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Fathers rights...or the lack of

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posted on Feb, 5 2009 @ 05:07 PM
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reply to post by whatukno
 





Do you know what I would love to see? Shared Parental Responsibility, not us guys getting screwed with absolutely no say so in how our children are raised


Shared parental responsibility is now law in the UK, unfortunately only in name.
Everything depends on the order of residency, if the order says the children resides with the mother parental responsibility goes out the window.

EG The order is in favour of the mother , although there is no evidence that a female is a better parent than a male. The children must live somewhere so the current family home is the place of choice, in that it is claimed without supporting evidence that the current house is more stable than somewhere else.
The father is then maneuvered out of his home regardless of his needs and very often without his consent.

The father one freezing november night is paying a visit to a local hospital as a family member is sick. While walking through the hospital car park which is unlit snow covered and apparently a place where dealers obtain the goods and do their trading. He sees in the distance 2 children a boy and a girl running across the car park wearing pajamas and slippers followed behind by a man in dark clothes and beanie.

Needless to say this sight on a freezing November night, was of concern to this father, perhaps the children had run out from the children s ward without anyone knowing.

As this father speeded up toward the children out of concern as the man they were being followed by was clearly not hospital staff or security, to his horror he discovered that they were in fact his own children.


The father ran to the kids shouting and when he got close enough grabbed them both and headed for the hospital entrance where his brother who was visiting was waiting by the door having a cigarette . The man behind the kids followed shouting abuse and profanities.

The freezing children were in the arms of their favourite uncle when the father called the police and the man in the beanie shouted abuse.

The father and uncle ushered the now crying children into the hospital foyer then the father confronted the man wearing the beanie. The man in the beanie turns out to be the ex wife's boyfriend who the father had seen but once before. The boyfriend is known in the area as a petty drug dealer and apparently a police grass.

Within a few minutes all hell broke loose in the hospital, the boyfriend wanted to take the children, security was called and the boyfriend was restrained.
The police arrived and stories were told, apparently the boyfriend had hurt his wrist earlier that day and suddenly needed an xray at 845pm.
The mother of the children was at a pub so the boyfriend decided to take the children with him.

The police spoke to the kids alone and were told that they wanted to go home with their dad, this is the guy who had been their primary caregiver for the last 4 years.

The hospital staff were appalled that the children were at the hospital in the first place and one of these was a pediatrician who had been treating the 8 year old daughter for severe asthma .

The mother of the children was eventually contacted and was brought to the hospital by the boyfriend as she was too drunk to drive.

At 950pm that sunday night, the police insisted against a barrage of protestations that the children should be handed over to the mother.

The father was informed that as the mother had a residency order he should comply or be arrested and cuffed in front of the children.

This was the poor innocent woman, who stood in front of a judge, claiming that the children should not see their father on Sundays as it disrupting their routing of being bathed and in bed by 730 ready for school Monday.

Before any woman starts flaming this post because maybe it is only one side of a story, the father in question is me and I got one hell of an axe to grind and many more tales like this about my children.




posted on Feb, 5 2009 @ 05:23 PM
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I feel your pain my friend... as I've been saying for years, with these feminist types floating around and destroying men's lives because they think the world revolves around them thanks to the sixties... "Men have become human ATM machines".

To paraphrase moocowman's signature: "I don't hate women, I just hate what they've collectively done as a species, to modern men"

[edit on 5/2/2009 by nrky]



posted on Feb, 5 2009 @ 05:24 PM
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reply to post by moocowman
 


That is a brutal story. I can see why you would have an axe to grind over that.

The worst that happened to me was I had a 50/50 split of custody, and still paid Support. I made the mandatory payments required by me every month. The mother called and told me she wanted more. I told her no, she was going to be getting what the court order was for. She called the Police and told them I had kidnapped my daughter. Even after it was proven that I had not, in fact, kidnapped my daughter, they refused to press charges for filing a false complaint. It was nice to see who side the law was clearly on.



posted on Feb, 5 2009 @ 05:34 PM
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reply to post by mushninja
 


I can certainly understand your frustration with this nation's child support laws and regulations. My ex divorced me a few years ago, when I got my child support hearing info, they were RETROACTIVELY seeking (2)years at $1,200 a month.

The worst part was divorce lawyers encourage their clients to file false domesti violence claims, because yet ANOTHER flawed law, grants them an ex-parte hearing where the accused does not get the constitutionally gauranteed right to face their accuser, hear evidence and defend themselves.

Being that I'm not OJ, can't afford a 'dream team' I went into court and lost, she got the injunction, kids, house, car and I got to sleep on the streets! If you want to see the most OBVIOUSLY 'coached' injunction, go check out my website You will see evidence that the judge in this case was soo biased against MEN, that her absolutely absurd allegations were taken as gospel truth! An even bigger shocker, this same judge presided over our divorce some months later.

This people is how they seperate fathers from their children, create emotionally, socially mal-adjusted children who grow up and become involved in the criminal justice system, feeding the monster.....but WE as fathers are made out to be the monsters!

And just for any of those who might think to say "this guy is what she said" ask yourself this question, how could someone in their late (30's) never have a criminal record, have no other relationships with any of the signs of abuse? I can also offer you a suggestion....FOLLOW THE MONEY!



posted on Feb, 5 2009 @ 05:34 PM
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It would be the child's choice eventually.

Just wait, maybe then your kid will ask his mom where his real daddy is.



posted on Feb, 5 2009 @ 05:49 PM
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reply to post by moocowman
 


This is why I asked our lawmakers to read this thread. Perhaps it's stories like this that will shake loose their heads from their rear ends and actually change something.

Being a father isn't simply paying money. That's not what being a father is about. Being a father is being a roll model, and someone the child can be with and learn from.

Taking a child away from their parent only hurts the child and no amount of money can make up for the missing parent.



posted on Feb, 5 2009 @ 05:51 PM
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I am by no means a lawyer, but I fail to see if she cheated on you, you are left responsible for the break up?

While I can only imagine life must be sucking for you at the moment, it seems that you are not telling the full story of whose fault is it.

Are you requested to pay a certain amount of your money or a percentage? Or both?



posted on Feb, 5 2009 @ 06:17 PM
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reply to post by Rook1545
 





That is a brutal story. I can see why you would have an axe to grind over that.



That my friend is but the tip of the iceberg, I could tell you stories that would make your hair curl and almost drove me to end my life. Done the kidnapping bit so I understand where you've been my friend

Nevertheless, you are correct dude the laws currently favours the parent with breasts, however there are times that this can work to the mans advantage I won't expand on that right now.

Unlike yourself I have not given one penny to my ex, and it will be a cold day in hell before I do, and against the best advice of my lawyers i told the judge too right in front of her.

If my children need a meal, then when they're with me they'll get a meal, if my children need clothing,then when they're with me I'll clothe them.
If my children need some books, when they're with me I will provide them and so on.
And If for any reason I could not at anytime provide one or all of those things that require some money, my children have aunts uncles grandparents and friends, who would gladly provide any of these things until they're old enough to provide for themselves.
The only thing missing is the relationship they have with me which no money can buy.

And I stuck by my principles f*** the lot of them, okay there was a lot of heartache along the way and I still feel like crap now after the struggle.

But hey as I write this now, my son who is now 11 is tucked up in bed, which I made some three years ago on the porch of the house I rented next to the road, I copied the set of bunks out of a store brochure.
He has now been living with me for over a year and his performance at school has been greatly improved.

My daughter who is now 12 is also upstairs as I write she with her friend on some bunks that were traded for a bed my mum got her but went too small.
She's half here and half with her mum and chooses this herself which is great.

Not one penny, not one freeking penny my kids are not items for barter.

The best thing that could ever happen to obtain level the playing field for fathers rights, is when homosexuals and lesbians have the right to a civil partnership. This will start changing everything, all men whether divorced or not, fathers or not, should think very deeply about this subject.



posted on Feb, 5 2009 @ 06:30 PM
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reply to post by nrky
 


Cheers dude nice paraphrasing, there's so many worse off though, and I wish I could help them somehow .

People have to start thinking very hard before they get into relationships, my marriage license cost about £13 my divorce cost thousands and thousands and no end of misery for my children I am still 50% responsible for that.

[edit on 5-2-2009 by moocowman]



posted on Feb, 5 2009 @ 09:44 PM
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If I were to go to a lot of fathers now, most would not know the clothing size their children wear, the names of their doctors, the names and dosage of medicine they are taking. While some do, most don't. Many would not know who their teachers are.

Whenever my husband picks our son up from daycare. I ask him about his schedule and his day. I get"I dunno" and I still get "I dunno" after about 10 different times of this.

Ask any active mother, they know their sleeping habits for the past three months, what they have been eating, who they have been around, what their naps have been like. And the name of the guinea pig that day.

That is why women get custody.



Bitterness is paving the way to stereotyping. Both genders manipulate the system.

But do a survey,and the ratio of men abandoning families is gonna be about 20:1 on the conservative.

I know way to many women right now who are trying to get by raising families, while the men claim they have no income and work nice jobs under the table.
So don't tell me women are the only ones working the system.


And if you insist on stereotyping and accusing all women of being manipulative, then you are setting yourself up to ostracisizing half of the human population,and in all likliehood, will never have a meaningful relationship again.

All stereotyping does is take away opportunities to get to know someone.



posted on Feb, 5 2009 @ 10:57 PM
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I just wanted to say its not all stereotype. Women's and Men's brains are different.

Women's brains are wired to be multi-taskers. In general women do better with younger children - especially if there is more then one - simply because of brain design.

Men's brains are wired more to be single focus. Men would probably be OK with a single child or older child - but not younger multiple children. However - they are great if they and the child have the same interest - a hobby such as a sport.

Men can zero in on a TV program and be completely oblivious to anything else around them.

This happened to me. The one and only time I left the kids with my husband while I went 3 blocks to the corner store - - the 1 year old fell into the swimming pool and would have drowned except her 4 year old sister saw her. He got focused on a TV show. (just for the record - he did not drink or use drugs).

**** Now of course this does not apply to every individual. I am not saying a man can not be the better parent.

Let's look at science as another viewpoint - - and leave the Feminist rants out of it.



posted on Feb, 5 2009 @ 11:03 PM
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And now for more feminazi bigot scam BS.

DrEd



posted on Feb, 5 2009 @ 11:23 PM
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Originally posted by EdWardMD
And now for more feminazi bigot scam BS.

DrEd


Are you trying to prove the point that men take the role of victim seriously?

Give up the name calling and make an effort to post something intelligent.



posted on Feb, 6 2009 @ 12:35 AM
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Originally posted by Annee

Originally posted by EdWardMD
And now for more feminazi bigot scam BS.

DrEd


Are you trying to prove the point that men take the role of victim seriously?

Give up the name calling and make an effort to post something intelligent.



Isn't it amazing when someone makes a general post and invariably one of the guilty parties takes offense and IDs themself.

BTW, Fa Q and see Below Me,

DrEd

[edit on 6-2-2009 by EdWardMD]

[edit on 6-2-2009 by EdWardMD]



posted on Feb, 6 2009 @ 12:52 AM
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reply to post by mushninja
 
Men have very few rights when it comes to their children.

The courts looks upon children like the woman's property and many women are using their children as pawns to "get back" at their ex.

They will manipulate and play all kinds of games.

Try to alienate your child/children against you.

Grab as much of your money as possible (my ex daughter in law gets 42% of my son's paycheck).

If you lose your job, tough shi* the woman can then have you thrown into jail for not being able to pay "child support".

The law was originally set up to protect the weak and innocent but times have changed and women are no longer weak or innocent.

Many not all, twist and bend the laws to dole out punishment and grab money that many times never is used for supporting the child. Many young women have learned to use the system to their advantage with no regard for their child or the person that helped create that sweet little life.

So many children now are being raised in single parent households and have lost out on knowing their father and father's parents (the paternal grand parents).

My son is the one who diapered and fed our grand daughter while mom "went to night school" (come to find out 3 nights at school, 1 night out with a lover). My son developed a close bond with his daughter, because he was the main care giver while an infant. She still cries when she has to "go back to mom" (she is 7). Joint custody is a joke. For dad that means 48 hours every two weeks IF mom doesn't play games.

Sometimes my son has to drive 45 miles to pick up his daugher.

Our courts are discriminatory against men BIG TIME. Women have all the power and many abuse that power for their self gratification at the expense of the child and their child's father.

Young men out there BEWARE. Really get to know someone before you slip on that ring and say I do.

You risk the possiblity of missing school plays and other milestones if "mom" doesn't want to "share".

My son doesn't know where Alexis goes to school
Doesn't know where she lives
Has no way of reaching his daughter if an emergency arises
Must hand over 42% of his paycheck
Doesn't see or hear from Alexis every other holiday
Has to endure knowing his daughter has been exposed to five different men in the six years.
His daughter crying when it's time to get ready to "go back to mom"
and the endless hate games, games and more games "mom" seems to love to play.

Courts award children to the "mother" 80% of the time. They do not check to see if "mom" does drugs, drinks, sleeps around with every tom, dick and harry.

Many children are used as battering rams and everyone wonders why we have to build more prisons every year.

So many children are ignored by our "system of justice".

Marriage is a legal contract and men have little or no rights.

Women now seem to think it's cute to "have the baby experience" minus the "marriage experience". They use the man as a free insemination service.

Our country is now flooded with young women that have the "cute spoiled princess syndrome" and Hollywood as well as our courts promote it.

Our laws no longer protect the innocent.

It still takes two to make a baby and that child deserves to have a heritage. That heritage includes BOTH mother and father as well as maternal and paternal grandparents.

When people use to own slaves one of the worst things they could do was separate the family unit and that is what is being allowed to happen now. So many children separated from their father and his side of the family.

Watch the movie "Gone Baby Gone" starring Morgan Freeman. That is a very accurate portrayal of our social laws at present.

My grand daughter sees her mother maybe 20 minutes a day, most of the time she is left "with any babysitter" and soon, she will be "just another key latch kid". Her last comment to me was "Why can't I live with Papa, he's the one who really loves me?". It breaks my heart each time she starts to sob as my son is putting on her coat.

She throws her little arms around my neck and doesn't want to let go.

Children need to be raised in a loving, stable and supervised home enviroment or they turn out to be miserable maladjusted adults.



[edit on 6-2-2009 by ofhumandescent]



posted on Feb, 6 2009 @ 01:03 AM
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Presumptive Equal Shared Parenting is the only Constitutional choice. It's proven best interest. A divorce is between adults, the children still have a mother and father and have equal access to both. NO ONE LOSES ANY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS JUST BECAUSE OF A F***KING DIVORCE - religious bigot fanatics are responsible. 2 Homes instead of one. It's the way nature, God and the Constitution designed it, everything else is unConstitutional tyranny of government and bigot religious fanatics.

Google Ed Ward MD for many of US government tyranny of families, murder and bigotry. Spaht Downs on the Peoples Rights
www.thepriceofliberty.org...

DrEd

[edit on 6-2-2009 by EdWardMD]

[edit on 6-2-2009 by EdWardMD]

[edit on 6-2-2009 by EdWardMD]



posted on Feb, 6 2009 @ 01:29 AM
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reply to post by Rollinster
 
You are right.

My son has always been a good father, always been there whenever my ex daugher in law snaps her fingers and "needs a sitter".

Just last weekend, I over heard my grand daughter ask her papa, "How much longer until I can come stay with you Papa? I miss you so".

They formed a bond in those first 12 months, as Michael cared for her not her mother (mom was too busy going to school and out to bars and partying).

That bond has increased over the six years.

Our system of justice is a lame joke. A twisted and bent joke.

Justice is equality for all.



posted on Feb, 6 2009 @ 01:39 AM
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reply to post by wantsome
 
It cost my husband and I (the paternal grandparents) $8,000 to make sure the little bitc* couldn't move out of state.

She tried to pull that.

She also tried to take the townhouse my husband and I paid for until we brought in all the monthly receipts to court.

So many hateful, spiteful and childish games my ex-daughter in law plays with no regard for how this is affecting her daughter.

Her only thought is for herself and her being able to make everyone involved with her miserable.

If someone really loves their child, they will set aside their thirst for personal revenge and try to be civil and compromising.

Good qualities to teach a child. Children learn by watching what we do, not what we say.

What are all the millions and millions of children learning by all of this?

My ex daughter in law came from a messed up home life and she is a tortured soul.

She came from a home where her mother had to abandon her four children and move to another state just to get away from her really mean husband (my grand daugher's maternal grandfather).

My ex daughter in law used the exact same divorce lawyer her father used against her mother......go figure.

Her father was so onery, he didn't even want to see our sweet little precious grand daughter until he was on his death bed. He didn't want to see his own grand daughter until she was almost two.

My ex daughter in law's mother could also have cared less, she wanted to be rid of the whole bunch.

My ex daughter in law turned out like her father that raised her, always looking for a good fight. That is all she knows how to do. She's a mean and hateful person.

Sad, she's using her daughter as a pawn to sprew out her hatefulness and doesn't see how this is affecting our grand daughter.

People have to get a license to drive, but anyone can have a baby.


Hint: When you are dating, getting to know someone - check out their family. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree is a mostly accurate proverb. People learn how to relate and compromise (or not compromise) by watching the people in their lives.



[edit on 6-2-2009 by ofhumandescent]



posted on Feb, 6 2009 @ 02:04 AM
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Originally posted by ofhumandescent
reply to post by mushninja
 


My grand daughter sees her mother maybe 20 minutes a day, most of the time she is left "with any babysitter" and soon, she will be "just another key latch kid". Her last comment to me was "Why can't I live with Papa, he's the one who really loves me?". It breaks my heart each time she starts to sob as my son is putting on her coat.

She throws her little arms around my neck and doesn't want to let go.







[edit on 6-2-2009 by ofhumandescent]




This just ripped my heart out.

As an older man I have seen my share. Women really are off the hook these days God help them. There is nothing worse than several generations of poor women that have been lead down this road and have become hard of head and hard of heart. They have become in so many cases victims of themselves and makers of victims.

How do you screw up a society? Pit the sexes against each other and its a wrap.

You read and hear about women being better this and that and it may all be true. One thing is sure that they are also better manipulators.



posted on Feb, 6 2009 @ 02:08 AM
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[edit on 6-2-2009 by ofhumandescent]



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