Why do nice guys finish last?

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posted on Feb, 10 2009 @ 10:25 PM
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reply to post by XTexan
 


Go get 'em Man, tell us how you do.

Here is another tip, when you see or meet some new female and you say HI, keep an eye on her body language.
If she reaches for her hair and ligtly brushes it with her hand, that means she probably digs you and is subconsciously fixing her hair for you.
That's an open invitation to start up a conversation.




posted on Feb, 11 2009 @ 05:38 PM
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The search button is at the top right hand side of the page. There's been about 800 threads on this one topic.


Here's one: Women Hate Nice Guys

-Dev



posted on Feb, 11 2009 @ 07:20 PM
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reply to post by DevolutionEvolvd
 


I actually think that this thread has a new twist that makes it very different from any of the other "nice guys finish last" threads I've seen.

Usually, it's that the nice guy has a hard time getting into relationships.

This time around, it's keeping the relationship that's the problem.

So the typical answers about showing self-confidence, not coming on too fast, etcetera, don't really apply



posted on Feb, 12 2009 @ 02:23 PM
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reply to post by americandingbat
 


Keeping the relationship? You'd have to be the same guy you were when you first met her. She likes the guy that made her feel confused yet sexy and confident at the same time. She wants that guy that she can't quite figure out. That's what attracted her in the first place.

Somebody posted this earlier, to some extent. She may need a nice guy who treats her like a princess, but that's not what she wants. That's not what turns her on. You can't go from being that first guy and then once you have her, turn into some uber "nice" guy.

It's a mindset that has to always be in place. Some guys naturaly have this mindset. You know one of those guys. He may not be the best looking guy but he's always got a chick, and maybe a few on deck.


Originally posted by Alxandro
I can only tell you what worked for me years ago.
I came to realize women loves a--holes just as much as men love b-tches.
It takes a little bit of acting on your part but if you let your feelings be known, just a little, and amplify that tenfold, women tend to do a double take.



Yeah, a "WTF" double take. One of those that look like
not
One of those where, afterwards, she's talking to her girlfriends about you, and not the way you want them to.

Being indifferent is where it's at. Cool, calm and collected, as if a fight could break out and you'd still be sittin' there chillin, until someone touched you or your girl.

Acting like an A$$hole will only get you
. It's not the A$$hole qualities that women like in an A$$hole, it's all the qualities that accompany that mindset.

-Dev



posted on Feb, 15 2009 @ 01:09 AM
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I can understand where you are coming from and just keep on looking, you'll find that special someone. But sometimes, and this is how it usually happens, the right one comes upon you when you least expect it. Most people have gone through tons of relationships, so it really shouldn't be about being the nice guy finishing last, it just wasn't a relationship that was working. Never try to be any one else but yourself. If they don't like it, then that's obviously that's their problem and it's a good idea to find someone who does like you for who you are. I've always said, "what you see is what you get, take it or leave it" and it did take me a long time to come to that.

I used to let girlfriends change me to how they wanted because I thought I was showing how much I cared about them. It is a little project they like in the beginning but then they get bored and find another. "You changed since we met and I don't know you anymore!" is something i've heard quite a few times, well duh, you are the one who changed me! Be yourself, because changing your ways just to make some woman happy will make you miserable and set you up for failure in the relationship.



posted on Feb, 15 2009 @ 01:53 AM
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its all about control.

and most women are control freaks.

if you dont do this or that they'll whinge, and bring up every other thing youve done just to throw it in your face.

she's being the bitch, and when you confront her they turn it all around with the "oh its always ME, isnt it?" or my wifes personal favourite "its NEVER your fault is it?"

this is a way for them to start the #, get you riled up, and then pretend its all your fault and they were innocent like snow white.

women who want to have a bitch just love to use denial to wash their hands of all responsibility for the problem, while dumping it all back on you.
and you can never win such arguments since they already play the victim mentality.

its all mind control.

like you say, they expect YOU to change.
they cant accept you as you are
they wont change themself or their own attitude.

it is YOU, the MALE who has the issue and are at fault.



posted on Feb, 15 2009 @ 11:59 AM
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I always wondered the same thing. I dont get it. My sister always liked the Jerks. It never made sense to me.

I was always into the nerdy star wars guys. Never liked the pretty boy type, never will.



posted on Feb, 15 2009 @ 04:30 PM
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I'm a nice guy and I don't seem to have that problem.
I mean maybe there are factors or things in your personality other than being a nice guy that affect your chances.

maybe your shopping in the wrong isles or not realizing that the nature of what You think is happening in those relationships isn't valid.
communication is important.

maybe you not reading the cues properly and seeing things not as they are but as you hope and wish.

I found if I like someone and am honest about it they respond by being honest with me

I mean I have had drunk girls in the bar tell me I'm pretty on more than one occasion. Confidence and humor are appealing to a woman.

I don't know if it just me but when they think I'm a diamond in the ruff
It's almost impossible to get rid of them. Woman are feeling junkies
If you want them to hold interest you cant be perfect.
being spontaneous is a good thing as well maybe your rigid in ways

[edit on 15-2-2009 by The Utopian Penguin]



posted on Feb, 16 2009 @ 03:18 PM
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Originally posted by Obliv_au
like you say, they expect YOU to change.
they cant accept you as you are
they wont change themself or their own attitude.

it is YOU, the MALE who has the issue and are at fault.


The way I see it is like this...... Men go into relationships hoping she doesn't change while women go into relationships expecting to change him.


Of course, she never changes the guy(he's still an A$$) and she ends up changing......pant size. :bnghd:

-Dev



posted on Mar, 6 2009 @ 06:10 PM
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You know? Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment... I'm starting to think that I seek out women with issues because, for some reason, deep down I just want to be used... and not in the good, fun way. I don't know, it seems crazy to me to even think that way... but it seems to be the answer thats staring me in the face...

I don't even know what to think anymore, but if I keep this habit up I'm gonna end up losing my mind.


:w:



posted on Mar, 6 2009 @ 06:26 PM
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Why do nice guys finish last?

It's because this world is designed to weed out the weaker ones, where survival of the fittest requires that the meaner guys will obtain more procreate rights and bring forth children who are also aggressive. At least, this is what I think.



posted on Mar, 6 2009 @ 06:28 PM
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reply to post by XTexan
 


As a female observer who has always had guy friends, I think this is very common.

People always talk about how women choose guys who will be bad for them, but I think it's at least as common for men to choose women who are bad for them.



posted on Mar, 6 2009 @ 06:32 PM
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reply to post by americandingbat
 


I'm starting to say thats my problem... thing is... I don't know what to do about it. It's obviously unhealthy, and I need to find a way to fix it.

I string myself along in these situations and leave myself open to manipulation all to often.



posted on Mar, 6 2009 @ 11:35 PM
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Originally posted by americandingbat
reply to post by XTexan
 


People always talk about how women choose guys who will be bad for them, but I think it's at least as common for men to choose women who are bad for them.


That is soooo true. My brother is a really nice guy (most of the time) and has hooked up with a woman who is a real biaccch... I asked him what was he thinking and why was he attracted to a woman like this? He said he likes strong woman!

My reply to that was: You're an idiot!!!

I like nice guys, who are confident, speak there mind, believe it or not women cannot mind read so communication is a key ingredient! But I think it really comes down to attraction... After a few weeks or even one date women general know if you are a keeper or they should be moving on.

Relationships are tough and lots of work is required from both parties. If only one of you are putting in the effort it will eventually colapse.

Good luck... Finding Miss Right will happen when you are least expecting it...

MW31



posted on Mar, 6 2009 @ 11:36 PM
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Originally posted by thehumbleone
There are a couple of fatal mistakes I believe most nice guys make. One of them is that typical "nice guys" fail to make their sexual nature known to a woman. So at worst, the woman does not even have any idea if this man has any sexual interest in her. Woman want to know that their romantic and sexual feelings are going to be reciprocated.

This is a big one, so pay attention. I believe "nice guys" usually operate from a point of view that puts them in a lower social status than the women, hence giving her all their power. In other words, they are operating from a position where they believe the woman has higher status than them. A big no-no.

Women do not - let me repeat that - DO NOT go for men who they deem as having lower status than them. Sucking up to her, giving her compliments every two seconds, being needy and feeling the urge to call her every five minutes are all signs that you care about this one woman way too much. Getting serious way too soon can and WILL scare women away.

YOU are the prize, and don't ever forget it.

How do I know all this you ask? Well because I used to be that stereotypical nice guy. Don't get me wrong, I still am "nice."

One of the biggest dating conundrums is that people think it's the "nice boy" versus the "bad boy." It is not. It's between weak guys and strong guys.

[edit on 2/9/2009 by thehumbleone]



I gave you a star because I agree with you ..I am not a man ..I am a women and from my own experience I can say that I went with men who were not so nice but Challenging,Fun,Exciting,did not kiss my butt ....etc.
I had a really really nice guy once in my life and he was so BORING ...so readable (No mystery at all) his every word and move was predictable ..he came off as too needy mainly because he acted desperate for my love by doing every thing I asked of him ......etc etc ....

Us women look for STRENGTH in men (not physical but emotional ) because we are so emotional ....we need the opposite to help us in this area (they make us stronger when they show such strength with emotions) but dont be extreme in this because too much is arrogant and controlling etc ..

I actually love men who are in the middle area ...they will cry (sometimes) they will do for you most times but will certainly put their foot down when taken advantage of ...and I like them strong and exciting but not so much that I feel like I am with a stone cold hearted non caring (a hole lol) who loves to just always play games (so much excitement as in addrenolin junkies) ,.....and so exciting that they are doing donuts in the middle of town for the cops attention (which did happen to me) this guy was begging for a race with teh cops and the cops did it and he beat them everytime they raced never arresting him ..and doing it again the very next weekened ..and of course the cops (all grown men ) LOVED IT TOO ..(the cat and mouse game between him and them and the race between the cars ) ..............that is CRAZY >..and over the edge with EXCITEMENT ...sheeshh lol ..............




[edit on 6-3-2009 by Simplynoone]

[edit on 6-3-2009 by Simplynoone]



posted on Mar, 6 2009 @ 11:46 PM
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Originally posted by Jess_Undefined
I always wondered the same thing. I dont get it. My sister always liked the Jerks. It never made sense to me.

I was always into the nerdy star wars guys. Never liked the pretty boy type, never will.


what about pretty boy nerds??



posted on Mar, 7 2009 @ 12:07 AM
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reply to post by Simplynoone
 



teenage juvenile immature behavior. how is that a sign of maturity and wisdom. having said that the cops did pull me over last night for taking off at the lights. but thats different.

still jokes aside rebellious behavior is a sign of immaturity a sense of trying to prove something. those who know, know they have nothing to prove. and as such i dare say like attracts like. not all girls are into bad boys although most of the ones i know seem to be.

for the most part women are pretty clueless as to what they want they think they know but they dont. men on the other hand know exactly what we want. thats why we dont complain.

and that is why we can go into a supermarket and walk out with what we need in under 15 minutes. women cannot. even with a shopping list they will come home with crap they didnt need.


anyway nice guys finish last only at the start once chicks get played by the player and get sick of being treated like crap and realize they cant change people they will settle down with the nice guy. or repeat the same mistake till they learn their lesson.

what some women dont realize is that bad boys are bad because they dont care. what women think they can do is make bad boys care about them. it makes them feel special. like they tamed the beast so to speak its like proving to other chicks see what i can do. of course this is all theory and speculation and not every case is the same.

there are other women who have father figures who display this Alpha male personality and thus gravitate to that kind of individual.



posted on Mar, 7 2009 @ 12:15 AM
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reply to post by Simplynoone
 


What can I say? I guess I just understand women!

Haha just joking. I might know what attracts them, but I still don't have a clue in hell what they are thinking.



posted on Mar, 7 2009 @ 12:19 AM
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Originally posted by thehumbleone
reply to post by Simplynoone
 


What can I say? I guess I just understand women!

Haha just joking. I might know what attracts them, but I still don't have a clue in hell what they are thinking.


What women are thinking about is: "What is HE thinking?"


That is your answer....


MW31



posted on Mar, 7 2009 @ 12:22 AM
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reply to post by TiM3LoRd
 


I think you are pretty spot on...

But you also left out the gold diggers, some are just looking for someone to set them up for life. I have known a few of those types of women.

Most women are looking for a good time, few are looking to settle down with the right guy...

A few of 'us' women actually know what we want... but can't find it.... perhaps we are just too darn picky...


MW31

[edit on 7-3-2009 by misswanderer31]





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