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reply to post by total_slacker
Stop whining. If you don't make enough money try harder or be smarter. Work that second job cause the long hours don't matter anymore. It's not like you have a family waiting for you at home.
Originally posted by moocowman
That's the second most ignorant remark I've ever read on ATS.
You think you have a "right" to see your children, but want to whine and complain about the responsibility for taking care of them that comes with it.
sorry, there's got to be a punishment for leaving kid
It's also an incentive not to F up in terms of having a kid.
If people didn't fear having to pay for mistakes, they would do it more.
So last night from 12:00 am to 2:30 am I spent some time discussing my "situation" with the husband. I told him that somehow I've lost control of this thing, how it feels like it's taken me over... I said he shouldn't love me, shouldn't want to help me because realistically I don't expect to ever get better. Stop obsessing, eat normally, stop purging, stop cutting... I just don't see it ever happening that way. He felt like the only thing that COULD save me from myself is the love he has for me. Something like, if you can't be better for yourself then be better for Lucas and I because we need and want you to be. I can see his thinking, where he's coming from... But, it's not something I can just turn off. It's impossible to say.. "Well, I love my husband and son, so I'm not going to do this anymore." God, I wish it were that simple.
There's a wall in my head and I can't hear over the voices that come from within. If it upsets him, the way I am, my first thought is: "Well, then I should leave you, because I don't want to hurt you and drag you down into this with me." And that's [snip], but to me, it seems logical. It's guilt I feel when he says he loves me. Guilt for being this obsessive, depressive, self absorbed, self-destructive mess. I'm not who I was when he married me, every day I'm less and less that person. He didn't sign on for what I'm putting him through, if he had known that this is what I would become, who knows wether we would ever have gotten together... Probably not. So how can I expect him to live this life with me when it isn't right or fair? He says he loves me and that will never change and no matter how bad it gets or for how long, he'd never leave because he's in it to the death. How [snip] sad. Makes me feel like [snip].
I was actually able to increase my intake a tad bit last night. Hopefully soon I can get it back up to 500/day which is where I should be... But, look at what happens! I have a couple hundred extra cals and I put on a pound... Although, I did only sleep for 3 hours, so maybe that has something to do with it too... Today I have no choice but to eat. I have a lunch date with a friend and coworker... Normally I wouldn't go, but I'm intrigued and I think it will be fun. Hopefully I can get away with something TINY and no-one will cause a big dramatic scene.
Eh, I'm gonna get at it... I love you girls. You're the only ones who understand me. My only source of comfort and normalcy. Great big kisses to you all.
B: Coffee - 60 cals
L: 1/2 side salad w/ ranch - 124 cals, 1/5 of a dinner roll - 30 cals, 1/2 bowl soup - 186 cals, Coffee (2 cups) - 60 cals
D: Cottage Cheese - 90 cals
Total: 490 cals / day (Wow. That's exactly where I should be) Please God... No gain. Lunch was nice though, he refused to leave until I ate enough, but he was nice about it, so I appreciate that.
You can not cut at work. You can not cut at work. You can not cut at work. You can not cut at work. So put the [snip] scissors down and put on a happy face. [snip].
The primary thing that I'd like to see is fathers (and mothers for that matter) thinking about what's best for their children and less about what's good for them.
This works both ways... I got custody of my son at age 1.....and NEVER EVER got $1 in child support.