What My Mother Taught Me

Ain't this the truth lol!!

My Mother always taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning."

My Mother taught me RELIGION:
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My Mother taught me TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My Mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

My Mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case your in an accident."

My Mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and i'll give you smething to cry about."

My Mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My Mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My Mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there til all that spinach is finished."

My Mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a Tornado swept through your room."

My Mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because i saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

My Mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, i've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!"

My Mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world, and i can take you out."

My Mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

My Mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

THANKS MOM ~