory of hovering under the ceiling. (Strange) my flatmate who sleeps wall to wall with me tells me that there have been weird noises coming from my room all night. Banging noises and she demonstrated by banging at the wall. It creeps me out. When I do to bring my stuff out of the room I notice what appears to be scratch marks all over the cailing of the room just above the head part of my bed.
I looks as if metal has been scratching the ceiling. Long grey marks. I jump up to try to recreate them with my fingernails and with my rings but the ceiling is too high even standing on my bed....I make a mental note of that.....later on i will be investigating all my ceilings to see if i can find similar marks.....

posted on Feb, 17 2009 @ 02:43 PM
keep it coming!

you have me very interested.

very interested indeed.

posted on Feb, 17 2009 @ 03:04 PM
part 6.

somewhere between 1998 and 2000.

I am sleeping over at my ex boyfriends house. He's got a tall bed. A voice is talking to me from beside the bed. But wait a minute I am 6 feet in the air how can anyone be standing beside me talking right into my ear? I try to question the voice. It says. 'You can do it now'. I get frustrated and try to speak. It then moves into my ear adn says' I can speak to you from in here'. It move away again adn says 'or from here'. I get very angry try to ask it who it is what is it talking about. I break out of paralysis and the voice is gone. No one there....I notice that there are some scratch marks in his ceiling but only a few and only in the parts right above where i used to sleep. (Hmm?)

I am in my room. I'm singing, practising some high notes. A massive flash goes of right next to me. No sound just a bright flashing light about the sixze of a large medicineball. I turn and there's nothing. Sometimes when I do singing practise I can hear what appears to be a higher harmony behind to my voice.

I am asleep on my bed listening to some music. I my dream i am part of the band that's playing the song I was listening to. I go vivid. All of a sudden I'm running through this dark corridor off stage. I start to think about scooby doo for some reason. I'm running but I'm a little amused. I end up in my bedroom. Something is coming toward me from the corridor ahead of me. I am lying on the bed. I'm holding onto my pillow. something cold with what appears to be claws are holding onto my neck and it's trying to penetrate my bum. Something sharp and cold is trying to penetrate me from behind. i panic. I hold on to my pillow as hard as I can when I realise. It is not my pillow but myself i'm holding onto. And what ever it is that's holding onto me is holding on to my spirit not my body. I fight it as hard as I can. I wake up in my bed the song still playing....

Side note: I don't fall asleep to music anymore after that.

Same time period:

I hurt my back and am lying in bed. It's afternoon and I'm trying to sleep. I've been given some strong painkillers to relieve my muscle spasm. I fall asleep and have an experience where I wake up several times in my dream. I sense danger in my real life so I try desperately to wake up but eachtime I wake in my 'dream' or astral still not sure which. Finally I wake up after several attempts. A little freaked out.

between 2000 and 2006

I am standing in my bedroom. My boyfriend is sitting on my bed about 1/2 a metre to my side. On my other sida a black torso of a man appears and walk right by me. I jump to the side of my bed. Shaking. I wasn't expecting that.

Another house about 3 months later. I'm sitting on the bed. it's afternoon. A dark torso walks right by infront of me. I hardly react. just watch it as it dissapears infront of my eyes. I'm not scared.

Another house. In the morning between 4 and 6 a.m. for 4-5 days in sequence.

Day 1. Something is pulling my covers off the bed onto the floor. I fight against sleep paralysis and wake up.

Day 2. Something is pulling my covers off the bed onto the floor. I fight against sleep paralysis and wake up. Make a mental note that this has happenend two days in a row.

Day 3. I'm in sleep paralysis. I'm lying on my side. Infront of me in the middle of the room appears what looks like a hanging sheet made of TV black and white buzzing screen. The one that used to show when there where no program on. A voice appears from undeteminate direction saying: Do you wnat to know everything? I will tell you the truth about everything. I start to feel like someone is drawing me toward the screen. At the same time a 3D image appears at the center of the screen of what looks like the face of turin. I feel more and more like i am losing grip of my astral body that is being pulled out. I fight it without panic and finally snap out of it and wake up.

Day4. I'm about to fall aslepp when i turn rappidly in my bed. I realise i've turned astrally when a red velvet book apears to be hovering in the middle of the room next to the bed and infront of my face. It's just hangning there. it has got gold braces and a golden seal. It's a very large book. I feel i am being willed to open it but again i fight it as something doesn't feel right. i am not afraid just feel like I am being tempted to do something i really shouldn't. I wake up.

Day 5. I find myslef on the floor next to my bed. i'm in paralysis but this feels different. i feel like I'm wrapped up in my sheets. Like a sausage in a roll. I can see myself on the bed. I tall dark figure without any real facial features but with skin that looks like torn paper with lavalike red7orange light shining through the lack paper tears is standing over me. It doesn't seem concerned with me on the floor but more concerned with my body on the bed. it moved forward and stands directly in my 'astral 'chest. All i can think is Oh my god this is finally it. I'm not getting out of this....When suddenly something appears to be lifting me by the 'fabric' of what's holding me. I'm carried to an upright possition over the bed and directly at ayalevel with this thing. It feels like a giant hand is hiolding me. Now i really think this is the end as I am face to faca or face to void with this being. Then I am slowly moved backeard and placed back in my body. I wake up. Vare chaken and confused. What just happened?

In the same house. Afternoon around 2-3 ish. The sound of a million buzzing bees. I'm in paralysis a voice asks. Do you mind if I ASP you? The buzzing moves closer until my whole bidy i shaking. I am looking down but decide not to be afraid and actually look up to see what I can see. I am going with the feeling. I look up and see a standard 'Grey' alien face hover over the bed in what appears to be a rip in the space fabric of my room. I laught to myself as i thing. Oh come on! I don't even believe in Aliens. But that's soo obvious! At that moent I snap out of it. Bemused by the experience.

This will have to do for now. I hope you've enjoyed reading about some of my key experiences that may or may in the end not have brought me to this forum. I have had many more things happen to me but these are some of the key events that've left me wondering and forced me to continue to explore and stretch my believes on the possibilities and wonders of this reality. one of these days i will find out what my life is for and who I really am.

Love and light

posted on Feb, 17 2009 @ 03:14 PM
IAmD1 thank you. Please keep writing. I'm very interested in hearing more.
Fascinating would be an understatement...........

posted on Feb, 17 2009 @ 03:38 PM
jenny52 and dankanight13 thank you very much for the encouragement. I'm very humbled by your interest. But this is it for now I' i said these are some of the key events in my life. i hope they help you and other ATS to get to know me a little better. I'm tired of hiding my true self and experiences to the world. This is me starting a fresh with all the cards on the table. Hopefully my experiences may help others who've had these things happen to them feel they are not alone. I for one would like to know that I'm not alone in this. I do not believe I am in anyway more special than anyone else. I'm just a child, lost in this world trying to find my way back home. Hoping that I learn how to shine again that I can spread a little light in the darkness that is this world.

posted on Feb, 21 2009 @ 06:24 AM

Originally posted by IAmD1
I do not believe I am in anyway more special than anyone else. I'm just a child, lost in this world trying to find my way back home. Hoping that I learn how to shine again that I can spread a little light in the darkness that is this world.

Exactly how i feel!
I'm guessing there are a lot more people with the same kind of "history" you had, but just don't talk about it.

Your story is great and i hope you find your way.

posted on Feb, 21 2009 @ 08:08 AM
link are sooo strong my friend......

It appears you have an ability that someone, or something, is trying to help you understand.

You have had alot of fear throughout your life, im just wondering what would happen if you didnt fight against this fear? Would it perhaps open a door to what and who you are to do on this earth?

Please dont be affraid any longer. Be as strong as you have always been my friend and i hope it all works out for you. I hope you find your path very soon.

Thanks much for being open and sharing your experience with us all.

Bless ya 100fold,

Love and respect


posted on Feb, 21 2009 @ 11:53 AM
IP - Thank you for the support. All I did was to tell my story, that makes me honest not strong though.

I am really humbled that anyone is actually interested in my story....and a little exited at where this will take me. My pandoras box is finally open.....

love and light


posted on Mar, 1 2009 @ 05:06 PM
A very interesting and at times frightening story. A lot of what has happened to you has happened to me. I tried to U2U but apparantly i have to have 20 posts before i can do it. Would like to talk to you about our experiences.

posted on Mar, 1 2009 @ 05:09 PM
Hey IamD1,

How are things going with you, are you still as strong as ever?

Sorry for the one line.


posted on Mar, 2 2009 @ 02:47 PM
reply to post by InfoProvider

Hi IP,

I'm doing OK. I'm still actively working on reducing the fear around me. It's going well so far. I have a lot do do at home so I've been lurking rather than contributing but I'll be back with some more stuff once the dust settles. Thanks for asking and bumping my thread


posted on Mar, 6 2009 @ 03:17 PM
An inspired ranting also posted in the wanderers among us - sound off forum!

Hey everyone.
I am surprised I've missed this thread until now. I don't know about the word wanderer as a child and teen I used to call myself a child of sorrow. That's all I know. i have heard the term light worker, healer, empath, crystal to name but a few. None of these truly resonate with me. I believe what we are doesn not need a lable. Or more correctly can not and should not be labelled. We who are aware of the wrongs of the world should also know the insignificance in belonging to a 'crew', religious or other group that separates us from the ones who do not belong to our group.

From what I've read a lot of you feel the separation and suffer by it. I hope you can see clearly that creating more separation is not the answer. I believe the answer is to unite. To find the think that links us all aware and unaware. That is how we raise the energy of this place. By creating an unbroken line of unity. I see it a bit like that game 'every one's connected by 5 people' or whatever. I.e. if you look hard enough everyone's got something or someone in common. When we undo the separation that was created between us by precieved, ethnicity, culture, language, music choice etc we will truly be set free and understadn the beauty that is US as ONE.

As much as I am excited at the existence of this thread I am at the same time saddenend that it is separation that brings us all together. I wonder how we could start the trend of working together as supposed to working individually.

I believe some have got the idea of free will wrong. There is no infringement on free will to share knowledge of any sort. How could there be? As a matter of fact by sharingt he knowledge that we all have we are encouraging free will. For when we receive information that is when we can practise free will to do as we see fit with the information. When the truth is withheld or part of the truth is hidden is when we are truly enslaved by the one who hides the truth. Giving us just enought o dance to their pipe to receive more handouts of partial truth.

I think about it like this. If you are in a relationship with someone and that someone is unfaithful. And you are a person who does not like to be intimate with many people. If that person choses to with hold the information that he/she is unfaithful A. He/she is removing your free will to make a choice based on the facts. B. Is forcing you inadvertently to be with people who you did not chose to be intimate with. Hence you are emprisoned or your free will is removed from you. Although you are staying in a relationship that appears to make you happy.

If the person on the otherhand choses to tell you and you decide to stay. Then you have excersised your free will and made a choice based on facts.

I hope you understand where I am going with this.

HiddenHand and anyone else that say they can only reveal half thwe truth for fear of messing with our free will is actually doing just that. They are creating an element of controll by making you chose to want to continue in their believes. HAd you seen the whole picture from the start then maybe you wouldn't have 'resonated' with anything this/these persons where saying.

I'm sorry to deviate from the subject just my pennys worth.

Apart from that I am happy to see that I am not entirely alone and sorry that there are others who have to live with the pain of being hyper sensitive to atmospheres and energies that people and inanimate objects give off. It is truly gift with a double edged sword attached.

Love and light

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