In opening my second response, I want to clarify a few points first. I am simply stating that spanking or swatting a child on the bottom or on the
hand is not abuse. After re-reading my opponents replies in this debate, their talk about "smacks" on the head, around the ear, that we may not be
talking about the same specific issue. I am focusing my remarks around open handed spanking on a child's bottom or a swat on the hand. I am in no
way promoting or defending slapping or smacking a child in the face or head; in my mind, that does fall into the category of abuse.
As to my opponent's answers to my Socratic Questions....
Exactly my point. They don't. Learning through punishement? I know of children (own experience and observed) that smile and giggle even after
smacking the back of their hands several times.tWhat then? So smacking didn't help in the first place. Raise your voice, make the child become afraid
of you. And if that doesn't help, increase the force of your smack?
Children do, though, learn through punishment. Not all children will respond to "time outs", not all children will respond to "groundings", not
all children will respond to "a swat on the wrist", and not all children will respond to "spankings". Personally, I toned out lectures and
didn't pay attention.....it was so boring that I didn't hear half of what my parents said. But, when I was a little kid, a quick swat on the hand
or a spanking on the bottom got my attention real quick. And, I learned that if I didn't want to go through that, then I better not perform the
action that got me the swat in the first place. And, for the record, I do not approve of shouting or screaming at a child. It does induce a type of
fear that is difficult to understand in a small child.
Answer #2: Ask yourself, why the child is constantly breaking the rules. Have these rules been actually extablished and been understood by the child?
Most times children find themselfs in situations that could have been prevented by the neglecting supervising parent. Praise children often for their
good behaviour and you will find breaking rules will fade.
Ask why a 2 year old is constantly taking her 3 year old sister's favorite toy. Ok. Then, try to reason with both children, using adult ideas and
language. How's that working for you? They don't understand. At that age, they are testing boundries and very little gets their attention long
enough to make them see that they have done somethig wrong. Parent's can't keep their full attention on these little critters 24/7 to make sure
that no one does anything out of line. It just isn't realistic.
Praising good behavior works; some of us call it bribery, which works as well. But, on the flip side, punishment has to be dealt out for bad
behavior. Punishment that gets their attention to the point where they figure out pretty quickly that they (child) don't want to do it and suffer
Answer #3: No offence warrants a smack. Your example only shows neglect of the parents again. Teach them where and provide them space to play. And
supervise them so they don't end up getting hit by a car.
Yes, there are offenses that warrant spankings. In my house, those offenses included lying, stealing, back-talk, harassing my step-siblings, and
being disrespectful to the extreme. Those spankings stopped at around 10. After that, then I had my stuff taken away....my phone, my television,
going out and playing. At that age, I was a prisoner in my own home and wished for the few hours of being unable to sit down comfortably and then
having it all over....lesson learned.
Onto my opponene't main points....
Keep children from making mistakes? Isn't it the essence of life to learn from your mistakes?
Of course it is. But, we don't want the mistakes we make when we are toddlers to plague us throughout life. Toddlers see something they want and
take it. Withought proper punishment and parental intervention early on, those traits could follow that child into adulthood. What has more effect
1)a spanking on the bottom to show that you can't take other people's things....automatic attention getter that will probably make the child think
twice befofe committing the punishible action again or 2)Talking, ad nauseum to a 3 year old about the rules and responsibilities of the world at
large....a conversation/lecture that will more than likely put the child to sleep.
The smacking itself does not prevent a repetition of a mistake or doing a bad thing. Only through verbal communication and the teaching of right
behaviour and proper supervision can you prevent bad things from happening and mistakes being made over and over again.
Once again, I ask for proof or sources, Or, once again, is this just your personal opinion?
Socratic Question Anwers
1. Disrespect towards parents, siblings, and other extended family; disrespedt towards family frieds as well as the child's friends. Lying,
stealing, back-talk, extreme sibling rivalry, any action which can put a child into a dangerous situation which can cause lasting/physical harm
(playing in traffic, putting a child's hand on a burner)
2. Depends on the child and the situation. One spank on the bottom may work perfectly for one child, while another may need multiple spanks on the
bottom just to get the point across
3. Because we are talking about spanking and there is a line where physical discipline does cross into abuse; no one doubts that. But, I can't talk
to a 2 or 3 year old like I can to a 10 year old. It doesn't work that way. I have previously stated that at the age of 10, spanking stops. But,
before the age of 9 or 10 is reached, then spanking is a sure-fire way to get the child's attention and point out to them in simple terms what they
did wrong and how not to do it again.
4. I don't want any outside govrnmental agency telling me how to raise my kids. Physical discipline is a parent's perogative. If the parents
cross the line, then someone needs to get involved. But, a child who gets a spanking and automatically screams abuse just muddies the waters for the
rest of society
5. If you can convience me that society and government can raise my children better than I can, their father can, their grandparents can, and out
extended family and friends can.....then I might listen to your arguments
Socratic Question #1
1. How do you punish a toddler and make them see what they did wrong in the language capacity of an adult?
Socratic Question #2
2. How do you ensure that your form of punishment has gotten their attention, identified what the did wrong, and spelled out what will happen to them
if the behave badly again....when in an hour, they turn around and do the exact same thing?
Socratic Question #3
3. Do you really think that spanking is the root of all evil physical abuse in this world and could have nothing to do with the advent of gang
culture, television, the internet, video games, etc??