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Why do i or others have trouble making eye contact?

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posted on Jan, 28 2009 @ 02:31 AM
Could it be that you suffer from some severe brain problem and that you require medication??? That's what they want you to think...

Really though... I think your a perfectly normal man who is not like all the other people. Is this a sickness? Is this a disease? Is this a problem? Only if you think that its a problem. I bet that something you saw on TV, article about not connecting with people maybe, created this doubt about your self.

From reading your posts and just the hints of how you live your life and converse with your wife, I think your a great guy and I'd love to know you. You strike me as a wonderful person to know and very interesting to talk with. Now how do your friends and family feel?

If the suggestions work for you, more power to you, but don't sweat it. Eye contact is not the be all and the end all. The fact that some say it means possible questionable loyalty or whatever, I say that is part of the conspiracy to create these feelings within all of us. The need to medicate the masses is out in the open and the propaganda to make you feel that medication is the way out, is their hope. They want you to go into the doctor's office and ask for a specific drug. No questions... you get a prescription.

As for Asbergers... This is another one of the ICD claims that a group of feelings, emotions, body functions, is due in part by some brain dysfunction and can possibly be treated with medication. Here are some links, link2, link3, that show that these groups of emotions are created by psychiatrists for theirs and the drug companies profit.

Don't fall for this David. Your perfectly normal
If you do want to change yourself for others, please watch out and don't do it too fast. Remember that your wife married you for who you are, not who everyone wants you to become.

Hope I don't sound wishy washy but your perfect the way you are...

In my eyes at least. ASK your family and friends what they think before you continue to think that you are not a whole person because of this label.


posted on Jan, 28 2009 @ 03:43 PM
Perhaps it has something to do with....

When we look at others we are actually looking at another location of our selves...

What we refer to as the human Mind is not actually the human mind at all but rather a droplet of the One Mind....

Many say there is only One!

But do they believe that, themselves ???

Perhaps most only put on a front and can't handle being their true selves ???

But I personally think there are many different reasons, why people may find difficulty making or maintaining eye contact, but I think it has something to do with seeing ourselves in others...

There is however an interesting situation in "The All" and that everything has an "Inner" and "Outer" whether "Conceptual" or "Material"...

"Inners" and "Outers" are Opposites...

Perhaps The "Outer" knows All and The "Inner", is totally the Opposite knowing "Nothing"...

When you think about it the outer has Dimension but as for he Centre there is no size or shape and is in fact Nothing and Only Conceptual.

If the Centre was to have Dimension then it could Not be the Absolute Centre as Dimension is in the Position of between The Centre and the Outer...

So if the Centre is "Nothing" then perhaps when we Look at others they are a Part of our Outer and opposite to the Inner, thus leaving a feeling of "Question"...

But then again who am I to know ????

Personally I have never had the experience of Not being able to make Eye Contact. They Eyes are definitely the Windows to the Soul but The Soul is the Outer and the Manifestation of the Universe is The Inner with respect to the Soul...

A Drawing of The Old Soul see Drawing below...

And the Soul after partaking in The Metamorphoses see Drawing below...

[edit on 28-1-2009 by The Matrix Traveller]

posted on Jan, 28 2009 @ 06:53 PM
Shyness is a virtue. Staring people down tends to be a brutish behavior.

posted on Jan, 28 2009 @ 08:17 PM
reply to post by David9176

I have had the problem all my life and I asked a family doctor in 1956 if I had Myasthenia-Gravis or was it physicological. He didn't know.
In 2008 I was given a blood test after sudden double vision and it was discovered I had M-G, probably all my life causing that same problem. Capn' Marvel

posted on Jan, 28 2009 @ 09:11 PM
reply to post by David9176

First David, you are normal. When studying and classifying people for hypnosis we need to assess which way they learn best. These classifications are either physical suggestive or emotional suggestive. You are emotional. They are not comfortable with others in their space and not comfortable looking into others eyes. It also means as you are experiencing life you are affected first by a thought, then emotions then physically.
You might consider looking into the study of hypnosis to understand this fully. To me this is a very common occurance and nothing to get upset by. It's just another reminder how different we all are.

posted on Jan, 28 2009 @ 09:24 PM
hey i have this problem, thank you for posting!!! i feel whenever i look someone in the eye or catch a stranger looking at me i cant keep the eye contact cause i feel like this "draining" or "pulling" feeling and it makes me feel uncomfortable. whats with that? and after reading all your comments ive come to a conclusion for myself that i can just feel the vibes of people's eyes/energy directed at me.. and most of the general public or strangers have a negative polarity vibe directed towards me and i feels uncomfortable... but with society's decay and people's nature is more judgemental and negative, how to deal with this situation? i'd like to be able to make eye contact with people without feeling violated or drained...

posted on Jan, 28 2009 @ 09:52 PM
Many people with Asperger's have a pyrrole disorder known as Pyroluria. I've started another thread about it here It involves a severe b6 and zinc deficiency.

I have this condition. Before treatment I had major aversion to eye contact. For me, it felt like mini-seizures going off. It caused a lot of stress. When I started taking high-dose niacin & vitamin-c, it stopped occurring.

You may want to check into this.

posted on Jan, 28 2009 @ 09:57 PM
Since this is in the metaphysics forum, maybe you are seeing many "copies" of yourself when you look into someone else's eyes. Eventually is gets overwhelming and you have to break visual contact. Sort of like when a camera looks into a mirror it makes copies over and over. It might happen with everyone but only people that are sensitive to it pick it up and find it uncomfortable.

I don't mean literally see copies but in some form it is sensed.

[edit on 28-1-2009 by ghaleon12]

posted on Jan, 28 2009 @ 10:07 PM

Originally posted by merryxmas
I went on a date with a girl on Saturday night and she could barely hold eye contact for a second always looking away. I thought she just needed a few drinks to loosen up but she continued to do that the whole night. It really put me off. I'm pretty sure it's a self esteem and possibly fear thing but you should definitely work on it. I find it to be really annoying. Almost as annoying as when people who NEVER break eye contact with you and just stare and stare and stare. That's very rude as well. Pick up some subtle social cues.

Yes, but just about everyone avoids eye contact with those they do not want to "bond" with, so to speak; espcialy with the opposite sex so as not to lead the other person on. It's the opposite of romance.

posted on May, 31 2009 @ 02:05 AM
I identify with the OP. I've always had problems with eye contact. Putting labels on it like Asperger's or Social Anxiety Disorder doesn't seem productive to me.

For what it is worth, the reason I think I have the problem with eye contact, is for self-protection. Eye contact for me seems to force me to make a personal connection with the other person. That connection is what I am protecting myself from.

Being comfortable with the people and the environment can make this go away for short periods of time.

But the only thing that has helped me to make that eye contact when it is necessary, is just old-fashioned bravery. Overcome the obstacle. Perhaps, once you do it a few times, the positive results will allow you to make eye contact in the future with less effort.

Hopefully, something here resonants with you. If not, at least you know that there is at least one more person out there struggling with the same thing.

posted on May, 31 2009 @ 02:29 AM
Dude (OP), we sound identical. I almost lost my last job/interview because my recruiter kept saying they had issues with me not making eye contact. When I speak to people I lose focus because I think about them staring into my eyes and am in pain feeling like I have to look back at them. The brought this up in the interview and I was like.. well.. I'm a quiet type and my record speaks for itself, they eventually hired me. I have always been a very shy type and introverted person. Lately at work I just give co-workers glances for a second or two then just act as if I'm listening intently while staring elsewhere or I work at the same time they speak to me with the odd glance and vocal feedback that I'm listening. I also rarely look straight into my wife's eyes for more than a few seconds even though she's beautiful. It seems I have a lot of physical burdens in life that most others do not have therefore do not understand. Shyness, allergies, sleep disorder, etc. I often find I am most comfortable on the internet typing to others. Or like David if I have 5 or 6 beers I'm all good and enjoy time with others. Some of this likely is because I was always shy, was often scolded as a child, and was bullied at school for a while. I guess in other words I was turned off to people in general, just hated them and did not even want to look at them much less in the eye. Things got better at college and was very social there. My wife knows I don't like making eye contact and she doesn't really care, and if others have a problem with it I tend to not care too much. Moving to Japan sounds bloody great! lol

[edit on 31-5-2009 by contemplator]

posted on May, 31 2009 @ 03:25 AM
I haven't read all the replies in this long thread but the OP's question is a good one.

Oddly enough, I was just talking this over with a friend the other day. His theory is that if you were harshly disciplined by your parents as a child, you associate eye contact with accusation and tend to look away.

I've spent most of my life in East Asia and grew up in a culture where direct eye contact is considered extremely rude, especially towards superiors. So there is a cultural aspect to it as well. Although I'm a US citizen, after spending most of my life in Asia the US tendency to make prolonged contact certainly does freak me out.

posted on May, 31 2009 @ 04:32 AM

Originally posted by Grumble
I don't know, but I do not trust people who will not look me in the eye, and sometimes I even interpret it as a lack of respect. If I were you, I would work to make it a habit.

I suffer from anxiety, which sometimes makes me feel inferior to people, sometimes making it hard to look at people in the eyes.

Stick your respect up your jacksy mate, not everyone is the same.

posted on May, 31 2009 @ 07:12 AM

Originally posted by David9176
Throughout my life for as long as I can remember, I've always had a difficult time looking people into the eye and i'm not really sure why.
. . .

I come from a large family in which nearly everyone has hereditary Aspergers, so I may be biased in thinking that's the most likely cause.
It was only in my 40s that a patient, loving friend trained me so I could manage eye-contact fairly easily.

Normal, as you no doubt have gathered from the responses, is a matter of perception. I was very relieved with all three children to see that they were normal; i.e. they all had symptoms of Aspergers. I would have been lost trying to raise noisy, outgoing, popular kids who wanted to play footy and go to the pub. Instead I have quiet, gentle, serious kids who are great at studying whatever the current subject they love is, and who all have an affinity with computers.

All my family have been successful in their chosen fields, which have ranged from inventing, teaching, metallurgy and health disciplines to leading a big bikie group and trading in illegal substances. If you do have Aspergers it is not a disability, it's just a difference.

Of course it can make interviews difficult, but you will find some employers actually want aspies, as we tend to work harder and be unlikely to quarrel in the workplace.

No one in my family has been offered drugs for Aspergers, and I would not dream of taking any. But we're in Australia, where drugs are much less used than they are in America.

Do you tend to talk in a monotone? Do you find it difficult to interpret facial expressions and body language? Do you tend to get very enthusiastic about one particular subject? These are pretty definitive aspie traits.

Once you see a problem like this it can be gradually fixed. However socialising will always be a little more difficult for an aspie. One aspie son of mine learned to modulate his voice by singing along for years to Sing Star, and now not only speaks beautifully, but sings with his own band.

So good luck, and if you're an aspie be proud of the fact. The disadvantages,which can be worked on, are far outweighed by the advantages.

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